Citalopram Has Ruined My Marriage (Page 4) (Top voted first)

A while a ago my daughter was being bullied at school, which drove her to take an overdose, thank fully she was ok and is doing fine now. But my wife took it really hard and started to suffer with anxiety so the doctor gave her citalopram. Instantly I noticed a change in her attitude, she just turned so hard faced and cold toward me, then what was a healthy sexual relationship turned to a relationship with no sex at all, I've tried to tell her that this drug has changed her but she is not interested, this drug had changed her from being a normal loving mother/wife to a woman who needs no love or affection. And now after 15yrs of being together she wants a divorce, to sell the house and go our separate ways, I am absolutely devastated I can't imagine my life without this woman I have loved for so long, but it's the medication im dealing with not my wife, she's in there some where but I can't and don't know how to bring her back. I love my wife and would do anything to keep her and not get divorced but it all seems to be falling on deaf ears. Is there anyone out there who knows what I can do? I am heartbroken and don't want to leave her in this state but she is adamant that we split immediately.

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My fiancee of six months recently started lexapro 10 mg daily for depression and severe mood swings. I knew that it would squelch her interest in sex but I never thought it could change her into the ghost of the woman I fell in love with. Her passion is gone. That spark is nonexistent now. She confessed after her first week on the drug that she didn't feel anything anymore when I kissed her. I've remained unchanging though. We had committed the rest of our lives together then out of nowhere she says "if things don't work out and we go our separate ways, just remember I'll always have love for you...." Each day my heart breaks when I look the shell of the woman I fell in love with. Her eyes are distant and disinterested. Her lips are numb. Her touch is detached. And talking to her about it is like talking to an alcoholic while he's under the influence. Its pointless and useless. Her family and friends of course haven't noticed what to me is a complete 180 degrees change. Because I've been with her 24/7 for six months. She loves me but she's not IN love with me anymore. And this is only week three into the medication. I'm scared and uncertain about our future together, the plans we made. And don't tell me its just me or maybe it's the relationship itself. She changed after day three on the drug. I've lost the love of my life to the antidepressant's zombie grip....

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Can anything be done to reserve this medication? I'm still very much in love with my husband and want him back. Our son is very distraught over this as well he doesn't understand why his daddy doesn't want to be at home I'm very desperate.....

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After a few months on Escitalopram my husband changed so much I cant recognise him.We separated.I informed his doctor, GP about changes and mentioned that the family should be informed when this medication is prescribed and that psychiatric help should be considered. She was surprised about severity of side effects but did not promise anything, no potential evaluation, no consultation with my husband, possibility of other drugs, options... such a grey area, as spouses want to help but GPs have to remain confidential... feeling hopeless and disapointed..this medication changed our world and the family is devastated..

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So very sorry to read of your situation. Please get Peter R Breggin MD book Medication Madness. You read it then give to your husband to read. This is a common problem with this medication.
Good luck. Mari

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My husband has been taking citalopram for anxiety issues for three years now. He has no empathy anymore. He directs his anger to people and stuff outside our domestic sphere. But he does not really listen to me anymore. He makes light of me and my feelings. I feel like I am banging my head against a granite wall. Intimacy is different now too, but that is the least of it really. He just seems to be hard and lacking in empathy. And it really hurts because I totally love him.

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My girlfriend of two years started taking citalopram and it seemed like she experienced some significant personality changes around that time. She became impatient, irritable and started expressing hostility towards me regularly. She wasn't goofy or playful like she used to be and seemed like she was always upset at me. It was causing me a lot of stress because I felt like she was always angry at me, and anything I tried to say would make it worse. Finally, I decided I would not walk on eggshells but would rather be honest about my needs and boundaries, and this led to her losing it and hanging up the phone on me after which I decided to break it off and go no contact. For me there was a noticeable change from someone who was goofy, silly, playful and able to be an adult when it mattered, to someone who was impatient, easily irritated, angry, and apathetic, maybe anhedonic. I never said anything about the fact that I thought it may have been the antidepressant because I was afraid she would have accused me of being judgmental for whatever I said. The change was sudden and drastic, and as much as I loved her and wanted to be with her and possibly raise a family, it was not worth putting up with abuse. After this experience, I will not date anyone using this medication or any similar because of the stability issues. I myself have worked through trauma, and took citalopram for a time for depression, but not for long and only half the recommended dosage. It was much more beneficial for me to explore and release the emotions organically with support of others. I think most people opt for medicating because they aren't willing or able to dedicate the time and energy to organic healing. I was fortunate in my case. I wish her the best but I can't be close to her anymore.

I found this by googling "citalopram and breakups" because I was suspicious the cit played a role and found this thread. I identify with so much and would be interested to read Dr. Breggin's book.

