Citalopram Has Ruined My Marriage (Page 3) (Top voted first)

A while a ago my daughter was being bullied at school, which drove her to take an overdose, thank fully she was ok and is doing fine now. But my wife took it really hard and started to suffer with anxiety so the doctor gave her citalopram. Instantly I noticed a change in her attitude, she just turned so hard faced and cold toward me, then what was a healthy sexual relationship turned to a relationship with no sex at all, I've tried to tell her that this drug has changed her but she is not interested, this drug had changed her from being a normal loving mother/wife to a woman who needs no love or affection. And now after 15yrs of being together she wants a divorce, to sell the house and go our separate ways, I am absolutely devastated I can't imagine my life without this woman I have loved for so long, but it's the medication im dealing with not my wife, she's in there some where but I can't and don't know how to bring her back. I love my wife and would do anything to keep her and not get divorced but it all seems to be falling on deaf ears. Is there anyone out there who knows what I can do? I am heartbroken and don't want to leave her in this state but she is adamant that we split immediately.

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Morning this is the first time that i have ever used a blog like this to understand the situation that i am in.... i am a male, Husband with 2 amazing children and what use to be a very loving and caring wife. (I will explain)

My wife was this amazing loving and caring person i have ever meet and we were so happy. After the birth of our second child see started getting panic attacks, unable to leave the house, crying and hot flushes.... i tried to be supportive to her but with very little understanding on mental health its difficult.

She went to a her Doctor and she was given 20 MG of Citalopram i don't like the idea of antidepressants but i was willing to let her short term to cope with what ever was going on with her..

This worked really well sex was amazing, she was intermit with me and we could not keep our hands off each other. then she started to feel sick and the attacks happened again so the doctor increased the dose to 30 Mg (This is when it started to go wrong even thou at the time i did not know this) 4 months later she can't stand the sight of me, does not want to engage in cuddles kisses or any sign of affection.

All our friends called us the happiest couple that they have ever known and love the fact that we always did fun and exciting things together.

I asked her when she started feeling like this and it was around the time that her does was increased, she is completely emotionless when it comes to me.
I know that some people will think that i may have to face the fact that she does not love me any more, but there is no way we go from being the happiest couple to out of love to the point she really does not care about me in 4 months (At the same time the dose was increased)

Family members have said that see looks like she is in a gaze like she is there but know one at home.

She wants to leave me now and have said that see loves me but don't want to touch me or any thing... the problem is is that she can't see that its the drug that is numbing her and in like so many stories i have read it will be to late..

This drug is horrible she was meant to be on it for 6 months and its now nearly 3 years doctors need to take control of this...

13 years of a relationship is to fall victim to this horrible drug

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citalopram is about to destroy 13 years of happy marriage

Morning this is the first time that i have ever used a blog like this to understand the situation that i am in.... i am a male, Husband with 2 amazing children and what use to be a very loving and caring wife. (I will explain)

My wife was this amazing loving and caring person i have ever meet and we were so happy. After the birth of our second child see started getting panic attacks, unable to leave the house, crying and hot flushes.... i tried to be supportive to her but with very little understanding on mental health its difficult.

She went to a her Doctor and she was given 20 MG of Citalopram i don't like the idea of antidepressants but i was willing to let her short term to cope with what ever was going on with her..

This worked really well sex was amazing, she was intermit with me and we could not keep our hands off each other. then she started to feel sick and the attacks happened again so the doctor increased the dose to 30 Mg (This is when it started to go wrong even thou at the time i did not know this) 4 months later she can't stand the sight of me, does not want to engage in cuddles kisses or any sign of affection.

All our friends called us the happiest couple that they have ever known and love the fact that we always did fun and exciting things together.

I asked her when she started feeling like this and it was around the time that her does was increased, she is completely emotionless when it comes to me.
I know that some people will think that i may have to face the fact that she does not love me any more, but there is no way we go from being the happiest couple to out of love to the point she really does not care about me in 4 months (At the same time the dose was increased)

Family members have said that see looks like she is in a gaze like she is there but know one at home.

