Citalopram Has Ruined My Marriage

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A while a ago my daughter was being bullied at school, which drove her to take an overdose, thank fully she was ok and is doing fine now. But my wife took it really hard and started to suffer with anxiety so the doctor gave her citalopram. Instantly I noticed a change in her attitude, she just turned so hard faced and cold toward me, then what was a healthy sexual relationship turned to a relationship with no sex at all, I've tried to tell her that this drug has changed her but she is not interested, this drug had changed her from being a normal loving mother/wife to a woman who needs no love or affection. And now after 15yrs of being together she wants a divorce, to sell the house and go our separate ways, I am absolutely devastated I can't imagine my life without this woman I have loved for so long, but it's the medication im dealing with not my wife, she's in there some where but I can't and don't know how to bring her back. I love my wife and would do anything to keep her and not get divorced but it all seems to be falling on deaf ears. Is there anyone out there who knows what I can do? I am heartbroken and don't want to leave her in this state but she is adamant that we split immediately.

76 Replies (4 Pages)

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1

Your post has opened my eyes about myself and my behavior while taking this med. I too am colder n more distant. I have and go days without being intimate. It's just when i dont take it i slip into a very depressed state. My doc said we could adjust the meds to something else. He also suggested me not take the meds on a day we plan to be sexual!

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2

Dear Andrew,

I can hear the concern and the brokenness in your letter, and I will be Praying for you and your Wife and your Merriage. Through the Lord Jesus, ALL things are possable!

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3

Andrew, have you spoken to her doctor about it?

I know they can't tell you about confidential things, but you can tell them what's going on and your concerns, in case she isn't. Her doctor may not be aware that things have gotten that bad.

https:/­/­rxchat.com/­wiki/­Citalopram/­

There is also the possibility that it isn't the medication, at all, and she just doesn't feel the same way about you that she used to and you may just have to accept and face that. It does happen.

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4

Andrew, Have the doctor switch her medication. This is a common side effect with Citalopram.
Check out this article on Antidepressants and Sex:
prohealth.com/library/showarticle.cfm?libid=907
Do research via internet and see a different doctor if necessary. Don't lose hope.

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5

Both myself and my husband took them i cried all the time and wished i was dead propa screwed me up and my husbamd turned into a corps totally changed him from the lovely man i married made him do odd thing too after 23years i dnt know him anymore he was the love of my life i clould never love anybody else i binned my tablets and will never take a tablet again ever also quiolones affected me all my gp ever said keep taking them id visit a witchdoctor before id see a gp again i truely would

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6

I agree that it is the medication. I have withdrawn from it over the last month, the withdrawal is hard but necessary as this is a very strong medication, lots of side effects including the ones you mention. I hope that she can withdraw from this drug, needs to be done very slowly with Doctor supervision, either use something else or find another way through it.

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7

I was curious if there was an update from the OP?

I too am a victim of this horrific side effect. My now ex wife changed completely in just 3 months. Started flirting HEAVILY with the help, even in front of me and then started cheating. Told me she loved me but not like a wife should and didn't even know why.

She's living with her brother now, seeing a 21 yo KID that looks like he's 15, hanging with teenagers etc. Acts like our kid is a stranger's kid, hardly shows emotion towards her.. She completely transformed into a person I hardly recognize, however she seems "fine" to her family and new friends. So heartbreaking. Our daughter is being very much affected by all of this. She's 3.

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8

Yes its always great to blame the medication instead of yourself or yourselves. Maybe its the case of she only stayed with you for so long-in the first place out of fear and or anxiety. Citalopram has been around since 1989 so the side effects are well known and you are somehow blaming this 'wonder drug' for ruining it.

Have you thought about your own actions? I mean you could try a different drug for her and see if she still dosn't want to stay with you.....

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9

Yes, we have thought about it. most of our cases are of very loving people. We're not talking about just leaving a marriage. We're talking about COMPLETE personality changes. Now people are gambling their life savings away, having unprotected sex with many partners w/o care. Now drinking and doing drugs, people who NEVER done them, despised drugs. Now are out partying with drugs and alcohol. Leaving the church. Leaving their old friends and family in the dust and completely... 100 PERCENT COMPLETELY changing into another person. I've witnessed it myself.

It is a VERY REAL deal. We were together for 11 years and last ARGUMENT even was 6 years ago. Things were near perfect since then. Doing great, started a family, a new business which she ran into the ground now. Her friends are noticing changes too. She no longer fixes herself up. Lets herself go etc.

