Focalin Addiction!! (Page 3)

Updated

My first semester in college was a disaster as I began at the age of 25 and only 3 months after leaving an all together different environment in the military where I served 4 tours in the Middle East. I never missed a class and yet my GPA at the end was a 1.75. I literally couldn’t absorb anything in class, fought off falling asleep more often than not, and couldn’t seem to apply my discipline to making myself sit and read. So, in the Fall of ’05 I began taking Focalin 10mg and the difference was night and day. Not only did I retain information from class, but I was able to sit down and read without losing focus, I actually enjoyed it, and my second semester GPA was a 3.63! Now it is the beginning of Fall 2008, I graduated in May, and have started an already successful career at a law firm. I know, what’s the problem right? Well, if you notice I’ve been on Focalin for 3 years now and to say I’m hooked on the drug would be an understatement. I’ve taken enough before to exhibit at least 3 of the listed signs of overdose such as, sweating, dizziness, jittery, etc… What’s worse is that my job requires me to sit at a desk all day…..ALL DAY and without Focalin that’s just not possible for me and I know that about myself, but I don’t just take it at work. I get urges to take it afterwards and have even stayed up for 3 and 4 days taking one pill after another every couple of hours and browsing the net, reading books, writing out goals, plans, what have you and I can’t seem to stop. Focalin used to make me so sociable and I’d love talking about a variety of things with different friends, people from my classes, and even strangers, but now I’m the opposite. I’m anti-social, and I’ll be as awake and as focused as you can imagine and yet I don’t want to do a thing. I won’t eat, but I’ll maybe write for a while, browse the net a bit, read some, but nothing sticks anymore like it used to. One task, one pill is a thing of the long gone past. If I stop using the drug my performance at work will drop considerably, making me the 1.75 GPA guy all over again, but if I keep on like this I fear my performance in life will drop drastically. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place and any advice will be greatly appreciated. I need to find a way to taper off the amount because the 10mg twice a day I’m prescribed doesn’t even touch the tolerance I have built for Focalin over the last 3 years. Help!!

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41

I don't think I've quite reached addiction-level with Focalin, but it's getting there and my life is a mess in general. I'm a 25-year-old male who dropped out -- essentially failed out -- of graduate school, where I was studying to be a clinical psychologist (go figure), close to three months ago.

I've been prescribed Focalin since August and, for the first time, I noticed actual effects from an ADHD medication. Frankly, I love the drug. In general, it didn't help enough with concentration and productivity for me to succeed in grad school and regularly fulfill my responsibilities, but it boosted my mood a lot (I have what I'd call moderate-to-severe-range depression). I describe it as having some antidepressant qualities, which is probably true, but even in therapeutic doses, I think these effects at times are, at least qualitatively, basically a mild euphoric high. Sometimes the Focalin makes me feel as though I've put on rose-colored glasses, makes me feel alive, like the world is full of excitement and possibility. Having done my first-year grad school internship at a substance abuse clinic, I know a fair amount about addiction, enough to know that I'm starting to go down a dangerous path, psychologically and behaviorally.

Close to a month ago, I finally tried snorting it, and it's hard not to think about it, to plan on when I can do it based on the schedules of those around me so I can have several uninterrupted hours to be high. Not only do I like the effects, but I even like the process of preparing it -- {edited for safety reasons} the burn in my nostrils, the sweet taste/smell of the drip, etc. I almost feel high before I even snort it. It makes me euphoric. I love listening to music on it, even feeling my heart race.

I am miserable in general, and sometimes I think being on it is the only thing that makes me happy. I know it can only lead to bad things, tell myself I won't do it again once I start to come down from it, and I'm already making some excuses for weird behavior. Because I sometimes get cold-like symptoms after snorting it (coughing, dry throat, sniffles, etc.), I texted my girlfriend yesterday, knowing I would see her later that night, telling her I'd sort of been feeling a weird mix of unusual motivation and sickness (what else but a stimulant would do that?) -- a description I thought would satisfactorily explain any weird behavior she might see.

I feel it getting out of control, and it's only a symptom, self-medication, of larger life problems with depression, lacking direction, etc. I know all this but still want to do it. Just writing this makes me excited to do it tonight and stay up listening to music and watching movies. Having not even taken it in 35 hours, I'm already feeling some flutters in my stomach and a more intense heartbeat, and am mentally cutting down my Chinese food order to account for appetite suppression.

I appreciate your taking the time to read this and knowing I'm not the only one struggling. I feel and wish the best for all who have posted. Any suggestions, comments, experiences, etc., would be greatly appreciated.

