Was Badly Addicted To Hydrocodone/oxycodone/percocet For 7 Years. Am Now Free Thanks To Buprenorphine(suboxone). (Page 2)

Not real sure why exactly it is that I feel it necessary to post here in this forum. Maybe I'm hoping that someone looking for help will read this and make the same decision myself and my husband did. 7 years ago I was introduced to the joys and wonderous feelings of pain pills. Always working in the restuarant industry as a server/ bartender, the high I got from taking tabs or percs or whatever I could get my hands on led me to believe that I was a better server, better at my job, made more money, could talk to people more openly and be a happier person all around. At first, like the beginning 3 years I would take 1 to 3 lortab 10 mg in one day and be hopping around all over the place till the wee hours of the morning, talking everyone's head off and energized to the max. As the habit grew, it took more and more to get that same feeling. I didn't even realize how addicted I was. When the pills would run out, I would notice not feeling well, tired, flu like almost but just thought I was getting sick. I was entirely stupid to the fact that I was experiencing withdrawal symptoms. It wasn't until about the 5th year of my opiate abuse that I started to understand and research what was happening to me when my stash ran out. It hit me like a bag a bricks that my life was going downhill fast and something had to be done. But I couldn't stop. I still had to work. In a restaurant. I still had to function and without the pills functioning was not a possibility. Then me and my husband got married and decided we wanted a child more than anything in the world. She was the first best decision we ever made. I quit everything the day I found out I was having out little girl. October 12 2009. Surprisingly easy it was too. Pills, cigarettes, pot, everything was out the window and knowing she was inside me, needing me to make sure she was healthy as possible meant I could stop it all and not look back. Until the day she was born of course. Almost 4 hours of pushing does a very painful number on a woman's lady parts and I did not hesitate to call the nurse exactly at every 4 hour mark to bring my pain meds for the whole 2 days we spent in the hospital. Then they send you home with a small script of tabs, like 24. So slowly but surely I was spiraling back down the hole of addiction again. It was still under control until the day after Thanksgiving of 2010. My husband wound up in the hospital for a week after having a major surgery done for a condition called a "spontaneous pneumothorax". basically an air pocket in the lung cavity causing the lung to collapse a small percentage. very invasive and painful surgery though. He was out of work for like 6 weeks and you best believe that every one of those weeks was spent gobbling oxycodone by both of us like there was no tomorrow. It was over after that. no going back to sobriety. We must work now and the demands of a small child are beyond exhausting. In my mind, I could not take care of her without pills. I needed to be supermom. Until one day about 6 weeks ago, we woke up and had hit rock bottome. Because of our very expensive pill habbit, the power was turned off, the water got turned off, the phones/cable/internet was gone and even the tags and insurance on the both our cars were expired. All in one day. What an awakening and excuse my language, but what a piece of s*** I felt like. How could I do this to my now 18 month old little girl who is the light of our life and what we live for. It was not fair to her, and certainly not what I wanted life for the 3 of us to be like. Not to mention I had went back to college last August and was damn near flunking for all the time and energy I wasted texting, calling, and searching out my next fix. I couldn't study, couldnt pay attention in class. Couldn't do anything for this filthy love of pain pills. So on the day of "almost loosing everything" I decided it had to stop. Something had to give or I'd have to give up my little girl and I would rather die than live without her. It took me 2 weeks to get up the nerve to go a place called Recovery concepts about 15 miles from my home. 2 weeks of misery, though because I still had to keep finding our fixes because as we all know as addicts you cannot deal with withdrawal symptoms and still care for children and work. I didn't want the pills anymore but had to take them just to feel normal. So anyway, Recovery Concepts was the 2nd best decision I ever made in my life. The process of talking with counselors and having blood drawn and seeing the doctor all the while being in the first stages of withdrawal was long and I very nearly walked out as people were texting me telling me they had tabs for me to buy. But I could not leave. I kept thinking of my little girl and it was her that made me stay. I had to make life better for her and by God I was going to do it that day. it took about 4 hours of waiting and seeing counselors before I got my first 4mg dose of suboxone. After about 30 min I noticed the cold sweats going away. It wasn't quite enough for me though, as I was up to 100mg plus of lortab per day. At 12 mg of suboxone, I felt perfect. I went home to my husband feeling like a million bucks and exclaiming that going there was the best thing I ever did. He started going the next week and our lives have completely changed for the better since then. He is at 16 mg of suboxone (16.00$/day) and I at 12 mg(14.00$/day), which to some may seem a hefty price, but when you consider we were spending anywhere from 100 to 150/day on tabs or roxy's or percs or whatever, well we are now saving quite a bit of moolah. We go early in the morning to take our dose and we feel great all day! I have the energy I need to go to school and take care of our baby and the house. He feels great enough to work all day and come home and play with the baby and the most important thing is that we are happy doing all these things. I think the suboxone actually has helped me also because I was going into a severe depression still addicted to opiates. I was so upset with myself and life and I just couldn't be happy knowing how stuck we were. Everything has changed for us now, and I am so thankful for the clinic and for my friend that told us about the place. Suboxone gives you another chance at life. At least for me it has. Get off pain pills without withdrawals and long term recovery support for people who have had a long term habit. I just could not have done it alone, even if I had toughed out the withdrawals. My life was centered around finding, buying, eating and loving pain pills and I could not have won the fight of quitting alone. I hope this helps someone out there and if not, well I feel better telling someone my story as no one in my life but my husband knows it. Feel free after reading this to ask any questions. I will be glad to answer as best I can. And i beg you, if you are reading this searching for way out, consider a recovery clinic in your area or doctor that can prescribe you suboxone. it can change your life. thanks for reading.