She wants to leave me now and have said that see loves me but don't want to touch me or any thing... the problem is is that she can't see that its the drug that is numbing her and in like so many stories i have read it will be to late..

This drug is horrible she was meant to be on it for 6 months and its now nearly 3 years doctors need to take control of this...

13 years of a relationship is to fall victim to this horrible drug

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Your post has opened my eyes about myself and my behavior while taking this med. I too am colder n more distant. I have and go days without being intimate. It's just when i dont take it i slip into a very depressed state. My doc said we could adjust the meds to something else. He also suggested me not take the meds on a day we plan to be sexual!

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Dear Andrew,

I can hear the concern and the brokenness in your letter, and I will be Praying for you and your Wife and your Merriage. Through the Lord Jesus, ALL things are possable!

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Andrew, Have the doctor switch her medication. This is a common side effect with Citalopram.
Check out this article on Antidepressants and Sex:
prohealth.com/library/showarticle.cfm?libid=907
Do research via internet and see a different doctor if necessary. Don't lose hope.

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I was curious if there was an update from the OP?

I too am a victim of this horrific side effect. My now ex wife changed completely in just 3 months. Started flirting HEAVILY with the help, even in front of me and then started cheating. Told me she loved me but not like a wife should and didn't even know why.

She's living with her brother now, seeing a 21 yo KID that looks like he's 15, hanging with teenagers etc. Acts like our kid is a stranger's kid, hardly shows emotion towards her.. She completely transformed into a person I hardly recognize, however she seems "fine" to her family and new friends. So heartbreaking. Our daughter is being very much affected by all of this. She's 3.

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I sincerely hope this is what happened to my ex Fiancee. He started taking this medication and lost all emotions. He turned from a sweet and kind man into a vile monster. So bad so that I have told him never to contact me again. I was wondering if I had been living with a covert psychopath for all these years.

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Perhaps can shed some light on this medication. My husband is taking this and bupropion for about 2 years now. He began to drift away emotionally and drinking became quite heavy. He had an affair soon thereafter. He is rather unemotional now and drinking even more heavily, about light beers in a night, sometimes more and a mixture of wine. We have been married for 15 years bad have always been the best of friends. He has become distant and irritable and continues his inappropriate behavior with other women. He does nothing with our children and would prefer time on his own with his beer than his family. He is such a great guy and loving father but that seems to have disappeared. I do what I can to be supportive and loving and fun but he has become a wall. His mixture of these meds and alcohol doesn't to seem to phase him. I am truly crushed and concerned for his well being.

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Pointer same here, wife left me for another bloke,still wants me back every now and again.but she rather be out with so called friends smoking cannabis taking amphetamine. She was on these pills for about 2 months.your not a mug probably care about her !

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My boyfriend changed completely after 2 months withdrawal from Citalopram. Suddenly he kicked me out from our apartment and claimed that just doesn't feel anything for me anymore. His personality is completely changed into a cold that I can't rocognize at all. I'm just in chok!

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Go to her doctor. Tell her doctor. She needs to get off those meds.

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This page is good. My wife, mother of my two boys has morphed into some disagreeable person. Constant dissatisfaction with petty issues ranging from misplaced magazines on the coffee table to towels on the floor. She has never been an OCD person and any serious cleaning in our home is done by me. She gets waves of resentment and focuses on the most petty issues to chastise me. There seems to be some internal control struggle she's dealing with and projecting all her problems on me. 20 years of compliance and understanding on my part is coming to the end. I have envisioned a future where I find my own sources of personal enjoyment. I'm not talking about infidelity here, simply about realizing that the pleasure derived from customizing a motorcycle eclipses any intimate bedroom activity we've had recently. I've sort of switched off from her as I've just recently realized how she subtly controls our relationship through her 'not right now' regulations between the sheets. Manipulating tactics have been going on for years and don't get me wrong, I know that this behaviour goes on in most relationships. It's dealing with it that is the real relationship growth skill. But just now this interaction has slipped from engaging behavior to actively goading me and all grace is evaporating.