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42

Having a "weak mind" has not one single thing to do with drug addiction. I am the strongest person I know and I also know that I have given my very best effort to NOT taking some particular drug and been completely unsuccessful. I have lived through pain so severe that most people would never be able to comprehend it. I put myself through graduate school without help and starting with $400 to my name. I have lived through hospitalization in a psych ward for depression so intense I was planning suicide. I have had electroshock treatments. I quit a ten year, high dose physical dependence on benzodiazepines, at home, alone without sleep for five days. But I cannot keep myself from taking the stimulants prescribed to me for fatigue and depression. I have flushed hundreds of pills down the toilet because I knew it was the only way to stop taking them.

So, to the person who says that "weak minded" pair shouldn't take stimulants, perhaps you should spend some time educating yourself as to the nature of addiction.

to everyone who keeps saying "ask your cycle l doctor, he's the one who knows your history and will know what you should do" I have thus to say:
When I told my psychiatrist about my issues with stimulants and that I wanted to quit taking them, but that I was worried about the withdrawal, he informed me that there "WOULD BE NO WITHDRAWAL." My physical doctor has prescribed medication to me that would have killed me yet I had taken it - there was a fatal drug interaction with another med he knew I was taking. The point is that most doctors in the U.S. are under-educated, uninterested, too busy and seeing too many patients. They would not recognize you if they saw you in the street - in fact they don't recognize you from one appointment to the next. Doctors are not the Godlike figures we are told to believe they are. You must take what they tell you with s large grain of salt and then read about your problem yourself. You have to be your own doctor now.

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43

You are always going to be add or adhd, you dont hsve to stop taking it. Ever. My hubby is in the mefical field and has been on it for 40 years, its proven safe up to 60. Add or hd is like diabetes, it does not go away. If the dose quits working switch to another stimulant.

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44

Ok sorry if this is way off the subject. But swim just took 30mgs of focalin Rx for the first time. Ever sence it kick in he said that he was feeling sick and feeling vary weird and he threw up. Hes now laying in bed sick and tierd still cant eat. Is there somthing wrong should i go to the ER??? Please help!

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45

Don't say your sorry for slipping back into it! Its extremly difficult...I've slipped back in several times. If there's any in my houuse I do one after the other till I'm actually scared I could die. Just keep trying. I kicked a 4 year coke addiction & this is as equaly dificult! Hang in there!

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46

Hey colin, I know exactly what your starting to experience. The thing is your lucky that 1) your obviously intelligent naturally w/o them & don't need em to survive... yet. 2) your young & only just started taking em so you can stop now before you turn out like me. I'm 29 now & was born very healthy & intelligent naturally but was labeled add & forcibly drugged w ritalin from the age of 8. Now I have drug abuse & addiction problems, cannot maintain employment, or even complete my bachelors degree(despite above average I.Q.). I used to HATE taking pills as a kid(they had to hide ritalin in ice cream against my will) now I can't go 5 minutes w/o thinking "what am I missing right now? What pill do I need to take to modulate my mood?" While carrying a pill caddy & bottle of water with me even as I walk around the house! These drugs are the closest thing to coke aside from coke itself & ofcourse introducing them to a growing/maturing mind will overexpress the dopamine pathways in reward & pleasure areas which program future drug seeking/abusing potential. These things cause addiction, Stop now! If u have to take these things wait atleast until your brain is fully developed, then maybe if u absolutely need em(but nobody does, mankind got on just fine prior to focalin) its a horrible crutch to give yourself for life. I can't go a day w/o adderall now after years of it but u can so stop pls. And as for the bi-polar, if everyone was unipolar(one monotonous boring mood all the time) we would all be zombies but being happy at times in the day & sad at others is umm actually just being human. Honestly I can't think of one person that has ever gone to a psych & been told they're a perfectly normal person w/o any disorder that doesn't need any meds, can you? It's all just big business pharmaceutical bs, they are a business w only one interest they're profit, they could care less about our health or how their drugs affect us.

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47

I am addicted to focalin. Where can I turn for help discretely?

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48

Medical marijuana high cbd low thc. It saved me, then I moved back to where it was illegal tx I'm now addicted to focalin among other pills I am prescribed. Mmj is a real true help! I've got to move out of here again. I just told my doc. I'm hooked, Going in tomorrow for new options.

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49

Well said!

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50

I started on 10mg a day. Was great the first day and the second then I noticed by mid day it's effects wearing down. I took another to see and bam back to feeling ok. I immediately called my doc. Here I am week 3andI get 40s chewing away like candy abusing the hell out of them. Going to see doc tomorrow, I told him I'm an addict, I don't know why he prescribed knowing that. I used to do meth, this is same stuff in small controlled doses. An addict just cannot use it. Go natural if you can. When I lived in New Mexico, medical marijuana kept me in line 2 years straight held down my job and could function, be creative and sociable. All you get is hungry if you abuse it. Good luck to all, I will post after Dr visit tomorrow.

