Need To Find A Dr. In Hemet, Ca To Prescribe Xanax (Page 2)

Ok, I'll try to make this long story as short at possible. Really short version: My primary has been giving me 1mg of Xanax 3x a day for nearly two years and won't fill it any longer because of the DEA. I'm prescribed 2mg of Subutex a day from my psychiatrist. When I take my Subutex, I break it into quarter doses, so I take 1/4 of a Subutex tablet 4 x a day, sometimes less. Originally, I rarely took the full 2.5mg. My psychiatrist or "p-doc" as I'll call him from this point, won't prescribe me Xanax because it's a CNS depressant (and it is). I'm OK getting the Subutex, but my p-doc won't prescribe both. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar II for about 18 years, but had it at least since 1994. I've also been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and most recently Severe Panic Disorder although they've also said Severe Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Frankly, I fit both descriptions. I need a doctor badly to prescribe me Xanax, here in Hemet, CA. I have enough until April 1, 2018. Worst April Fool's joke ever to suddenly be cut off of Xanax CT. It's very dangerous for that to happen as you know. Ok, so back in '94 when I started having what I now can see is a combo of severe anxiety and panic attacks, my mom in desperation gave me two 5.5mg Hydrocodone. I'd never taken opiates before and prior to that I had only drank a handful of times and only tried cannabis once or twice. I never needed or nor wanted to "get into drugs or party or feel high", I just wanted relief and was not aware that the Vicodin was what was helping me until a day or so later when the intense panic and fear set it. Just to reiterate, my anxiety did NOT come from drug withdrawal or anything else. I can't stand alcohol and cannabis to this day. I can't stand the taste of alcohol and it doesn't really help, and cannabis just makes me more depressed for some reason. So, I ended up started self-medicating for 7 1/2 years. I finally got off Vicodin after several attempts, even going to rehab twice. I ended up quitting on my on and was taking 20 Vics a day, no joke and stopped CT. The reason I was able to do this was because I had my first Hypo-Manic episode that lasted for about 9 months straight. I've never had one that lasted that long since. This was back in 2009. I ended up on Suboxone for a while, 2.5mg and after about 2 years it wasn't working as well, so I was put on Subutex since I was no longer abusing drugs. It worked great for a few years. I went off and on Subutex because I wanted to get off all drugs, but I just felt better on Subutex. I told my p-doc a couple years prior to this happening that I felt that Subutex was helping with my Bipolar depression. He dismissed it and said it wasn't made for that. Well, there are tons of medications that have off-label usage. Anyway, as you know Buprenorphine (the active ingredient in Suboxone and Subutex) was approved by the FDA recently to treat depression. Not that I took pretty much all anti-depressants from Lithium, Prozac, Welbutrin, Trintellex...none of them worked. I also took mood stabilizers, Depacote, Seroquel...etc. I kept asking the doctor for help. Then, Subutex started not working as well. It started with join pain, cold sweats....ya know, withdrawal symptoms. I was told to up my dose. I did and it made it much worse. So I backed off and took less which worked for a while, but then got worse...much worse. I started having breathing problems, which are indicative of Subutex when you are going off of it and/or going through withdrawals, which isn't uncommon, but should only last a couple weeks at most. The thing is, this would happen when I ended up taking 3 doses a day. To be clear, that's three 1/4 doses, 3 x a day so I took a total of 1.75mg a day. My breathing got even worse and I was having chest pains, feeling I was going to die. I went to the ER a couple of times, which they found nothing. Prior to that I was given 0.25mg of Xanax to take twice a day, but I stopped it because it seemed to do nothing. My panic attacks starting lasting from hours to days to up to two weeks straight. Yes, I'm talking 24/7 prolonged panic attack. It did NOT stop for as long as two weeks, but during that time, it would get a little better, but it never fully went away. The fear was intense and it felt like I had to manually breathe to get enough air. I finally went off the Subutex completely convinced it was that. The breathing problem didn't start until I went back on the Subutex after I quit just because I wanted to get off everything. So I was off almost everything for 3 months straight and it only got worse. My p-doc said the Subutex should have left my system a month off of it. I didn't take any opiates or anything else after I stopped. Something else though. Before I completely stopped, I asked for a few days supply of Methadone. I never took it, but was having a horrible time withdrawing when I was tapering. I tapered off the Sub for a month. Strangely, the Methadone caused the exact same reaction as the Subutex or actually worsened it, and when I had tried a Vicodin, it did the same thing. It's like my body became allergic to opiates?! Backtracking a bit, while I was off the Subutex, I was desperate and I demanded to try ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy). It was my idea, not his. It may sound crazy, but when you're having panic attacks that last for days to a week normally, it's