How To Get Off Suboxone Successfully - Step By Step (Page 7)
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If you are struggling with getting off Suboxone successfully, you may want to take the time to read this. I have read a ton of hype about Suboxone being impossible to get off. How the withdrawal symptoms carry on for days, even months. Below, I would like to encourage you and let you know that it can be done. I AM LIVING PROOF YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH THIS FEAT!!! I have been free of Suboxone and all other drugs and alcohol for 3 months and I have never felt better in my life!!!

THE WAY THAT SUCCESS HAPPENED FOR ME AND CAN HAPPEN FOR YOU:

For months I read Suboxone blog sites in the effort to gather some element of hope that would encourage me to make the “jump” to get off my final 1/8 tab (1mg) of Suboxone. At the point I started reading these blog sites, I had come down from 2.5- 8 mg (total 20 mg) tablets of Suboxone. It was fairly easy to get down to 1/8 tab (1 mg). Don't get me wrong, I had moments of mood swings and depression that would fool me because of the way that the mood swings would creep up on me. I felt bipolar during the final ½ tablet to ¼ tablet and finally to 1/8th tablet before I “Jumped off”: The good news is that earlier dose decreases do not affect you as much as you would think. I went from 2.5 tablets to 2.0 tables per day in one week. I didn't even notice any withdrawal. Then, in just two weeks I had the courage to go down to 1.5 tablets per day…. Still, only slight mood swings. Then, I went down to 1 tablet per day a week later. Then 3 weeks later I went down to ½ tablet per day. Again, at this point only mild mood swings that I could deal with because I was expecting much worse. NOTE: I ALWAYS DIVIDED THE DOSES TO AM / PM DOSES.. IT HELPED.

THE BEGINNING OF THE CHALLENGING PART:

Going from ½ to ¼ tablet per day it started to get a little tougher for the first week in terms of mood swings and a tricky onset of depression. Expect bipolar behavior. Tell your family and whoever is in your life if you can. Let them know that they can pray for you if you or they are believers in God. If you don't believe in God, don't stop reading this posting.. I will get to the Spiritual side of things later in this posting. For now, it is my heart and hope that you will read this method of getting off Suboxone. No punches held though, I will be up front with you, I am personally a believer in the one true God- Jesus Christ. He is the One who encouraged me to get on this website and help you with encouragement, hope and truth about what to expect on this tough, but wonderful journey of getting off Suboxone. The choice to believe in God is yours, but I will say that the prayers of my dad and wife were powerful and effective. There was times when I simply could not pray for myself because I didn't feel sane enough to even pray at times, though I still gave it my best. I brought up the prayers right now for you because the bible tells us in Psalm 145:18-19 "The Lord is near to all who call on Him; all who call on Him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him. He hears their cry and He saves them". That said, let's begin the final jump shall we.

THE FINAL JUMP FROM 1/8 TABLET:

NOTE REGARDING SUPPLEMENTS: I wish that BEFORE I jumped off at 1/8 tablet, I would have used these endorphin boosting supplements. They can be found at just about any health food store. DLPA 1000 mg twice per day, GABA 500 Mg twice per day, Reloria two capsules twice per day, and 5HTP two capsules per day. I would have been better off to have started these supplements a couple of weeks prior to my final jump, but I strongly believe that they helped the process probably more that I could imagine. I am still on these supplements, now some 3 months off Suboxone. (I am not a doctor, nor am I acting in the role of a doctor, so as always please consult a physician prior to starting these supplements)

When I was on 1/8 tablet for 2 weeks I tried to completely stop taking Suboxone and had such a bad first night that it scared me into staying on 1/8 tablet per day, taken in the morning, for 2 months. The problem now lay in the fact that I was going through withdrawal in the middle of the day and a few times I even chose to drink alcohol in the afternoon. I didn't connect that the withdrawal was actually causing my fiending for drugs and alcohol. Those two months were not good times for me. When I finally came to the conclusion that I might be better off just getting off Suboxone completely, it was time to plan. I work for myself and I could hardly afford to take the time off work for fear that I might lose all my clients. I wasn't sure how long it would take to get off Suboxone and get back to a working state of mind? Drum roll please…. Here is how long it takes to start feeling better….