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51

Hey I have been there and I have answer for you,but you have to listen. all you need is to switech from Adderall to Vyvanse, now vyvanse is amphetamines still but you can't abuse it, pill has to be taken by mouth it has to go through liver to activate the amphetamines. in other words until you take it, it is inactive, can't abuse, or do any of the crazy stuff. but this is way so your doctor doesn't have to know you are addicted to Adderall, and vyvanselast longer up too 14 hours.just tell your doc you read about vyvanse and heard it last and works better and want to try it. now here is part you probably don't want to hear. you only take one a day it last all day into night,you need someone you can trust to give you one every day,if you don't you will run out fast,only give you 30 ,and that's only way of abuse taking more than one. Now I'm 37 my mom brings mine by every morning,I'm on 60mg which is equivalent to I'm strength to 40mg Adderall,but last longer.so it's make a change and still get treatment or one day having heart attack,psychotic break,or death. really I was addict 11 years,I don't know you but I know what u are feeling,so please give this a try

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52

I'm going to agree with James. I'm the guy, Alex, who wrote about being addicted to Focalin on March 16, 2013. I've been on Vyvanse for close to a year. I'm on 40 mg, I haven't abused it, not even once. It gives me some sleep problems but whatever, my cravings are much less than when I first quit Focalin. My psychiatrist says crystal meth addicts have been successful with Vyvanse, and no matter how addicted you are to Focalin, you are probably not as bad as even a mild to moderate crystal meth addict. The Vyvanse gives you a little boost without getting you high or making you feel like you HAVE TO be high. In fact, that little boost may help with the cravings (maybe not for everyone) more than taking nothing would.

I quit Focalin basically on roughly April 11, 2013, except for maybe insufflating half a pill I found about a month after I quit. So it's been about 17 months. I know it hasn't been that long in the grand scheme of things, but it's been long enough that I feel I can offer some perspective. With the perspective I have, I will say that time heals all wounds. I won't say I never have any cravings, but they are much MUCH less for no logical reason other than it has been a long time.

I accept that I understand something that I didn't understand previously, that is, something that I didn't understand when I worked with addicts. What I didn't understand is that addiction is lifelong. I accept that some part of me, even if I live to be 95 years old, will say, "damn, I wonder what it would be like to insufflate Focalin again." As long as you admit that and realize you are not impervious to it, you have a chance. Recognize that, whether or not you used to think you have "an addictive personality," some part of you now does.

You can't pretend the positives don't exist, even as you concede that the negatives outweigh the positives. The fact is undeniable: If you get super super high on Focalin or coke or whatever (even if you in general are a super depressed person), you will probably feel better for those few hours or half hour or whatever than you will ever feel again in your life. You will feel better than someone you know who is generally super happy all the time, without drugs, has felt at the best time in their life. Don't pretend that's not true. Denial is not the answer. As much as it's hard to accept, the way to convince yourself not to do drugs is that even though you will never feel that good again, feeling pretty happy and good much of the time is way more important and, ultimately, fulfilling than feeling insanely good for those short periods of time.

You can't just get rid of the high. You have to replace it with something. For me, exercise is fantastic (I think exercise is especially important if you have ADHD). I have lost 35-40 lbs since I quit drugs. I won't pretend that the best exercise endorphin high compares to the best Focalin high. But it's good. And you feel better about yourself as a person. I promise. Because you did it with your own free willpower.

Here's the takeaway. Focally is good, really good, no doubt. But it's best to try at "real life," even if you fail. Focalin, any kind of speed, is temporary, and you feel so s***ty afterward. And despite that, you will do it again and again and again. Just remind yourself that it is only brain chemicals that are making you feel that way. My favorite phrase (steal it if you must) is that it is a "filet of dopamine with a garnish of norepinephrine."

If you are drawn to Focalin, you may, like me, be highly prone to depression. But just try to keep fighting any other way you know how. No drug can substitute for a great relationship, for a human connection. I still wouldn't sacrifice anything for my relationship with my girlfriend. I love her far more than anything else, and despite my Focalin and other BS, despite the fact that she is extremely anti-drug, she stayed with me -- long-distance -- and is still with me. She gave me another chance even though I didn't deserve it. Life will give you another chance even when you don't deserve it.