I have warned her that i'm aware of the bulls*** game she is playing. She has had a complicated sexual history before we got together and sex has always been a little awkward. I thought this would improve but there's a selfishness there that isn't making it fun. Then she tells me that she's coming off the citalopram again and it's me who needs to be more understanding. I've had issues, a stress related breakdown years ago. So I know what you need to do to break the negative feedback loops of depression. And number one solution is behaving responsibly. Identify triggers and avoid going there. I don't think she has the personal resilience to get her s*** together. I'm going to hang on here for the foreseeable but unless she decides to make more of an effort to make our relationship work it's most likely time to make a change.

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This sounds so like my wife! She threw me out months ago started seeing a druggie bloke and is now in danger of losing the kids, can anything be done about these awful pills?

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Same problem with my relationship of 17 years with my partner Steven. Since he has been taking cipramil, and mirtazapine a few years ago, his whole personality has changed to a cold narcissistic spineless psycho sociopath, exhibiting explosive personality disorder, verbally abuses me, talks dirty, has cheated on me with dirty women from dating sites, and pulls away for a hug, no emotions, no remorse, no compassion, no personality, he is having sex with different women, and has now coldly 'deserted' me after I found out all the women he is 'bedding', via the internet and in rental flat when he drove me there. He is taking other drugs, syringes and alcohol, baby diapers, and tampons! And it appears he is dating younger women, who put their baby in his flat (risk assessment), for child protection, and he is 49 yrs of age, and is absolutely beyond help, since confessing 3 days ago he is on this drug, and possibly other drugs, street ones. He has changed his cell numbers, his land line, and I saw him 4 days ago, he is no where to be found, just disappeared! Stole money from for the whole year, possibly to buy drugs and he never paid me back. The old Steve has gone, the new one is highly dangerous, "Keep Away, Highly Medicated"!!!!

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I indeed share your sympathy Sir, as I have also been in a very long r/ship for 17 yrs with a man who is ruined since I knew him from Cipramil and MIrtazepine! He has mixed all kinds of anti deps with alcohol since I knew him in 97. Now he has been prescribed the Cipramil once again, he suddenly left me, no word, no prior warning. The last time I saw him was more than 13 days ago, when he forced me in his car to show my ID for a loan @ Masters Hard ware store, here in Adelaide, he forced me to buy his dinner, this happens often, every 2 weeks, then I don't hear from him, he changes his cell numbers and avoids me. I found out he has been cheating on me for the 4th time now, and this time I saw the evidence on the internet, a dating site "Badoo' where he met yet another single mother, this time with 'money'. So he only visited me in all my rental properties, for sex, money and that's it, until the sex stopped completely for a few years and now I know why, he has someone else to share this with and time. He became very verbally abusive, physically abusive and financially abusive, he never paid any money back that he stole from my pension. I just reported him to the Police last Friday, as I had enough of the Domestic Abuse and Violence, I have been 'led on' by this con artist, con man, and little did I know that the personality he had was always changed due to anti deps, and alcohol and other substances which I never found out about, but I know now who he is, he is a pathological liar, a serial cheat, and traitor, he has abused me so much that I cannot walk anymore, he has sexually abused me in way that ppl do not believe, and physically. He is a monster, and can I blame anti deps? I can blame the doctors for not recognizing he is a psychopath and sociopath, and that he is now with a woman who has a business with money, and he is going to use her too but he won't bash her like he bashed and hit me, cos' any other woman put stick this prick in the 'Big House' as soon as he lay a hand on her. I am the only woman he has physically abused, he is a con man and should be in jail, thanks to the anti deps. and methamphetamine he is taking!