suddenly not so crazy because you're willing to try anything to make the anxiety and breathing problems go away....real or in my head. My PulseOx usually came back Ok, but sometimes I'd be in the low 90's, which shows a physiological response...........to something? I was also put on blood pressure medication. Propranolol 10mg, originally once a day, but it was the ONLY thing that helped my breathing, so I got it up to 3 x a day. It's a beta blocker too, so it makes sense, it would work. OK, FF to 3 months later, I went to the doctor...I was usually there about every week and I never asked for any controlled substance. All I wanted was to breathe normally and not to feel like I was going to die most of the time! My BP that day go up to 177/129, the highest it had ever been, but it dropped back down about an hour before my appointment. I told them, but brought my BP cuff in to show them. The doctor I saw there was having a bad day or maybe he was just a jerk because all I wanted was a referral to the Pulmonologist....that's it. I just came in there all the time because nothing they gave me helped. The doctor refused to look at my BP cuff because it wasn't "certified", but my wife is a CNA and she confirmed my BP at t he time. Anyway, he refused to look at it and refused to give me a referral to a Pulmonologist. I asked another doctor before and they did too. Oh...btw, prior to that, 3 months to the day I started taking Subutex again. At first it got better....MUCH better, my breathing was basically normal for a couple days, but then started getting worse again and the tight chest, squeezing heart feeling, trouble breathing nearly constantly. So back to the doctor. I was frustrated and since he wouldn't grant me a referral to the Pulmonologist out of desperation I asked for Xanax, but I asked for a 1mg dose. I didn't think it would work but just trying something I hadn't tried, a higher dosage. I had thrown most of drugs away, I was pissed convinced it was this drug or that. So he ended up giving me a prescription for 0.5mg of Xanax, twice a day. I picked it the next day and took one, not thinking it would work at all because nothing else did and to my massive surprise I started feeling better within a few minutes. I thought it was a fluke because I've started feeling better before out of the blue. I took it another one the next time I took a 1/4 dose along with 0.5mg Xanax. It helped again and I started feeling better, but only about 50% better, which is amazing, but still not good enough to live! So I went back to the doctor a month or two later and finally got them to up my dose to 1mg 3x a day and that was the sweet spot. I could take more Xanax than that, but found I felt too sluggish and my goal was not to get high, but to "offset" the apparent affects the Subutex was giving me. Before when I took a Subutex, mentally, it would help but my breathing got worse. The further away from the dose I took, the better my breathing was...at least temporarily. So, I lived with the Subutex problem for about 1 1/2 before I found that a higher dosage of Xanax worked. So here we are. I finally found the solution and now they're going to take it away. If there was another medication that worked, I'd welcome it, but I have tried EVERY SINGLE medication they have mentioned to me so far. That said, I'm trying Gabapentin again. I tried it years ago and promptly dumped it because it was giving me auditory and visual hallucinations....something akin to schizophrenia. I don't hear or see things. I've had that happened to me with two medications. The other was Seroquel, and it was with mostly high dosages, but it helped me sleep so I took it. I went off that one too, while ruling out which medications was causing the problem. So, I've been taking this dose of Xanax for nearly two years, and I seriously CANNOT believe they are taking it away after looking into everything. I mean, I did ECT for this, which BTW, DID NOT work either. The only thing it did was give me temporary memory loss and the only good thing is it seemed to boost my IQ. That's great, but I'd trade the 15 to 20 IQ boost over having the ability to breathe normally in a heartbeat. If anyone has any ideas, PLEASE HELP! I tried going to a pain management doctor and they won't give Xanax under ANY circumstance. It seems my only option is a psychiatrist and I'm afraid of going to someone else because I'll probably lose my Subutex. I imagine that will happen at some point anyway, but before all this, Subutex/Buprenorphine was the only medication that helped me. I don't believe the Gabapentin will help, but it's been a long time since I've taken it and my body has changed, so maybe it will. What pisses me off though is, they'll give me Vistiril....as much as I want. I had that before and it did nothing but make me a little tired and then my body adapted to it and it didn't even do that. It's just an antihistamine, a prescription Benadryl if you will and what pisses me off is their excuse is Benzos are CNS depressants...well guess what, so is Vistiril along with other medications they'll give you. I also take Ambien ER. Gee, Ambien is also a CNS depressant. I even said, look, if I have to I'll go without the Ambien ER, just please give me the Xanax with the same dosage. Again, I need help, I'm TERRIFIED of going through what I went through again. Without the Xanax, I won't be able to take the Subutex, because the breathing problem will come back. Thanks in advance and sorry for the long story.