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53

I quit cold turkey.. it's more than a week past now, my nerves are shot and my body hurts. I went through a mental break. Your body and brain are going to be fighting through tricks feeling or thinking you are dying. It's probably not a good idea cold turkey, but I did it. The doc said to taper. I didn't, I don't trust my doc. I told him I'm an addict, he put me in focalin, Iate almost the whole bottle 2nd week in. I'm doing better now, but tapering was probably the way to go. Good luck to those in this stuff, it's not for everyone, especially the highly addictive. Tell your doctor's if you are so you can get the right treatment or else you are forever chasing your tail.

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54

Hey Dave can you tell me more?like is that only thing you are addicted too, and do you have emotional problems like depression, anxiety. I take Vyvanse daily I abused adderall a good while, but I am x opiate addict 11 years, my psychiatrist knows, but I don't know how yours is, mine would only do it if mother came in and took responsibility for meds, been back on ADHD treatment 3 years been off pain meds 7 years, I also take Klonopin,1mg 3 times a day, Vyvanse 60mg , Zoloft 50mg , and I'm on Suboxone for opiate addiction, I know it doesn't sound like I'm doing any better but I haven't been this stable in a long time. I am 37 my mom brings meds every day. Got to do whatever you can where you stop abusing. Tell me more about your addiction

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55

James Tilley, your Mom ROCKS! Off topic but I just wanted to add that. Sprocket, wow, you've really been through the ringer haven't you? Hang in there kiddo. I think just sayin "I'm addicted" out loud is SUCH a big step. It takes balls, proves you're brave. If it hasn't happened already, one day you're gonna wake up and think "I won't abuse any controlled substance ever again". It's a true awakening, no joke at all. I hope you're doing allright since your last post where I got the vibe you were still in withdrawal. It takes a lot longer to feel free from that kind of thing than any Dr knows. Unless they've been through it themselves which would be quite rare indeed. Take care of yourself!!

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56

It has been a while since I posted but looking back it seems like people keep looking at a focalin addiction as a narrow view of a larger problem. I first posted cause i started taking meds for my add in 7th grade. To be clear I do have learning disorders and I do have add. Public schools failed me and i was directed to private school which fortunate my parents could afford so my prescriptions were not for no reason i do have add. However once I began adding focalin, it started slow with my need to take it before doing something of importance. Then it escalated to abusing the meds. At this point I would do it in-between classes, at work, out at night at bars, basically all the time. It did get to a point where I was hallucinating, and paranoid. i would recognize i was hallucinating but had no control to stop what was happening. At the same time i would get waves of depression. I dont blame the meds, its my own responsibility but I did become addicted to coke on my journey. The need became overwhelming and it consumed me, It convinced me that i needed it before i could become myself and before I could come forward with my real self and thoughts. In reality it meant that I had to be taking coke or focalin and often a mix of the two, in order to get up and function through the day. This led to a lack of sleep with only a few hours every 3 days or so. I am doing better now with zero coke use, but i still struggle with the use of add medications. Its a battle i hide from my family. So the struggle of what I can do and who i am, vs. what meds i need to be who i am is something i deal with personally. My life has shown me that any parent looking into this for their child needs to do so with extreme caution. The medication has drastically altered my life and interactions with my parents. Also the side effects become blurred with who you are and what they make you very quickly

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57

I'm currently in college as a freshman and started taking focalin my senior year of hs. It helps so much but I know I'm addicted to it. I don't know what to do.

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58

I'm Andrew, and my girlfriend's son is being prescribed focalin for focusing in school, he is only 8 years old, I am extremely concerned about his well being experimenting with this stimulant. How can it even be legal to prescribe a narcotic drug to minors?

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59

Addiction is not a disease. And I am sick of people saying that. I have a disease that I have never caused. I have no choice and I have horrendous pain everyday. I never chose to consume anything to get it. Calling addiction a disease Is a copout for making better choices!

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60

Hi I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM, however, I am now on xanax (I KNOW ANOTHER DRUG) soooooo what at least when i take a piece I CALM down and craving goes away!!! YOU are AWESOME for your honesty and i bet you are the BEST attorney congrats. I am in nursing so thank GOD i do NOT SIT!! I find adderall is better. I am not so jittery although i am sick, been nauseous every day I take this, and with adderall i am NOT!!?? My suggestion is to get a TEMPORARY RX of a benzo, (xanax, adavan, klonopin, or valium) to bring you down slowly and then cravings go away.. TO JUST Stop on your own is not only NEXT to impossible without committing a felony lol jk or come down slow and STOP!!! i hope I did not give you another addiction, trust me if you are liking that UP feeling you will NOT get addicted to benzos. No fun sleeping!!! IT SAVED ME. I HOPE IT SAVES U. I LIKE ADDERALL MUCH BETTER XXOO

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