I Want To Commit Suicide That Is Why I Want The Cyanide Pill (Page 4)

I want to commit suicide, that is why i want the cyanide pill.

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i'm not a doctor.are you? or do u know 1 that u can get it from 4 me?

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Wow thats so sad. Didn't know people were so alone.

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I truly feel for you Martin. Do you have any family??

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God himself do not have free will. Who is he go give us the free will.

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It is if you have no job, no money, steeped in debt and getting worse, and you're also a carer so you can't go away even if you had the money. When I say 'you' that's me in this case. I cannot look for a job due to my long term illness. That's why I need cyanide - I've been like this for 20 years and I don't want another 20 years of it!

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i am from india. i want to find cyanide pills. where can i get? is it available online?

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Make ricin. Google the recepi

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If your from India might I sugest the local pong ping tree I believe its called.

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I have been reading your posts Martin and I want you to know that I understand; I also believe that we should be given enough credibility to know what we want for our own futures, not feel forced to follow advice other people offer.

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I tried to kill myself two times but failed. So I decided to try cyanide pills, but I don't know where I get. So plzz tell me where I can get potassium cyanide or any poison which kill me plzz help me

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I'd also like to know where to get cyanide pills. I've been caring for my tiresome f**** mother for 20 years now on my own and I can't see a way out. I cant remember my last day out holiday, holiday or even the last time I smiled. Life is one long drudgery and on top of that I also suffer with epilepsy. I JUST WANT TO END IT ALL - HELP

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Thanks for sharing suicide issues. Many many people feel depressed (1 in 5 people in their lives) and may experience feelings of suicide. Often people who talk about these issues are quite serious about completing a suicide, at other times such as posting on a blog here means that part of them is still wanting to live as well, otherwise why would they be insisting on only one method of suicide such as cyanide and essentially calling out for help? I would suggest you contact a local suicide helpline. Lifeline and Samaritans are common helplines - these are anonymous services and a good start. I would also suggest seeking a friend or trusted person and asking them just to reflectively listen to you and guide them as to how you want them to respond to you (eg. please don't offer me a solution, I just need to share my ideas and solve my own problems by talking about the pros and cons of suicide.... can you listen for me to work this out please?
I recommend the Youtube clip: "richie live for tomorrow suicide"

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There is no God otherwise we wouldn't all be in this state!

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SUZI, I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE FEELING LIKE EVERYTHING IS JUST HOPELESS AND THAT THERE SEEMS TO BE NOTHING POSITIVE IN YOUR LIFE. HOWEVER, I CARE AND I DON'T KNOW YOU; BUT I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO GET YO KNOW YOU AND HELP YOU FIND THE HAPPINESS THAT ALL OF US DESERVE. I UNDERSTAND BEING IN DEBT AND STRUGGLING WITH HOW AM I GOING TO PAY THE BILLS. IT IS ONE STEP AT A TIME AND PUTTING ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF ANOTHER. I CAN UNDERSTAND THE RESPONSIBILITIES YOU HAVE TAKING CARE OF YOUR MOTHER BECAUSE I HAVE KNOWN SEVERAL PEOPLE IN THE SAME SITUATION WHO FEEL JUST LIKE YOU. THEY FOUND SOMEONE THEY COULD TRUST TO COME IN AND TAKE CARE OF THERE PARENT ONCE A WEEK SO THEY COULD JUST GO OUT AND HAVE FUN. I HAVE DONE IT FOR NO CHARGE BECAUSE I CARED ABOUT THE PERSON WHO NEEDED MY HELP. IT DID THE PERSON A WORLD OF GOOD AND THEY STARTED TO FEEL BETTER. THE GOVERNMENT HAS A LOT OF PROGRAMS TO HELP PEOPLE IN YOUR SITUATION TO WHERE THEY WILL PAY YOU EVERY MONTH DUE TO YOU STAYING HOME CARING FOR A PARENT. YOU CAN ALSO FILE FOR A BANKRUPTCY 13 TO CLEAR YOU OF ALL YOUR DEBTS AND IT WILL ALLOW YOU TO START OVER AND GIVE YOU A FRESH NEW START. SOMETIMES ALL OF US BECOME OVERWHELMED WITH LIFE AND ALL THE THINGS WE HAVE TO DO; HOWEVER AT THE END OF THE DAY YOU CAN TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND KNOW YOU MADE IT THROUGH ANOTHER DAY AND IT WILL MAKE YOU STRONGER AND YOU WILL BE HAPPIER WHEN THINGS START COMING TOGETHER AND YOU HAVE MONEY COMING IN, SOME TIME TO YOURSELF AND YOU DON'T HAVE ANY DEBT HANGING OVER YOU.. PLEASE THINK ABOUT ALL OF WHAT I WROTE TO YOU....SINCERELY, NOCTURNAL STATE...