IT TAKES 6 DAYS BEFORE YOU START FEELING BETTER THAN YOU EVER IMAGINED!!! DO NOT LISTEN TO ANY LIE!!!

What You Can Expect:

Day 1: This morning skipped my morning, and only dose of Suboxone. I worked out pretty hard lifting stretching and lifting light, high repetition weights. Don't forget to push yourself to work out even if you don't feel like it. It is hugely important! That night I took two Benedryl and it didn't work like I hoped it would. I was so miserable, achy body, cramping in my calves, a "drive a person crazy" kind of feeling. At this point I had gotten 2 mg tablets from the Dr. because I told her I needed to be able to cut them down while I weaned myself off of them. So I cut a 2 mg film tablet into ¼ which is .5 mg of Suboxone. In summary, I chickened out the first night. I did sleep after that for about 5 hours. For those of you who still have the 8 mg. tablets, this means that you would have to split one up into 1/16 which is pretty hard to do, but possible if you have good eyes and you don't cheat and take the bigger portion. :)

Day 2: The .5 mg from the night prior made this morning like a fairly normal morning. So I stretch for a long time and then worked out hard. After work out, I felt even better, but by afternoon the withdrawal set in again. Felt like I drank all kinds of coffee but I didn't . I was agitated and twitchy, making my mind and physical body feel terrible. To combat it, I stayed very busy all day with cleaning and yard work in the effort to keep my mind and body occupied. I couldn't focus on God yet…. My mind was too messed up. Yes, a person's mind can be too messed up to “feel” God, but trust me He was there with me. Hind sight I see that He was with me every step of the way. I just couldn't believe that He would let me go through such agony, but He is a God who loved me enough to let me feel the pain enough so that I would remember it. This way I would not go back!! Night came and I became scared that I would give in again, but instead about two hours before bed I took another couple Benedryl and this time it worked a little I slept about 4 hours and was miserable the rest. I recommend taking lots of warm baths or showers when you can't sleep, instead of just lying there.

Day 3: Day 3 and Day 4 are the worst. The greatest advantage you have though is that you are starting to get used to the twitchy, feeling like you are crawling out of your skin feeling. Go ahead and stretch your calves as frequently as you can. Flex them as often as possible. I heard from one doctor that it helps work the withdrawal out of your body. I did manage to get out in the yard and work on Day 3. I waited until I felt my best, then took advantage of the moment and went out and "spazzed out" on yard work as much as I could handle it. I even broke a sweat which lifted me up considerably. I took a couple of Benadryl before I went to bed, but only slept a total of about 2 hours the whole night. I couldn't focus enough to read, nor pray, nor watch a movie. None of that was going to happen, so I would either jump in the bath or shower or even find something to do I could tell that sleep was not an option. The first part of the morning on Day 4 is among the greatest challenges I have ever faced. Glad I did not have much planned, because Day 4 morning was the worst of the whole experience.

Day 4: Morning was awful because I was up the night before almost the whole night. That lack of sleep will mess with your head and try to get you to go back. On this day the middle of the day gave me a few very small ½ glimpses of hope. I felt my first surge of my own endorphins come back. Only a couple ½ hour spurts, but hey it gave me hope to NOT turn back. I figured I went this far, I might as well finish this.!! I thought I was going to sleep well this night, but it didn't happen…. Only 4 hours combined , but hey that was progress from the night before. Remember, baby steps. Celebrate the small victories. Relish them! Stay tuned and hang in there because the reward came to me in Day 5!!