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10

Hi Andrew

I just wondered how your situation progressed? I'm going through what would appear to be an identical set of circumstances. After just a few months of increasing her dose from 20mg to 40mg, my wife kicked me out, filed for divorce and is selling the house and within a week of me leaving started dating someone else! Her only response is that she just doesn't feel the same for me anymore....

Is this real, does Citalopram cause this type of behaviour or has she just changed for other reasons..... Just wondered if there was any light at the end of this? we have three children and she doesn't even seemto care about the basic things like birthdays being split days between us or me having them nearly every weekend.

Such a dramatic change! I've asked her to see her doctor but apparently he thinks this is perfectly same behaviour!

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11

This drug is very dangerous. Doctors should not be prescribing it unless severe or tragic or devastating depression or psychosis is occuring. I took this med 10 mg, the 20 mg for about 6 months until I realized I could not even do my fast paced job as an exceptional student educator. I was in a fog and couldn't focus or concentrate on a thing, nevermind care about my housework, etc. I had severe anxiety and depression after a divorce and separation after 15 year relationship, married for 10, with two young children. I could not eat or sleep and needed something to deal with this situation. I remember my doctor telling me that one of her patients had lost her son, he was hit by a car riding his bike, and this is what she gave him... and she decided this is what to give me??!! I immediately gained weight, and after we got back together, I stopped taking the medication. For the next year and a half I experienced what I believed were long term affects of the SSRI, as it completely altered my entire endocrine system. Recently, I have discovered something called Green Vibrance, a probiotic green shake and miraculously this has brought me back to my old self. It is much more than a probiotic healthy green shake, but a detox and essential part of my daily routine now. I really recommend getting in your car and going to your nearest healthfood store and picking up this stuff. It is amazing.

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12

Hi Andrew....My hubby is on 20mg Ciprimil....it has been a nightmare with wrong meds and wrong diagnosis for approximately 9 years. Now he has been on this 9th medication, Ciprimil, he has become totally self absorbed with no affection or love towards me or his family. It is almost like he needs to pretend to show affection. He has severe depression, mood disorder and what the psychiatrist called 'personality dysfunction'.
It is so hard as we have not had much luck with meds...he was on Cymbalta for 3 years with horrible side effects but we were told by the medical profession this was usual and move on with life. I wonder what it is to be happy and normal at times.

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13

Yes citalopram has ruined my life too. It's taken away all my positive emotions and made me feel like a zombie; it's so frightening having all my relationships destroyed because I have no feelings- like waiting to die. It's a license to kill. Just wish I could reach everyone whose about to take it for the first time AND WARN THEM ABOUT THIS SOUL DESTROYING SSRI.

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14

I know how you feel- citalopram has done the same to me -destroyed all my emotions. My whole life wrecked

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15

My story is the same. My childhood sweetheart of 15 years and who I have 2 kids with has decided she doesn't want me any more, she says she loves me and finds me attractive but has lost the "spark" I don't know if it is what it is but she started taking citalopram (20mg) shortly after having our second son, she went to the dr and said she was feeling numb and felt like jumping out of a window so was put on them for postnatal depression, her mood changed a lot she was not so stressed as she would be about things. She has been on them for over 2 years now and recently decided she wants more from life saying she has felt like this for guess what 18 months/2 years. She is only 30 and can't continue carrying on thinking "what if" . I said about a year ago I wanted her to come off them as did her family as she was a different person, no labido less empathy and quite selfish. She met this guy at work (23yrs old) and really got on with him and ended up kissing him she felt guilty and wanted me back but a couple of weeks later she changed her mind again. And now I'm on citalopram for he depression of it all and the reason I have searched this is because of the lack of empathy and change in my personality and it got me thinking... Maybe it is the meds or maybe I'm just clutching at straws and she has just fallen out of love with me! But either way it seems quite coincidental that there are so many similar stories.

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16

sorry to hear Adam. My wife dropped her medication from 40 to 20 and since has stopped the divorce and begged me to come back. Ive returned to the family home but she still shows signs of being unnaturally selfish! i hope this decreases when the medication drops further but some minor improvements since realizing the issue and working to reduce.

out of interest - have there been changes in your personality since starting?

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17

Sorry for commenting on such an old post, but it's the most recent I found pertaining to this issue:

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year, he has suffered from severe anxiety and some depression throughout which has put a big strain on our relationship. We broke up in December but got back together after a few weeks, and things have been better than ever before. I am truly in love with him, and he with me.