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Re: Mason (# 20)

Yeah, I was given either Haldol or Thorazine once. I can't remember which. Anyway, they have very similar side effects like Tardive Dyskinesia....involuntary facial or body movements. There have been instances where this side effect can cause permanent damage to the brain from taking...sorry, forced upon you. They did that to me because I left ER after taking a few sleeping tablets. I wasn't trying to kill myself, but my friend thought I was. I left, he was with me. They stalled me. I could have gotten away, but I was stupid. I swear, they sent half the Police after me. I wasn't a threat to anyone, yet they took me down and dogpiled me with at least 4 officers and it could have been as much as 8. I'm not sure...probably 4 to 6. As bad as all that was, It was exhilarating too because I'm a 2nd degree BB in TKD and I'd never tried my skills in a real fight. I only used defensive techniques and my God, they worked. It's REALLY hard to get away from people without hurting them at all, but I did, twice. This was impressive because I was out of shape at the time, badly...groggy from the sleeping pills and yet I managed very well against the police, the first and only time I had a run-in like that. I was able to break free from two different cops, one after the other. They tried to subdue me like you see in the movies at first. One at a time and that's why I was able to escape temporarily. Now if I had been the type of person to fight back at any cost, I still would have been caught obviously. I was outnumbered at least 4:1, but I know I could have taken at least a couple of them down, but I didn't want to hurt anyone, but they wanted to hurt me. I remember them telling the others, be careful, he's a kicker. Uh yeah, let's see no history of violence....EVER and they actually hog-tied me to the vehicle. I told the officer, what's with all the warnings. I mean they acted like I was some sort of serial killer...and BTW, I was never arrested, but they took me to Riverside California's wonderful mental facility where they promptly pumped me full of Haldol or Thorazine and I had Tardive Dyskinesia for a couple days, which was completely unnecessary, because I was fully compliant after my capture.

So no thanks to those drugs, unless you like to sit in one place and drool for hours from being forced to take one of those drugs, which are in a class called Neuroleptics. It's possible to develop permanent brain damage from even one shot. Fortunately, I was OK, but others might not be so lucky. I remember the Dyskinesia was very unpleasant too!

Here's a report from 2000 from the "Alliance For Human Research Protection", but there are plenty of other articles that talk about the dangers of using Neuroleptic drugs. ahrp.org/evidence-of-neuroleptic-drug-induced-brain-damage-in-patients

I can understand having to use something like this as a last resort for violent patients, but I wasn't violent. I took great care not to hurt anyone, a courtesy not returned to me, but I was given a cut on the top outside right corner of my orbital socket. They dogpiled me, but then yelling at me to give them my arms. It's a bit of a small feat of strength to do when you have at least 4 or more people on your back.