Day 5: I worked out first thing in the morning. I pushed myself to do it. I started with a stretch routine. Then I felt like working out. So, try stretching first, then consider working out. I have in my notes 50/50 written down. This means that half the day I felt bad and half the day actually felt good. Did you hear that?…. I felt good. …. That is right … you can get past this. For half of Day 5 I felt better than I ever felt on Suboxone. It was natural and it was the way that God designed me to feel. My own endorphins made their first appearance and they showed up in fine fashion. The bad parts of this day caused me to want to take a nap, so if you have the liberty to do so, then by all means, indulge in that nap. Nap , nap , nap. Because if you answer the call to the mid day naps you will wake up feeling better each time. Don't worry about the extreme tiredness on day 5 and 6, just become a temporary nap person. Listen to you body and what it wants. God is trying to let you know what you need.

Day 6: Congratulations!! You have made it to the other side. I may have had 2 hours of bad feelings today , but the rest was AWESOME. I was productive, back to work, working out hard etc.

Day 7 and 8:

I am putting day 7 and 8 on here because I did hit some tired spells and down times but only a couple hours each day total. I encourage you to nap when you feel like napping. Also be encourage that it only gets better and better from here on out.

Why I Got Off Suboxone:

Everyone will have their reasons for getting off Suboxone. I can only share with you what my reasons were. If you have read this far then you must be pretty determined for your own reasons.

I started feeling like I was feinding for other drugs when I was on two " 8 mg tablets per day, so I asked my Dr. to increase the dose to 2.5 tablets per day. Two months later I started feinding for other drugs or alcohol again. So I asked my Dr. to up the dose to 3.0 tablets per day. Two months later I started feinding for other drugs, chew, alcohol etc. Are you starting to get the picture? This may not be the case for everyone, but it seemed to be the case for me. The whole purpose of Suboxone in the first place was to decrease these cravings and for a time, Suboxone was effective. It gave me enough time to get it through my head that I didn't want to be a heroin or pill addict anymore and that I wanted to get my life together.

Another reason that I decided to get off Suboxone was that I was also curious if it would feel better to just be on nothing? (Except the supplements that I mentioned above) The outcome that I came to is that I feel way better than I ever have in terms of physical, mental, and Spiritual well being.

THE TESTIMONY:

If you have read this far you may as well keep reading because the best part is yet to come. Remember, I am of the opinion that it was my faith in God that led me down this long and intricate road that I just described above called, "How To Get Off Suboxone " Successfully". God worked in ways that I never would have dreamed. I could have strategized all month long and never came up with the plan, method, or the outcome that God came up with. The Bible says in the book of Isaiah 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways my ways", says the Lord.

You may not believe in God, or maybe you do, or maybe you know God, but stopped believing. If you are one who is running away or does not believe in God, know this, drugs and alcohol can certainly fog your view of God. It is my opinion that first you must get clean and sober then you have a better chance of making an informed decision as to God's authenticity.

Whether you believe in God or not, you will one day face Him. Either he will be welcoming, or judging you. I have chosen to give Him my life and submit to everything that is written in the Bible. I accept it as truth. The bible says that the Word of God is Living and Active. It also says that every word within it is inspired NOT by man, but by God. I have chosen to believe this and it has changed the way I think. Romans 12:2 "Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

If this part of my testimony and experience sounds too Churchy to you, then at least do yourself a favor, … Ask God to help this "Christian talk" make sense to you. Seriously, have you even told Him that the "Churchy Stuff" makes NO sense to you? Have you even told Him that? Have you bothered to share that with Him? Do you know that He cares and wants to hear that come from your mouth? He wants to hear you humbly express to God that you don't know. Have you opened yourself up to the fact that if you open yourself up to Him that He will begin to show you the "mysteries" of His Word like you never imagined possible? 2 Chronicles 7:14 says, "If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from Heaven and will forgive their sins and heal their land."

If you have read this far then, then I believe that the Spirit of God is calling you…. Listen to it!!! Jesus states that "My sheep hear my voice"

The place where you are if you are reading this is not a comfortable place. I have been right where you are. With all sincerity, I want you to get to where I am. True Joy is in my heart every day that I awake. There is a peace that surpasses all understanding that guides me now. I strongly encourage you to seek God first, because I want to see the peace of God enter your heart and mind.