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ok so now u have gone from spending $100.00 to$150.00 a day to spending $31.00 for yourself n ur hubbie.You have just traded one drug for another,and might i add a ""MUCH" worse and HARDER drug to wihdrawl from.So are you/Treatment center cutting your doses down daily?Ive been on Opiated Drugs for 7yrs now having NO disc's in my back!I got Disabled due to the Extreme Condition i have.Ive seen people go w/o suboxone and 1 has actually commited suiside!SUBOXONE if u wanna stay high is the cheapest way to go for both of you.Suboxone is a Drug that gets u off all that junk,5 days under supervision of a liscensed Dr.and u will be DETOXED from all pain meds!You see its going to take time for your body to Produce Dopamine,and your Endorphines that we had b4 getting Addicted to Opiates.Do yourself a favor and if not for you,then ur lil gurl,find a liscensed Physcian who specalializes in "SUBUTEX",and tell him ur story and get him to get you totally OFF all OPIATES/suboxone.Honey i know been there and gurl up be a strong woman and get on a 5-7 day subutex regimen.You then will not have to go to all these clinics that are just a legitamate drug Supplier.Ur still on Pills to make you feel great,i know i was on suboxone and let me tell you,the time frame i had to wait till i could get on suboxone(u have to be in full w/d"s,or else it will throw u into FULL BLOWN W/D"S!!!!Nothing nice,im now back on my Regular meds and just having to realize this is going to be my life,my injurys are to severe to take no Pain Meds!TRUST ME,google subutex and find a Dr. in ue area that will help u become drug free.DO IT FOR YOUR DAUGHTER IF U CANT DO IT .Godbless honey please take my advice!I am an L.P.N.,and a Licensed Med Tech so i know the WHOLE DEAL,give me a call if u'd like to talk {edited for privacy}, kim.

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Danielle, just checkin in to see if your suboxone is working out for you and if you talked to your doctor so you wont be so nervous about the whole thing.(been there and know exactly how you feel) plz let me know if i can help you out with any info. thats one thing i have always not liked is the stigma that goes with getting pain meds...until 2010 when they started implementing all these data bases and not giving doctors the right to write the oxies or get busted. so alot of us in florida thanx to all the junkies and people who get meds and sell them for whatever they want, we are screwed. I can say it seems like this entire situation reached its peak worst last summer 2012 and has steadily been more available on time at the pharmacy, etc where 2 months ago, if you didnt know the pharmacist(and even then who knows)you were screwed. "nope sorry dont have enough to fill, or Cant take on any new patients, or" WHATEVER. different story each month but has been getting better as alot of the junkies have switched to heroin or crack or meth(prolly most on crystal methg cause its cheap) and lasts all day and night times 3-4 days. From what I read. I am lucky in my teens all we did is smoke weed and i dropped lsd few times but that was it in 1989-1990. no roofies, no extacy yet on street, no real high grade weed until late 80's. all the designer drugs that became available in the 90's and the ones that are all over the usa now(i forgot prescription pain, benzos whatever)
sorry for rambling...got way off topic. good luck sweety, have a blessed weekend!