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Re: w john (# 19)

I already said he didn't start it. What I said was he's making things worse! Stopping meds from dealers and ppl who use them (opiates, Benzos or anything else that gives a euphoric effect and most of all addictive) does need to be controlled, but most people who sell these drugs aren't getting them from the doctor's. That said, yeah, these drugs were given out like candy, but some people need them and taking them away isn't going to much to drug dealers. In fact, you're helping them. People addicted to these drugs are just going to seek dealers out.

My specific problem is I've tried soooooo many drugs by way of prescription from my doctors and so far none of them work, save 2 and possibly a third I'm evaluating now. Propranolol works, Xanax works and Gabapentin might replace Xanax....not sure yet. It's hard to say until I'm completely off Xanax.

But Gabapentin might not be available for long..at least it may become a scheduled drug as well. As I said before, it already has in Kentucky. It's NOT fair when someone like myself does get off drugs (Vicodin in my case), and taking drugs responsibly and then have some issue where one of my drugs...actually the ONLY one that was helping started not only not working correctly, but gave me the opposite effect and so for a year and a half I spend looking for something to help. The doctors don't help, but I do find help in a last ditch effort in Xanax. I took it responsibly like my other meds for 9 1/2 years after I stopped Vicodin. Then, they take away the ONE drug that helps me. Then I'm told my psychiatrist should be the one giving it to me. Ok, I understand, but he won't and honestly, I think he's doing it partly to cover his butt, so he doesn't get sued and the other part might be out of spite because I went around his back. I did go to him and ask when I first started taking it and he said no. He states these examples of the celebs who've taken Xanax and opiates and died. I've said all this before, but maybe you missed it? These celebs are doing a few things different that myself. For one, I'm not taking other opiates or ANY other drugs from anyone and most of these people didn't just die from taking their prescribed amount either, because they were abusing them, I'm not and my bloodwork and U/A's confirm this. To know how much pain I went through before I found Xanax. I was in doctors offices on a weekly basis and I wasn't there seeking drugs, I was there looking to solve the problem. I wasn't asking for drugs and never did until that last visit with that one doctor who refused to give me a referral to the pulmonologist. The man wouldn't even look at my blood pressure cuff, because "they're not certified" and apparently I needed a "certified device". I guess my wife who is a CNA and works at the hospital doesn't count. It was B.S. So I just said "f" it, uh, can you give me Xanax. I didn't think it would work, because I already had a prescription for 0.25mg and it did NOTHING for me. I never thought to take two of them, but then I was being responsible. So, to my great surprise, it worked.

So my psychiatrist knows what I went through and yet knowing that, Xanax help me and I was so close to suicide before or eventually probably a heart attack because my BP was always so high, which now I know was due to a severe panic disorder I had. Once I started taking Xanax, everything went back to normal....well close enough and now they're taking away the one drug that helped me..well one of the 3 drugs that help me.

What do you think will happen if this Gabapentin doesn't work? It's going to pick up where it left off and I will die from either suicide or heart attack, stroke. You can stay in an elevated state of severe anxiety for prolonged periods and just be fine!

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Re: w john (# 17)

Modafanil - I was put on that med and for me it's worthless, didn't help at all if I recall. I did have side effects from it. I know it is very expensive and had to fight insurance to get it and I went back to taking 2 energy shots a day as they worked better than
Modafanil.

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myst (# 21) --

Modafanil is NOT worthless. Maybe for you but it works fine for me. This is another instance where the brand is far superior to the generics in my opinion. I have taken both and I found out Provigil is better than the generic Modafanil. I have 4 years of experience to form my opinion on. I don't know what strength you were given but I am given 200 mg twice a day. If you are looking for a substance to give you a buzz like an "adrenaline drug" (which I refused because it is nothing but pharmaceutical speed and it is highly addictive to most taken over time) you would not like Modafanil. This is non addictive and there is no "wired" feeling. It wakes me up and allows me to function just fine. If I miss a dose I have no withdrawal symptoms. Works fine for me.