RELAPSE PREVENTION:

For me, I have found that devoting myself to praying and studying my Bible and reflecting on what God has done and what He promises has been life changing. The Bible says, "Who is going harm you if you are eager to do good" 1 Peter 3:13, It also says, "a prudent man foresees evil and hides himself" Proverbs 27:12

I have a half hour to 45 minutes carved out each morning to spend reading my bible, praying much thanks and reflecting on what the bible is saying. I also listen to J. Vernon McGee on Through The Bible .org the web address is ttb.org. You can't claim to not understand the Bible, because this website WITH AUDIO walks you through the Bible verse by verse in an exciting way. And it is FREE!! If you don't believe the Bible at this point, try listening to the Dr. J. Vernon McGee's audios. There is a new one posted every day. Or check out the archives.

CONCLUSION:

I do hope that you put some thought into all of this. If you can't think straight right now because you have already started your final descent off Suboxone, then wait until you feel good enough to really absorb what I just shared with you through the "Testimony" section of this posting. I am not trying to sell you on anything… I simply care for you because that is what God has put on my heart. I have been through what you are going through and I want to encourage you. I would like to leave you with this scripture:

Revelation 3:20

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.

May God Richly Bless Your Life.

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REPORT

Hi, I am on 8mg sub, a day. Ive been in recovery 15 years with a couple relapses. I am sick for a week or so then better and im not going down on my doses. My mind takes me to a weired place when I try to ween off. like a nightmare but i am awake.I have a relationship with JESUS . Sometimes I feel like I dont have the courage to ween off . Although I REally WANT TO BE CLEAN. I get too sick to work so thats another problem. I am going to the VA and see if I can get a DR to put me on Disability until I can get off this crap.( so I wont loose my job ) I need all the support I can get I am not finding much help even through the treatment center that helped me in the first place. Anything will help. Thanks Michael

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@Success story, I'm not dealing with Suboxone, but I stopped by because MedsChat sent me an email so I decided to pop in and see how everyone was progressing. Anyway, great post. Very encouraging. I pray that the seed you planted blessed everyone as much as it blessed me, and helped many get set free from the bondage that drugs like Suboxone can be when taken long term, for chronic pain.

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I wanted to post an update from my last post and share that I haven't quite made the jump to the 1/8 suboxone strip yet. I tried last week and I started feeling withdrawal in the middle of the day. I'm a stay at home mom to my 2 year old and I constantly have to be picking her up, preparing her meals, and of course providing her with fun activities to do throughout the days. It is a non stop 24/7 job. It's very difficult to be withdrawing and playing with her, when to be honest I would much rather be laying in bed for it sucks out all my energy. Fortunately, I went out this morning and bought the four supplements you mentioned and just took my first dose. One thing I wanted to mention was they didn't carry "Reloria" but instead "Relora"; I don't know if it was a typo or what but they said they didn't carry Reloria. I purchased them at the Vitamin Shoppe. It is listed as a mood booster so I figured that was it. And the people at the Vitamin Shoppe told me the Relora helps with Xanax withdrawal as well, just thought I'd mention it. Thank you for listing those, I truly hope they help with this process! I have 3 8/2 suboxone strips left and all the doctors in this area are SO pricy I can't even afford a visit. It looks like I'll be making this jump very soon, in order to make these 3 last. Wish me luck and thanks again!