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I cannot agree. If you are able to deal with the pain and it will take a little while for your bodies natural dopamine to build up and things will hurt more than normal for a little while depending how many years youve been on opiates, etc.
I dealt without pain meds as long as i could before last october 2011. I got my neck surgery in aug 2010 4 fusions c4-c7, spinal rods, stabilizers, the whole kitchen sink....had united healthcare and was on last leg of cobra when i began to notice this problem that turned out disabling me today. I got alot of my feeling back from the surgery but deal with a great deal of pain and before i was always able to deal with the injury without pain meds and it is hard. But I will tell you from a person whos been there, quit if you can do it of course for your daughter but most of all do it for yourself and you will one day put it all in the rear view and get on with your life. I wish I didnt have to take the meds for me to function....I hate that...I like to be in control all the time and i am not anymore, I am learning to do better but its hard. good luck and keep us posted

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What an incredible story. I made my calls yesterday to get on Suboxone. My pain management doctor will not deal with it telling me that I would just be exchanging one opiate for another so I have been researching on my own. I am feeling really good about my decision to do something about my Norco addiction before it does me in. I am curious as how you are doing at this point and are you still on Suboxone and if so do you plan on getting off that someday?

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Pain Doctors like mine wont deal with suboxone because using suboxone is specialized for DETOX....not pain management...this is why your dr told you to kick rocks...it wasnt personall...hes just not qualified.

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Thanks for your story it's made me stick with my appointment on Wednesday to start my suboxzine program. Good luck to y'all in your recovery, I was on the methadone maintenance program and after 3 years of staying clean I relapsed so I'm going back to my clinic but only this time to start the suboxzine.

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Good luck getting off suboxone. Took me a year and was the worst withdrawal symptoms ever. Good luck.

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I was on Oxycodone 30 mg 4 x day and more than 4 sometimes, for 3 yrs. My ex and I both were very addicted to it. We could not function in our daily lives without it and was always on the "hunt" for it when our rx's ran out early bc of our abuse. It was a life of hell. One day we both decided that together we would just go "cold turkey" and get off of them. I'm here to tell you that it is a very difficult thing to go through..but can be done as we both did it. We have both been oxycodone-free for over a year and a half now! I went through some bad withdrawals..throwing up for days, sweats, diarrhea, pain in back and legs, muscle spams and twitching..but in the end I made it and I am so HAPPY I no longer take that "wicked" drug. I was always on a prescription for it..but always ran out early. If you truly want off of this drug it can be done, "cold turkey" but you have to be deternined and not get weak and give up. It isn't easy but you can do it. After a couple of months I began to feel better. The worst of it lasted about a month. For the ppl who really need it..or think they really need it..well, that's a personal choice. I was told by treating physician that there is a difference between addiction and dependence. Addiction is where you will go out and rob..steal, and sometimes kill for a drug. Dependence is just like a diabetic needing insulin to live and function. I was the latter. I was very dependent on that drug. Good luck to all. For all the trouble and exhuberant prices you all have to pay for this drug and all the problems in finding it...going off it would get rid of these daily interruptions in your life. Good luck to all!

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Thank you for sharing your story! Almost nails ME down to a tee-I am on the strips now (after those years of chasing my dang tail, every am the 1st thought was: where am I gonna get my pills 2day, if 'she' doesn't have them-then where else? huh??? NOW!!!lol now but then it sucked!!) The 1st am I awoke to thoughts NOT of drugs, I had to pat myself on the back-!!! Initially for ME, I was started on 2 of 8's />>, the stop sign shaped pills-under the tongue, yuck. Rotted my teeth, thank them very much!! YET & BUT they worked well!! I am now down to 3 of the 2mg strips & most the time I just take 2 & half--& next visit I will actually be reduced to 2. (I was just practicing, lol) It takes a very long time for MY brain to stop thinking it NEEDS something for my body. I swear I am 2 ppl in one, lol my poor family~!! Do what YOU gotta do, my friend-you will know when it's right time for YOU. I let so many other ppl control my life that it still makes me ill if I share with a friend, what meds I take (sponsor & that type, the rest can KMA!!) & NOT be embarrassed. Some folks think 'you aren't clean unless you are clean'. Well I say- BITE ME!!!! I am such a ppl pleaser that my guilt over takes my wise minded thinking-I am 56 & it'll prob take another 30 yrs, God willing & the creek don't rise! YAY for yoU!!! I hope that you write- & keep it all in 1 notebook unlike myself w/notes & notebooks scattered all over my place. I also get the fast talking- & super woman feeling at times & also I FORGET-things, like who I have told what- so please take that into your thoughts for the future. Yes, Suboxone saved MY life!!! Good luck!