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Re: w john (# 24)

I was hoping to stay awake and not fall asleep. I have MS and it did not combat the fatigue that wears me down. Energy shots do not give a buzz type feeling either but I stay awake after drinking them. When I took Modafanil I could not stay awake through a tv show if I was sitting down. For some reason if I eat I fall asleep and was hoping the med would prevent that, but it didn't for me.

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Re: myst (# 25)

Sorry it does not work for you. It works fine for me. "Energy shots" are heavily caffeinated and they work short term but they are followed by a crash. I drank these things by the six pack because I had to stay awake to do my job everyday. Once I got the Modafanil prescription I was able to keep alert for hours on two pills a day with no "caffeine jitters".

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Re: Shelley (# 6)

For most people, I would agree as it would kill them, but there are two reasons why I was taking both. #1, as mentioned before, I take it to breathe normally and not suffer from severe panic attacks from the side effect of Buprenorphine. I don't know what happened, but my body changed and now Buprenorphine caused severe breathing problems. It never used to do this and for a time, I was somewhat happy. Something changed, what I don't know, but no doctor knows. I tried all their drugs they told me to try and nothing worked. I even demanded ECT (Electro-Convulsive Therapy) because I was so desperate for something to work. I wasn't even looking for drugs (controlled substances) to fix this, in fact I stopped all drugs at one point, trying to find the culprit. #2, the only breathing problems I had before that was directly related to Seroquel. Of course my doctor told me it shouldn't do that. Well, young healthy people shouldn't get cancer or diabetes, but they do. As soon as I reduced the dosage of the Seroquel dramatically, my breathing problems went away. Also, those breathing problems were different than the ones I have related to Buprenorphine. I didn't get panic attacks with Seroquel unless I was sleeping and I awoke to choking, but as soon as my throat opened up, I could breathe.

Seroquel is a CNS depressant and in high dosages, even if you don't take ANY other drug with it, it can be deadly. I should know, I almost died a few times because of it. In high dosages, Seroquel relaxes the Uvula and Epiglottis so much that it can literally close if excess saliva goes into your lungs....I'm guessing it closed, I must have swallowed where the saliva goes into the stomach, but did not switch back to open my airway and on a few occassions, one in particular, my body woke me up because when I tried to breathe, I could neither inhale or exhale. The Uvula and Epiglottis was stuck and would not allow open. You talk about fear! I'm sure everyone has choked on something before briefly and even for a moment, it can be scary, but imagine if that were to happen, but you got no air and the more your struggle, the tighter it seemed to stick. I learned that no matter how much I felt like I was going to die, the key was to relax and very slowly inhale a very small amount and then cough as hard as I could and that would coax it open, but even after I did that, it was as if there was saliva that had either entered my lungs or maybe I swallowed a bunch of saliva. Anyway, that one time in particular I was asleep in the afternoon, my inlaws were here and I was close to open the door and was going to motion to call 911. That day in particular I remember well because after I woke up, I stood up, waiting to get a little air, but it was much worse, I went into the bathroom and saw my lips turning blue and I felt myself starting to pass out. I coughed as hard as I could and it helped a little, but then when I tried to breathe, it was if I had swallowed a bunch of water. I couldn't get any air. Later my son told me that my brother and sister in law heard me and was wondering if I needed help. My son apparently told them...naw, it's Ok, this happens to him all the time. It did, but nothing like that.

Anyway, I determined it was the Seroquel and after I lowered it down to 100mg, I was fine, but when I had constant breathing problems, I decided to stop it completely and it took me a year to wean myself off that medication.

As far as Xanax doing this....nope, not one time, in fact when I tried Xanax long ago, but wasn't taking any opiates, but was taking a lot of Xanax at once combined with sleeping tablets, even that did nothing to my breathing and I would take 5mg at a time with maybe two sleeping tablets. Now, I know I wasn't taking opiates, but I think that was a little dangerous and yet no breathing problems.

The Xanax I'm taking now, tapering now, but before I only took 1mg at a time and yes I took it with 1/4 of a 2mg tablet. That's how I took my Subutex/Buprenorphine and my doctor knew it.