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Your message and strategy are very sincere and heartfelt. Thank you-- i'm not in the place that you are yet or even close--pain and my brain are still consumed by controlling my pain. I have dabbled with suboxone (to fill a gap) & believe & can see that it genuinely can defeat wd & pain & perhaps allow some "brain healing" as you described the returning of your own endorphins really because with its longer half-life the urgency of that does every 4 to 6 hours of pills isnt there. I temporarily saw it acheive a miracle in a friend who was on long term pain management get off pills and for a short time get off subox -cutting the strips as you did etc--she was off sub for about 3 months (shes been on 3 years) but later confessed that she would take a microscopic sliver (i have seen) off the 2mg a couple times a week--i agree w you--it kept her feining and now she is back to 4mg per day. Unlike you she didnt do any cognitive/behavorial therapy--reading the bible, praying etc isnt just an influx of divine intervention--it is also an "activity" and burning new neuro pathways etc. While to many you may have sounded a bit of a bible thumper and while catholic & a believer i do not know the bible well, i wanted to tell you the verses you chose were very well selected specific and hopeful and very much appreciated at least by me :) And you hit on supplements & exercise renewing natural endorphins. That is my fear (after the pain) and fear it will be my biggest hurdle. What is dlpa? Is it like dopabean? Did you take SamE? Or can you add additional info on supplements? I am also hypothyroid and it is an endorphin & energy killer so although i am not able/ready to discontinue meds at this time, i do believe in miracles & try to watch my health/weight/fitness as best i can & my body very tempermental--i try to be high protein as carbs make me nuts & if i dont walk daily (try) my hypothyrodism appears truly as fibro & depression. I did not intend to hijack your post but to thank you & seek as much info as possible. And sidenote to any readers my severe hypothyrodism went undiagnosed for 2 years longer than it should have because i convinced myself those issues both physical (fibro type & migranes etc) & mental were side effects of my pain meds!!! Getting my hypothyroidism diag--its an another animal that's impossible to control -- but to anyone on mads or getting off mads check it out because I had about 50% or more of my most debilitating and frustrating symptoms go away after about six months on my thyroid medicine all the vague intense pain & migraines etc now my pain is very very specific to my pelvis & low back. So i wanted to add that to your thought about "wish you knew about brain supplements" i would say particularly for fibro woman to get a thyroid evaluation but also it gave me hope to see maybe a surgery could work (not an option at this tine) but then what ...a lifetime of subox??? That is why i am looking for strategies now! Thank you for your thoughtful post and my apologies for hijacking it a bit w/ the thyroid comment. Thanks for your insights!

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I want to thank you for sharing your success with recovery. I definitely agree that spirituality plays a huge part in recovery. Spirituality is the one thing that cannot be taken from me. Positive daily affirmations help me get through the tough times. This post has been very informative. God bless.

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Hello Lea, how are you doing? I read your post and have a few suggestion as first, make those few subs that you have last as long as possible. Clinically, you only need 4mgs a day tops. Anything above that is a waste because 75% of the suboxone medicinal purposes is consumed in the 1st 2mgs anyway. 16 mgs for anybody is WAAAY too high. That's why people can generally taper to 2mgs easily before hitting a brick wall. 2mgs of subs is equal to something like 1,000 mgs of oxycodone. More than enough to get you through the day. Taking more than that is just uneccessarily going to increase your wds and keep the drug in your body longer and draw those wds out even longer. Try to find an understanding DR in the meantime and ask for Gabapentin or Lyrica. It is not considered a controlled substance and is not addictive so most Drs will write out scripts fairly easily. It will help with restlessness, anxiety, RLS, insomnia and lack of appetite. It will also increSe your mood and cut down on general aches and pains. Start taking vitamins. Suboxone depletes your bodies nutrients and fortifying your body will also help you feel better when you jump. Find a support system, even if that's here on a blog. Hearing encouragement and sharing your story will help greatly. Also just knowing you're not alone will make you feel better as you go through this. Stay away from opiates because they only temporarily mask the wds but also continue to set the process of healing back. Try to exercise, if only a little because it will help to restore your natural endorphins, which are hijacked by opiates when we take them. That's why depression is a big part of wds. Continue to stay positive as best you can. I know that's easier said than done, but a positive mind set is the BIGGEST key to success. Winning the mental battle over addiction and wd is 90% of the battle. I was on 16mgs for almost 5 years. Tapered down to 2mgs and couldn't make it lower so I blew off my sub dr appointment knowing that was the only way I would ever do it. That was in September of 2014. It was not easy but it IS doable. And being free from Drs and pharmacies and needing a little pill to function is in the end, very much worth the *temporary* pain of wds. I hope this helps. Good luck and keep us posted!