He went to a doctor about his anxiety with my encouragement, and the doctor prescribed him 20mg Celexa. He started taking it just under one week ago. After the first day, he instantly began sleeping better, feeling more positive, and less stressed. But he has also had trouble orgasming, and began pulling away. Today he told me he wants to break up, and that he loves me but is not in love with me.

One week ago everything was wonderful between us. He was talking about wanting to move in together (which he's been talking about for a while), bringing me presents, and being extremely affectionate. I was extremely upset by the dramatic change, but when he said he was sorry the medicine made him feel like this. So I began googling... and now I'm terrified by everything I have read about Celexa's effect on relationships. Does this scenario seem like it could be a side effect of the medication?

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18

Hi, I have since come off citalopram I simply ran out. At first I felt lost and thought I needed the meds, it felt like an addiction. I craved the tablets to feel normal, however after a week or so I started to feel less need. The bad thoughts and feelings returned but to a lesser extent which I just had to deal with. On a plus point I had this feeling of taking back my head, I can only describe it like taking a hat off of my mind, my thought process was clearer I became more aware and not as numb as I was on this drug, I felt happy, positive and more focused. I simply stopped taking them but this is apparently the wrong way to "come off". A process of slow reduction is the preferred method but I didn't like how they made me feel and the lack of control I felt within myself. Each and every case is surly different but this is my story and now six months on me and her are still seperated and lead our own lives, I believe my ex still is taking her meds but it would be interesting to see how or if she changes should she come off them. We have gone too far to ever go back to being together. Good luck with life! But I certainly think antidepressants are a thing to use with caution as they most certainly change personalities in people and not always for the better.

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19

Yes indeed that could be the case because it does take 2. However, my daughter has been on celexa for about 5 months and one day just up and left her husband. I believe that it is the sudden change that you can tell it is the drug. 6 months ago if she was unhappy she would have gone to counciling, now she won't and thinks she is fine and doing great. Luckily she brought with her her 2 young sons. This is a scary drug. PLEASE NEVER TAKE THIS DRUG.

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20

This is all so scary. After reading all these posts I know that my husband also is a changed man. I thought after 34 years of marrage, and some surgeries from accidents that he just wasn't coping well. Just as all you say he is not interested in anything, very cold. Even when my mom passed last year, whom he loved, he never said he was sorry and never even gave me a hug. NOT the man I married.

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76

My name is Jeff. It ruined my life. I was on it 20 yrs. It caused my heart to swell & I had total heart failure. It also caused my divorce. I am a Christian man & have now remarried. Wish I could communicate with you & your wife & tell u what this drug will do.

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75

I am so sorry you are going through this. I am in exactly the same situation. I am 44 and have been with my husband since I was 16. He has change so much and I actually had a mental breakdown myself. I have explained that it’s almost worse than death because there is no closure. I see my husband in the flesh but he isn’t my husband anymore. I couldn’t bear to leave him so I just live with its but honestly it’s killing me.

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74

I have been with my husband for 17 years, married 18 months. My father-in-law passed away suddenly and I encouraged my to see a doctor and he was put on Citalopram. 2 years he has been on them and we have our arguments, like all couples but he has now said he doesn't love me and showing no emotion al all! Having read this forum, it has made me realise that the arguments we have had have been increased since he has been on this medication.

I am distraught, I love my husband more then anything, he is my sole mate! I don't know what to do. Its 5 weeks till xmas and he wants to separate! Our 13 year old daughter is so upset, but this isn't making a difference. Intimacy has been none existent since being on these tablets and I have not pressured him. This drug needs to be reevaluated as it is messing with peoples families. I am sure there are other medication that can help.

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73

citalopram is about to destroy 13 years of happy marriage

Morning this is the first time that i have ever used a blog like this to understand the situation that i am in.... i am a male, Husband with 2 amazing children and what use to be a very loving and caring wife. (I will explain)

My wife was this amazing loving and caring person i have ever meet and we were so happy. After the birth of our second child see started getting panic attacks, unable to leave the house, crying and hot flushes.... i tried to be supportive to her but with very little understanding on mental health its difficult.

She went to a her Doctor and she was given 20 MG of Citalopram i don't like the idea of antidepressants but i was willing to let her short term to cope with what ever was going on with her..