So, if I could have found ANY drug, as long as it helped me breathe, I would have taken it. Propranolol does work, but I can only take so much of it and I do take it, but it alone is not enough. SOMETHING in my body changed and that's what I'd love to know! The problem is, no doctor believes that Buprenorphine can do this. I don't understand why they can't grasp this, because they know breathing problems and panic attacks can be a side effect from withdrawal.

The thing is, I believe I know that Buprenorphine is the cause. I just can't bring myself to willingly go through that hell again, unless I'm forced too and it looks like that's going to happen very soon. If I could go back to when I went off Buprenorphine on my own, before the breathing problems started, I believe I would be fine, in terms of breathing and panic attacks. To be clear, I went off Buprenorphine a couple times before the last one because I just wanted to get off all the drugs, but the 2nd to the last time, had I remained off, I believe I would have been OK. I just craved how the Buprenorphine made me feel like. I wouldn't say I was high, I'd say I felt....normal. When I was off of it then, I wasn't past withdrawals, I was going through PAWS still, but I could have dealt with it. Had I known this was going to happen, I would have never gone back on.

The problem now is, the last time I went off, the panic disorder went away and while I'm pretty sure, almost 100% positive the Subutex is the problem.....to go through that pain again....I'll have to be forced off because I can't take 3 months of panic attacks straight and maybe longer. As I said in my original post, I think I unknowingly prolonged it by taking Kratom and Imodium. I kept it from leaving my system. Even though neither one of those drugs is an opiate, it acts upon the same receptors. I'm pretty sure I have PTSD from it and I'm terrified to go through that again!

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Re: Mtngirl (# 1)

I believe I put in my first post that I've tried every drug they've thrown at me. I still have the same psychiatrist, but he usually just stares at the computer and sometimes won't even look at you. This is not a one sided story either. I've been in the waiting room and heard many ppl talk about this doctor I go to say what I'm telling you now. And so you ask, why not change doctors. Well, before, it was because he was one of a very few select that could write Subutex. More can write it now, but I question whether they would now, with this "War on Opiates" as Trump puts it. I'd really like to get off Subutex, but I've just got one small problem. I'm one of those people who are resistant to most medications. If you haven't heard of this, look it up. The ONLY reason I took Xanax was because of the breathing. I tried Xanax before and HATED it! If someone can find something that will allow me be to breathe, I'd be sooooo happy.

As far as trusting my doctor....well, let's just say I've learned that they don't know nearly as much as you'd think. It's not just me, and I'm no doctor but I've diagnosed quite a few things from seeing labs and by what the person has said. The result...the doctor said the same thing I did but I diagnosed it first and most of the time I've called it. Granted, I'm not talking about some neurological disease or cancer....nothing like that, but I can spot a Stap infection, MRSA, torn meniscus in a knee. That last one, I diagnosed before an MRI was taken and even said I thought he might have Arthritis too. The only thing I missed was he had bone spurs. Everything else was spot on.

I'm really not this cocky S.O.B. I'm a person whose been forced to "be the doctor" because my doctor(s) haven't been. My psychiatrist gave me bad advice on going off Seroquel and I could name other stuff. The ONLY reason I'm with him now is to have someone to write me a prescription for Subutex. You might be asking...if I know so much, why can't I "diagnose" my problem. Well, I'm not a doctor, but then no other doctors can diagnose it either. Actually, I take that back, I'm pretty sure the Subutex is the problem and as I said in an earlier post I'm terrified to go off of it again. Not only that, no other medications have helped me, except for Subutex and Vicodin. I'm obviously NOT going on back on Vicodin again. I even saw a neuropsychiatrist at UCLA that I can't say couldn't help me, but rather wouldn't help me. The doctors I've usually seen are either too lazy, arrogant....uh...yeah...that's about it. I would say busy too and they are, but some patients need special care and if you knew what I faced, you'd understand that I REALLY need help, but no one will. So, I found something that's working and that's why I desperately wanted to keep it.