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I'm trying to help my nephew and I'm looking up all the supplements. When I look up reloria I keep getting relora. Can you please tell me what the correct name of the supplement is. Reloria or Relora?
God bless you.

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Hi. Thank you so much for posting this and encouraging other people to do this. I've been on and off of suboxone for three last year and it's been a difficult ride. I have been so ready to come off of everything and get back to a normal life and with God's will I will do it. Reading your blog and hearing other people that have gone thru the same thing and we're able to come to be clean is inspiring.
I have been decreasing my suboxone intake over the last couple of weeks and I'm ready to make my jump. Please pray for me.

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You are a true witness, and I am grateful you took the time to write this. I needed it.. every verse, every reference, I needed

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Thank you so much for sharing your story of getting off suboxone. My dad sent me a link of a blog a woman was writing each day the struggle of taking *no* suboxone. And was asking people to help her and let her know if the pain/withdrawal ever goes away. That is exactly how I feel. I've been to two inpatient rehabs, one being top four in the country. Still neither helped. They seem to think by tapering you off for 7 days doing it "their way" will help. But I have been taking 8-2 mg subs twice a day for five years and doing a 7 day taper didn't do a thing. Of course I was in extreme withdrawal all 20 days. I felt like a caged animal and wanted to get out as soon as possible and do whatever opiate I could find. I ended up checking out early (against my family's wishes not knowing at the time the agony of sub withdrawals) and doing exactly that. I ended up doing opiates and drinking that same night and instantly I felt normal again. This was 3 years ago, and I have been to another rehab since, but I have still been struggling every day with Suboxone dependence. No one seems to understand what it's like besides friends like you and everyone who's been so nice on this site. Suboxone is like hell on earth to me being on the drug and withdrawing from it. I heard you're left with a lot of anxiety once you're completely off suboxone and my addictive personality scares the crap out of me. I have a 2 year old daughter who needs me right now and I had to give birth to her on Suboxone. It was so painful to see my baby girl in the NICU because of my mistakes. I know Methadone is an option but we all know an addict can't go down that road. That being said, I am most definitely going to try your method starting Monday. I have about 18 suboxones left (8-2 mg's), I'm now uninsured and, and my doctor just cut me off. So unless I can find another doctor fast and pay boatloads of money for another prescription I need to make sure these last me. Do you know if 16-18 will be enough to work this method? Any tips or words of advice/wisdom would be greatly appreciated. I am also a big believer in God and I trust he will help us all. Your struggle was very real and I'm glad you had God to help push you through. I will be keeping you and everyone going through this in my thoughts and prayers, because Lord knows we need all the prayers we can get. Thanks again so much and be well :)

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I have to say, I am off Suboxone, it was a long hard road, but I made it, without a doctor's help. I was so sick the first few days I just wanted to die, but I have family that I love more than anything. I tapered down slowly to 1/8 of a strip for about a month and then jumped, it was very hard, but very, very worth it. I'm not feeling 100% yet, but today I do feel alot better. In the process, I got a severe sinus infection, which made me feel worse, I lost my voice, still can't talk but I will survive. Good luck to all of you and may God Bless all of you trying to get this monster.

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I'm not a suboxone user myself, but my boyfriend is. How can I help him on his journey to stop taking this. He started taking this almost 2 yrs ago to get off pills. I want to be as helpful as possible and have hopes of him ridding hisself of this drug. Any input would be helpful. Thank you

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Thank you so much for your post. I've given it all to God praying he hold my hand throughout this. I am on day 11 but still feeling the cold and hot chills. I'm going those will stop any day. I need to get more active I feel like laying around all the time. You have inspired me very much! Thank you!