This worked really well sex was amazing, she was intermit with me and we could not keep our hands off each other. then she started to feel sick and the attacks happened again so the doctor increased the dose to 30 Mg (This is when it started to go wrong even thou at the time i did not know this) 4 months later she can't stand the sight of me, does not want to engage in cuddles kisses or any sign of affection.

All our friends called us the happiest couple that they have ever known and love the fact that we always did fun and exciting things together.

I asked her when she started feeling like this and it was around the time that her does was increased, she is completely emotionless when it comes to me.
I know that some people will think that i may have to face the fact that she does not love me any more, but there is no way we go from being the happiest couple to out of love to the point she really does not care about me in 4 months (At the same time the dose was increased)

Family members have said that see looks like she is in a gaze like she is there but know one at home.

She wants to leave me now and have said that see loves me but don't want to touch me or any thing... the problem is is that she can't see that its the drug that is numbing her and in like so many stories i have read it will be to late..

This drug is horrible she was meant to be on it for 6 months and its now nearly 3 years doctors need to take control of this...

13 years of a relationship is to fall victim to this horrible drug

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72

Morning this is the first time that i have ever used a blog like this to understand the situation that i am in.... i am a male, Husband with 2 amazing children and what use to be a very loving and caring wife. (I will explain)

My wife was this amazing loving and caring person i have ever meet and we were so happy. After the birth of our second child see started getting panic attacks, unable to leave the house, crying and hot flushes.... i tried to be supportive to her but with very little understanding on mental health its difficult.

She went to a her Doctor and she was given 20 MG of Citalopram i don't like the idea of antidepressants but i was willing to let her short term to cope with what ever was going on with her..

This worked really well sex was amazing, she was intermit with me and we could not keep our hands off each other. then she started to feel sick and the attacks happened again so the doctor increased the dose to 30 Mg (This is when it started to go wrong even thou at the time i did not know this) 4 months later she can't stand the sight of me, does not want to engage in cuddles kisses or any sign of affection.

All our friends called us the happiest couple that they have ever known and love the fact that we always did fun and exciting things together.

I asked her when she started feeling like this and it was around the time that her does was increased, she is completely emotionless when it comes to me.
I know that some people will think that i may have to face the fact that she does not love me any more, but there is no way we go from being the happiest couple to out of love to the point she really does not care about me in 4 months (At the same time the dose was increased)

Family members have said that see looks like she is in a gaze like she is there but know one at home.

She wants to leave me now and have said that see loves me but don't want to touch me or any thing... the problem is is that she can't see that its the drug that is numbing her and in like so many stories i have read it will be to late..

This drug is horrible she was meant to be on it for 6 months and its now nearly 3 years doctors need to take control of this...

13 years of a relationship is to fall victim to this horrible drug

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71

Well usually people are told they can go on it for a period of time and come off. Be very careful to taper off by reducing dosage over time. You need to know as does she this drug can alter brain architecture. Specifically by neurogenics. You may have been happy with how things were going but maybe she wasn't and didn't know exactly what was wrong or possibly how to express it. If you want to support her suggest she come off the drug with Dr.s help and then examine your life together and make plans on how to improve it. Maybe go to marriage counseling to help each of you to express wants and needs in a constructive manner to each other. Understand for many these drugs can be addictive. The drug companies would like nothing better. People grow and change and needs become different during ones life time. Clearly she was becoming anxious over something so as her life partner you must make an effort to understand and help her. It may not, probably won't be easy. But what is the alternative?

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70

She went on it after our second child just for anxiety, been on them around 8 months now, i dont think she believes its the drug but im nearly getting her to possibly believe it. I dont think she needs this drug for anxiety and theres no way she could just become the way she is weve been together since we were kids. She wants space to clear her mind which i have given her i dont know if thats a good idea or bad idea.

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69

Does she recognize the change in her? If not then I would suggest you bring your best, kindest conversational skills and explain in detail the changes you see in her. Be specific. I believe this drug can change personality and alter the mind. You don't give much information as to time on drug, reasons she was put on it etc. I also ask, did she or you or both ever explore why and what life events brought on the symptoms she is seeking relief from a pill? And were other steps taken to try and improve her life/situation before starting meds? Finally, she may be having an adverse reaction as you stated you are concerned. She might no realize adverse effects may be happening to her including her thought process and emotional blunting.

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68

Hi, im feeling the same thing is about to happen to me, my wife has changed so much im worried to death. Is there any advice out there.

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67

I am on the other side and can relate fully. I stopped caring about anything.

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