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Thank you. Reading your post is.like reading my life. Thanks for sharing

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I really appreciate your vety lengthy detailed testimony regarding your addiction. However, I think I speak for a large portion of readers who suffer chronic pain from illnesses for which pain meds are but ONE method of treatment. Unfortunately for us it is people who take pain meds for the "high" that have made it increasingly difficult for those who really need them
To get them. Worse still chronic pain sufferers are treated liike criminals. It had become a frustrating and embarassing expetience to get a schedule ll prescription fillef these days and.as previous posts to this list attest, some pharmacists have resortef to lying about the availability of pain meds.
Now on a very personal note.... I would.give ANYTHING to be pain free..to have the option you had to Stop taking the one thing that helps me to have some semblance of my regular life. Apparently you never experienced the debilitation from degenerative osteoarthritis. I pray that you always have the Choice not to take pain meds.
No doubt you may have found a small audience of people who will benefit from your experience. I just happen not to be one of them.

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No neef to apologize
I feel the same.way and experience the dame thing you do.
Hang in thrte Friend.

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Glad you shared as you seem to be telling the story of my life....so glad you won the battle I'm still in the trenches.....

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This sounds so much like my life right now. I'm still searching for help. No one in Indiana takes new patients so I'm not getting it can't get help so I'm stuck. Don't want to be a pill head anymore. Friend have me Suboxone and omg took me from horrible to a better Mommy thinking right. But now I'm without that help from her and hitting Rock bottom again with my babies. They don't deserve this from their Mommy. I'm feeling like death. Have no family no way to Get help. Been scammed for all my money and pray daily for strength

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Going to see a Dr. in April. Your story is like mine. Before they start you on suboxone do you have to be completely off other meds? My body can't take the withdrawls with the blood pressure problems i have. Will I be given meds that first visit?

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To you that speaks for I say is more excuses to take painkillers. I do agree that it is hard for people with actual chronic pain they can't get painkillers for the ones that do it for the high. what your not understanding you are addicted to painkillers just like the rest of us and it was starting for chronic pain there's other things out there that work just as good as a narcotic painkiller. but again the problem is after taking these you don't want to admit your addiction and ask for help that's OK but for some of us we want a different path. I have been on those narcotics for over 15 years from my bone disease and my other issues that I don't have to post. I too need something for pain but I am a true believer that there something better than narcotics. reason because I have had em we just don't want to admit they work we'd like or narcotics and you are addicted just as the rest of us just the small group that stalking wants to get better and the sharing the story so I hope you find a group that makes excuses for painkillers good luck with that

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I have a question for you my husband is back and forth all the time with suboxone and hydromorphine he insufflates them but denies it but I'm not stupit. One day he's on the couch in a horrible mood the next he's singing and telling me sweet things it's like being on a rollarcoaster ride all the time it's been 7 years of this and I'm getting really bad anxiety because of it we have two kids that don't deserve a dad that is always to preoccupied for them need to make a decision but it's a hard one

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I love your story I can't say much but I can sooooo relate. Although I want you to know I envy you and hope one day I can be as strong as you. And plz plz keep up the good work. The day I get as strong as you I will repost I wish we could give numbers id love to talk to someone lol I'm a mom of 5.

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I have lived with a husband that has been addicted to opiates for 8 years I have grown tierd of the lies the broken promises. I'm ashamed to say I have lost faith every week is the same he takes a low does of suboxone when he starts to get sick and then gets high off hydromorphine I see his mood switch he goes from being hyper and sweating bullets to agitated and on the couch and extremely mean. I am 32 with two gorgeous kids I love my husband but I need more then this for my children and I . Does anyone have any advice ? He has tried rehab 3 times and failed

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Hi Lindsay, I hate to say this but not until he,s truely ready to get straight things aren,t gonna change. I was your husband except without the subs. I was young at the time. Fortunately we didn,t have children. My wife got sick of it and just left. I,m not saying that this is what you should do. You could try alanon. It,s not just for loved ones of alcoholics. At least you,d get some support and be around others in the same boat.

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