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Thank you for sharing this. I am so tired of feeling rundown by sub. It's been too many years that I've been on it and it eats up my energy. I have to get my life back. I hope with God's help I can do what you've done. I've been also trying to get my faith stronger, but like you said, this medicine does cloud you judgment with Christ. I am so scared but each day turns into years and I honestly feel so helpless. What an awful rut I've gotten myself into, thinking I was helping myself. Long term sub is scary. It's a terrible terrible crutch. I question whether I can even do this! So I do need my faith in Christ to grow.

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Thank you God for this post! I am 45 and have been fed narcotics since I was 11. I should explain that statement. At 11 I was diagnosed with scoliosis and by 12 I was in a body brace called a " Milwaukee Brace" just thinking of that horrible thing has started my tears. I actually have blocked memories from most the years I wore it. Besides the unbearable pain I dealt with kids are absolutely mean when they don't understand what you are. I do remember having to ride the bus and endure being spit on and gum put in my hair. (When wearing this brace you can not turn your head or turn at the waist or bend over from the hips) so I could not get away.
Another problem that arouse from this time in my life is that I learned my parents only heard the doctor not there daughter. Those days they didn't know squat about what that brace was actually doing to my muscle strength or the bone structure. I started taking 800mg of Motrin and muscule relaxers at 11 and progressed to stronger pills and stronger muscle relaxers by the time I was 21 all prescribed by doctors. I had a running scrip for Vicodin and a strong muscle relaxer I can not remember the name of. To make a very long story a bit shorter by the time I was 43 I could not live with out OxyContin and Vicodin and muscle relaxers and cannabis and alcohol AND uppers. If a doctor ever tells you to keep on top of your pain, which means take your pills even if your not in to much pain, run screaming from there office. I did not, I did as I was told, I would have done anything to Not have pain, anything including taking my own life and as a 16 year old child and then again at 40.

Not one of my doctors knew anything about what the pills where doing to my brain, if I became depressed it had to be some other reason, if I tried to kill my self it had to be something other then the meds I was on because not one person my doctor or physiologist ever thought to go there. Lots of other terrible things happened along the way like my husband and I divorcing then remarrying. Are youngest daughter drug us through the mud with her in high school but came out the other end better for it. We just had her wedding this past summer and she is managing our business and doing a great job. I suffered from debilitating panic attacks, I was an emotional mess any time life was at all dramatic I made it worse because I could not control my self. The summer of my 40th birthday my middle daughter was getting married and as any mother would I planned the whole thing, down to the color of thread. See I was a functioning drug addict I worked more then full time and raised 3 daughters, 3 beautiful smart non drug addict kids, Thank God!
My daughters are 30, 28 and 23 all married now and my oldest has given my husband and I 2 granddaughters and a grandson on the way in February, I thank god every time I feel there love for saving my life. I'm not all together sure what I'm supposed to do for God but I'm waiting to find out!

Back to the ugly stuff the whole time I was taking all these meds along with self medicating did I Ever get rid of pain. See what no one tells you is that nerve and bone pain can Not be helped, muscle pain can be helped with meds somewhat but never ever will any drug take the pain away it "masks" the pain in other words makes you feel high so you don't think about it so much. So by the summer of 2012 I was maxed out on the amount of OxyContin each dose I could take and was eating Vicodin like candy and uppers or I could not function. I knew that something had to change but I did not know what else todo except take my drugs and by this time I thought of all of it as drugs. My life was out of control and i wanted to die, I had enough and could not see my self living like this any longer. I had suffered through withdrawal many times because I had taken all of my meds before the refill day and was doing this every month. I could not stop my self from taking extra even though I knew I would be going through withdrawal again. I stole pain pills from my dad many times during these weeks of withdrawal something I never would have done had I been thinking clearly. It was a terrible cycle of self defeatism.