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This is absolutely heartbreaking :'( I wish I could say something that would somehow help you. So sorry for your loss. I got shivers down my spine & the hair stood up on the back of my neck reading this. your poor boy :(

I came across this thread after a google search, I was on citalopram & after upping my dose from 20mg to 30mg I ended my 7 year relationship & started drinking & smoking & started a sexual relationship with someone new straight away (Id never so much as looked at another man while in a relationship) I eventually realised the medication was changing me & stopped it, however 3 years later I still feel like a different person, i don't feel like i have any real emotions. I feel terrible saying this, especially considering what happened to you, but i feel like i hate one of my own sons :( Before citalopram i was a brilliant mother, i am a different person & i hate it, i doubt i will ever be the old me again. i feel something needs to.be done to spread the word about the devastating effects of this drug

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Hi Steve,
Though my research I now know this can be a possibility I did explain to the prescribing Dr. that there is a family history in bipolar on my father's side of the family but she dismissed me. One of the main problems I have when these personality changes occur if one is not educated as to what it could mean the people closets to the patient and who know them best have no way of know what it means. Another is they don't tell people about the extreme difficultly coming off the drugs or that research shows pretty compelling evidence that the structural brain changes can be permanent and not for the good necessarily.

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Mari,

I am with you 100%. As someone who's been in the mental health system since I was a child, the care and diagnosis I received for many years has been a cruel joke on top of a cruel illness. I attempted suicide many times, my arms are covered in scars from self mutilation, and I've tried over a dozen psychiatric medications. Some I remember making me much more suicidal then I had been with no concern from my doctor.

I've been on a Lexapro xanax combo for over 10 years but have never felt great, just enough to keep living.

I'm so sorry for what you've been through, it's more then anyone should have to endure. I don't know if there's anything I can even say, except I know some of what your son felt. The pain is unimaginable and I can only hope he's at peace. Please don't feel at fault. You did everything you could, and I'm just as frustrated about doctors prescribing these medications that can have catastrophic results without even a basic understanding as to how they work.

My SO was manic for months before she allowed me to go with her to an appointment. As soon as I read my list of observations her diagnosis was changed to bipolar I, but she still wasn't given the appropriate medication and ended up in the hospital a week later.

The system is broken, the meds are a roll of the dice, and there is zero information provided. I was just prescribed an AAP today from my doctor of 20 years without any information.

If you'd like to talk sometime I'm on {edited for privacy}.

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Steve, thank you so much for your kind words. My heart goes out to you as well. So many I've talked to said the drugs don't really work but enable to blunt the depression so they can function to some degree. Not sure if you are familiar with TED talks but I encourage you to go on as they have so much good info there. I've found some info on vitamin D3 and fish oil that if you are defishant it can make remarkable changes regarding depression. Also negative ion air purifiers raise seratonin levels. They cost about $100.00 and was proven to work by israli Dr. In the 1950's. This is a personal observation/theory that we develop depression angxity and other symptoms because of trauma, injustice etc that happen to us early in life and create shame, helpless and hopelessness that must be worked through and felt with and ultimately self compassion must be embrased because most of the time you had no control as to what happened. Be kind. Especially to yourself. Each and everyone of us has worth. Even as our imperfect selves. Your contact info was blocked. I'm so driven to do something about this as people must be given options to keep their emotional heath just as important as their physical health. Acute stress was a huge factor in my son's situation.

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To all who read this research cytokines and dysfunction of the immune system. Deregulation of brain structures can cause depression. It's likely biological and few dr.s in mental health accept this. It took 50 years to discover peptic ulcers were caused by bacteria not emotional stress. Childhood fear and trauma can cause alteration in brain STRUCTURE as can hidden viruses and bacteria. There is a link. SSRI's flood all parts of the brain even the ones that don't need it. Talk theraphy to deal with changes you need to make in your life and a nutricianist as well as cortisol test to seeif immune system is over active would be a good place to start.

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