If a doctor can give me something that isn't a controlled substance, great...AWESOME. I'm not concerned about that. Remember, when the breathing problems got real bad, I went off ALL my meds to figure out the problem and I was prepared to stay off Subutex. I'd rather breathe and be so so, vs taking Subutex, maybe feel sort of good sometimes, but most of the time have trouble breathing.

Show me a doctor who will help me and I'll listen! I do know they're out there, I just can't seem to find one!

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Re: Sithtiger (# 18)

BTW, when you cite a link to a rag that is as partisan a rag as "newsweak" you only show your true agenda. Trying to blame President Trump and his administration for this so called "opioid" problem does nothing but detract from the real problem which is being fueled by BOTH parties. Find another forum for your political rants. This thread is NOT it.

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Re: lagriff (# 4)

Thanks lagriff for pointing that out to everyone! I've got good news sort of across the board. First of all, Gabapentin works great for Xanax withdrawals; however, it also has another side effect, which is both good and bad. The bad part of it is that it also blocks the Buprenorphine, which helps with my BiPolar depression.

So I found another 'source' for my Xanax. I won't go into where I'm getting it, but I will say I'm not buying it from a drug dealer or buying it from anyone. With that in mind, this is a temporary solution. This could last anywhere from one month to 2 or 3 years+. At least I know that Gabapentin actually helps me!

So, I'm no longer worried about that, but I am worried about the Buprenorphine situation. If I ever have to change doctors....and that's really not an if, but when, I doubt very seriously whatever new doctor I get won't prescribe me Subutex, even though I'm taking it as prescribed exactly! Many doctors would say Buprenorphine was originally designed to wean people off opiates....HARD opioids, like Heroin, OxyContin....etc. You know what....they are absolutely right.

Buprenorphine is made so well that (at least in my case) I have no desire whatsoever to take any other opioids! Unfortunately, what makes it so good is the same thing that makes it bad. It has a long half-life and so it is literally TORTURE to get off of it! I feel like I've said this before hear and I'm sorry if I have. I've just been trying for so long, since '94 to find the right medication and "Opioids" were not on the menu in the beginning. I wasn't looking for any drugs for that matter. I just wanted to make whatever was making me hurt (psychologically) so much to just stop. So Buprenorphine has been approved for patients with clinical depression and BiPolar depression; however I must point out that the medications specifically made for this, are not JUST comprised of Buprenorphine, but a combo of an antidepressant and Bupe. The NAABT or The National Alliance of Advocates For Buprenorphine Treatment need to update their site. Back in 2007, they state how Subutex and Suboxone have ONLY been approved for weaning a person off strong opioids, which it was of course. That changed, however, in 2011, when the FDA approved 2 or 3 drugs that obtain Buprenorphine/ combined with an antidepressant.

The FDA that approved Buprenorphine (Subutex) or Buprenorphine with Naloxone (Suboxone) has been approved for low dose Buprenorphine combined with an antidepressant. When I say low dose, one of the Buprenorphine based antidepressants and most, if not all of them have only 0.2 to 1.6 mg/d. The higher end of the drug is around what I take.

I'm getting OT though. I really want to get off Subutex and Xanax. The Buprenorphine based antidepressant might be something I'd look into because the Subutex/Buprenorphine isn't doing the job. Oh, it's MUCH better than nothing, but far from perfect. These Buprenorphine based antidepressants are specifically for people with treatment or medication-resistant depression.

So, anyway, since it looks like I have the Xanax situation covered, I still don't have the Buprenorphine covered. I need an antidepressant that allows me to feel joy and a side effect of Buprenorphine is that it constricts your pupils, which cause your vision to sharpen. If you wear glasses or contacts, you've probably done this before. If you curl your index finger down into your thumb and make a tiny hole to look through, without your glasses or contacts in, you'll notice things are sharper. Well, Subutex does this as well as other opioids. It makes a huge difference in my eyesight. I need another med, something benign to do the same thing.

So, at least when the Xanax is gone, I should be OK, but I don't know about the Subutex. Oh well, I'll deal I'll deal with it when the time comes.

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