So I made a deal with my self I would make it through the wedding and my daughter on the plane headed for her honey moon before I did anything. The day of the wedding came and I had been awake for 3 days getting all the details finished, including sowing on beads at 4am to fix her dress the morning of the wedding. I did not make it through her whole reception because I couldn't keep my eyes open or have a clear thought even with uppers and drugs so I missed a lot of things I thought I would always be there for. What an awful mother, how could I have left is all I could think, look what my pain and all these drugs have done to my family it has destroyed my life. These thoughts resolved any misgivings I had about leaving this earth, they would all be better off with out me. So the Monday after the wedding I left my phone and my dogs, ( this is something I never do ) at home packed some sweat pants and gathered all my drugs. I finally loaded my hand gun and left for my parents cabin in the middle of 80 acres in the middle of no where, here I could be alone and do what I needed to do.

When I arrived at the cabin I drove my car down the trail to hide it from view, walked back up to the cabin and let my self in, locked the door behind me and left the shutters on the windows so no one would be able to tell that I was there. Took every last pain pill I had and ate a very large pot brownie. My goal was to fall asleep and not wake up. I was roused 24 hours later by my husband, sister, EMS along with police. I was pissed I woke up and pissed they where there. I was an angry drugged up b**** to every single person in my vicinity. I was hauled off to the hospital and forced into treatment, they can do this because I told them I wanted to die. The first days there I did not do well, I was very very angry, why did every one want me to live in pain, why? Why where the forcing me to take pain pills I didn't want them, I wanted withdrawal, I wanted it to kill me, I wanted to suffer for my sins. All the awful things I did because of pain pills and alcohol. I did get my wish because I had to be in withdrawal for 3 days before Suboxone was given to me.

I thank god for Suboxone and my Addictionologist, they saved me! I woke up like I had not been awake in years. Now it has been a very long road to this day I went through intense therapy that made it possible to see a future. I had to leave all doctors I had and was introduced to new therapies for pain management. After my first procedure at a pain clinic I discovered that I can live with out so much pain and don't have to take pills for this to happen. It was miraculous, why had all my doctors before not helped me? Why had no one thought of RFA or epidurals before? Why had no one listened to me about how much pain I was in? I told them over and over that the drugs where not helping, why didn't the listen? See I now have two titanium 24" rods holding me up because my back was going to kill me by 60 from circulation being destroyed by the compression of my body on its self. So it's not like all the doctors didnt know I was a candidate for pain.

I've been working on stepping down my dose of Suboxone for a year now, from 5, 8mgs where I started 3 years ago to 1, 2mg film today and I am ready to get it over with. Your post has given me much to work with. I've been through withdrawal many times and it's time to do it one more time, the last time. I've talked with both my doctor and psychologist and now will read up on the supplements and order them to prepare for my last week of Suboxone. Thank you for sharing your story you have lifted my spirits and strengthened my resolve to see this to the end.

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Denise,

Stop taking them. I will never take a sub again as long as I live.. worse detox ever. But they say everyone is different. good luck

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That is exactly how Dr had me do it and I never suffered anything other then restless legs, which had meds to help with that. Also was given colonodine to take as well. I tried multiple times with the pills never could get down to 4mg it literally took me like 3 months of tapering films n I have now been off them for almost a year!!!

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I just started suboxone and I still feel like crap from getting off the other stuff. ( morphine, oxy, pain patches, ect.) I've been taking 4-4mg strips 4 times a day for 5 days. I don't know what to do? Stay on it or get off now? Help???

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Can only get 8mg pills. Now down to 2mg. It's really not possible to slice down more. Just becomes crumbs. Insurance doesn't pay for films. Ideas anyone? Anyone on pills have success with jumping off at 2mg daily?

Statements about faith are not really helpful for me, though I know they help others, which is great!

Thanks,

Leon 7877

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I just want you and everyone struggling with suboxone that simply ripping a strip in half or in fourths is not cutting the dosage. The beupinepherin and nalaxone is not distributed evenly throughout the strip.. reckitt and benckaiser the co who makes them warns against this. You think you are taking less when in actuality you have no idea what dosage you are rly taking makin g it even more difficult to taper...

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