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I am on the other side and can relate fully. I stopped caring about anything.

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Hi, im feeling the same thing is about to happen to me, my wife has changed so much im worried to death. Is there any advice out there.

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Does she recognize the change in her? If not then I would suggest you bring your best, kindest conversational skills and explain in detail the changes you see in her. Be specific. I believe this drug can change personality and alter the mind. You don't give much information as to time on drug, reasons she was put on it etc. I also ask, did she or you or both ever explore why and what life events brought on the symptoms she is seeking relief from a pill? And were other steps taken to try and improve her life/situation before starting meds? Finally, she may be having an adverse reaction as you stated you are concerned. She might no realize adverse effects may be happening to her including her thought process and emotional blunting.

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She went on it after our second child just for anxiety, been on them around 8 months now, i dont think she believes its the drug but im nearly getting her to possibly believe it. I dont think she needs this drug for anxiety and theres no way she could just become the way she is weve been together since we were kids. She wants space to clear her mind which i have given her i dont know if thats a good idea or bad idea.

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I am so sorry you are going through this. I am in exactly the same situation. I am 44 and have been with my husband since I was 16. He has change so much and I actually had a mental breakdown myself. I have explained that it’s almost worse than death because there is no closure. I see my husband in the flesh but he isn’t my husband anymore. I couldn’t bear to leave him so I just live with its but honestly it’s killing me.

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My name is Jeff. It ruined my life. I was on it 20 yrs. It caused my heart to swell & I had total heart failure. It also caused my divorce. I am a Christian man & have now remarried. Wish I could communicate with you & your wife & tell u what this drug will do.

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I agree that it is the medication. I have withdrawn from it over the last month, the withdrawal is hard but necessary as this is a very strong medication, lots of side effects including the ones you mention. I hope that she can withdraw from this drug, needs to be done very slowly with Doctor supervision, either use something else or find another way through it.

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I feel compelled to write to all of you as the one who is being accused of citalopram wrecking my life. I also would like to offer some suggestions for those of you out there on saving your relationship. First, I have read some articles that cit can change your personality. It can make u more outgoing. This seems reasonable to me. Second, the studies show that cit can cause sexual disfunction or lack of interest. However, to say that taking citalopram makes you suddenly lose interest in your partner and "makes you crazy" is a huge leap.

I can only speak from my perspective. I started cit because I was feeling depressed and at the time I didn't know exactly what was driving it. The initial side effects were horrendous but I stuck with it and I started to feel better in about a month. I wish I would have tried therapy first. I think in the end I would be in the exact same place I am now but I wouldn't have made as many mistakes.

The drug worked for me there's no doubt. Freed from the depression there was room in my mind to evaluate what went wrong. I realized that there were a lot of things about my partner that made me really unhappy. In fact, I determined that was what lead to my depression in the first place. Never wanting to feel that way again i reached out to other people to fill the void and that was a mistake. I should have talked to my partner about it. We should have done couples therapy.

But now it's over and done with. My partner is now telling everyone that this drug has made me crazy. In fact she has told me that she tells everyone my whole medical history! People on this forum, it's really easy to blame a pill for your relationship falling apart, but that's just as easy as me reaching for others to fill the void. If there is any chance at you saving the relationship, stop blaming citalopram and calling them crazy. It will only make things worse. Look inside yourself for faults. Listen to what they have say. I know it has to be hard when u r the one who was betrayed...but isn't it worth it in the end? I would strongly encourage couples therapy if you can get them there. I do also realize that in many of these cases, like mine, it is too far past that point.

I hope everyone on this forum finds peace in their lives. If you've never had depression it's impossible to know what it's like. If the rolls were reversed and I had to choose between my partner not feeling depression or leaving me, I would choose her not feeling depression.

I am currently off of citalopram. I was on it for 6 months. I've been off of it for 3 weeks now. I still feel the same way about my partner. If they aren't willing to change certain aspects of their personality then I can't stay with them. I'm your proof. I got off the drug and nothing changed. It did the job it was intended to do.

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Andrew, have you spoken to her doctor about it?

I know they can't tell you about confidential things, but you can tell them what's going on and your concerns, in case she isn't. Her doctor may not be aware that things have gotten that bad.

https:/­/­rxchat.com/­wiki/­Citalopram/­

There is also the possibility that it isn't the medication, at all, and she just doesn't feel the same way about you that she used to and you may just have to accept and face that. It does happen.

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Yes its always great to blame the medication instead of yourself or yourselves. Maybe its the case of she only stayed with you for so long-in the first place out of fear and or anxiety. Citalopram has been around since 1989 so the side effects are well known and you are somehow blaming this 'wonder drug' for ruining it.

Have you thought about your own actions? I mean you could try a different drug for her and see if she still dosn't want to stay with you.....

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