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I stopped blogging on boards, but I followed a link here, and I am glad I did............ The Lord our Savior is the answer for your pain. He is the REAL answer. Him alone and not people, although he will bring certain good people into your path who will aid you in staying strong and finishing your race on this earth. That's all I can say. People who are at their end and suffering can ask to "go home" to him. They can ask God to come for them, because they're old, in pain, and ready. Friends and I have prayed for the Lord to take sick, elderly Christians out of their suffering, and he's done it. That's okay. But if you have years and life ahead, you must try EVERY avenue -- including HIM! People commit suicide every day and their hardened hearts have never allowed them to go to him. I don't understand that. I believe they just don't want to know him or to do what he asks of them. They don't want to stop doing bad things while they are alive. You may not believe in God, but he is always there for you... waiting. He's always waiting for people to choose him. He doesn't force himself on us. He wants your love. He wants you to be with him in eternity. And that, my dear, is your purpose in life -- to get THERE and be with him. Your purpose is not to live like a celebrity or to have the biggest house or to have so many material things and wild fun. That's what this society treasures, but the Lord said all that is going to pass away. And people who are first in this life, will be last in the next one. He gives us some enjoyment because we still have to live here. Without any joy, none of us would want to live day-to-day. The purpose of your life is simply for you to learn of him and to "choose" him for yourself so that one day you will be with him and the rest of the family of God (fellow children of God) forever in a paradise. We are brothers and sisters in Christ. God promises you "joy unspeakable." He promises that if you choose him here, any pain or suffering you experience here will be a thing of the past. You'll be so happy in the next life, you won't even think about what happened here. It won't matter. You will never cry again. Your creator knows how to make you happy forever. Don't you want to be there? I sure do!!! That's why I'm here, and I have suffered ALL my life. But I hold on to the promise. I want HIS will done, and not my own. The bible says as far as the earth is from the heavens, that's how much higher his thinking is than ours. That's why we cannot comprehend everything about God, but once we know his goodness and love, we trust him into eternity. You are his precious creation. He loves you! There isn't another soul created exactly like you. That blows my mind! That makes you special and unique to him........... I believed in God, but I wasn't ready to follow his ways when I was young. I remember telling him something like, "Lord I haven't lived enough. I haven't experienced things that other people have, so I'm not ready yet. I still want to have more fun. But at the end of this life, I want to be with you in paradise." After that, my life quickly went through a series of miraculous changes. I had not seen any of it coming. I was finally able to do some things I wondered about, and it brought me nothing but heartache! All those things I thought would make me happy, did not. After nearly 10 years of that, I was ready to give my life to God and accept his son Jesus as my savior. I was so sure about it because he was so real to me. No phoniness. I said, "Lord, make me into the person you want me to be. I give you the permission. I give you my life. I just know I want to be where you are one day. I want to see your face and I want you to be pleased with me." Right after I'd made up my mind, I knew I should get baptized, but I was not part of a church at the time. Then the Lord did some other miraculous things. He brought people my way who led me to get baptized. It was so amazing! HE did it, and I know he did it. Then, many things happened that I see as God's way of strengthening a new believer. He proves himself to you and you can never forget it. It takes humbleness to approach him. He is moved when people are humble. Many hurting people are instead angry and they go to God demanding and hateful. You should not do that. He created you for himself. That's the simple truth. The motivation was love. That's why parents have their own kids. They do it for themselves, not for the child's sake. They want their own child to love and nurture. And God's love is perfect, not like ours............ I've been a baptized Christian for 20 years. I have never thought of backsliding. I am an attractive lady, but I did not want to marry again, and somehow God changed my desires and I've been able to live clean in that way. That's really amazing! I have also been attacked. Christians will be attacked by the spirits of darkness. There is an entire unseen spiritual world that is battling for control of your soul. One day our eyes will be able to see what was around us. Attacks are just going to happen sooner or later. I've dealt with much death and sickness. I've had depression since I was little. I've felt like giving up, but I always go to Lord and say, "Lord, I don't know if I can make it, I am so down now. Please carry me." He WILL do it! Sometimes he makes a situation look impossible and then if you cry out to him, he will ACT immediately! He does not like to see his children suffer. Your faith gets stronger when that happens. It's happened to me several times. What do I do then? I tell everyone who will listen that GOD did it. He changed the situation for me, because I was hopeless and I couldn't see any way out. I give him 100 percent the credit. And then I remember these things during the next struggle I go through. Even though I have been down to the lowest, since I gave my life to him, I have never been able to say he does not exist. Instead, the hardest thing for me is that I get tired, physically and emotionally from hardships. Sometimes you are more tired than anything else. You're tired of going through the same hurting emotions again and again. It's almost burnout. That's when you want to give up because it's like pouring salt on a wound. I go through hills and valleys all the time. What I remember is that God said he works out everything for the good of those who love him. In other words, nothing in a believers life is a mistake. It all serves a purpose. He is slowly changing your character through these hills and valleys. He has gotten me to the point where I don't look to other people for my help. I always go to Him first. Changing your circumstances is nothing difficult for him to do. You have to believe that. He can bring you a purpose for living. He can bring you fellowship (friendships) with others. He can provide for your needs, financial and otherwise. Once you are a his, he is always working on your "character," moving bad things away from you, changing your mind about stuff. And getting you healthy enough to help others. Some people will dislike you, but other people and believers will see God's love in you and want to be around you. You wake up one day and you're like, "Oh my goodness, I don't want to do that anymore." God changes your heart and mind through his Holy Spirit. That's usually accomplished through hardships and heartache. That's when people change the most................. I want you to know that I will pray for you. God bless you and keep you.

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Rick, I don't believe you really love him. If you did, you would have an attitude like Job. You would be suffering miserably, but you would still not curse him or even want to die cursing him. You can be honest and angry with him. He can take it. As a Christian, you will suffer. Jesus Christ suffered, and he did it for you and me. Life is not one big party. If you're not committed to God and his will, you are committed to this world and the things in it. If you hold on to God and let him change you, you will start to desire other things. He may be trying to get you there. He's not playing with you. He's changing you.

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Kel, you are only 31 years old! I was depressed since I was knee high (practically all my life, and it may partly be due to a possible brain injury, hitting my head). Life is a struggle, but I want God to take me out. I want to finish the life he gave me and go into the next one victoriously. I want to be in the presence of the Almighty and I want him to be pleased with me and the race I ran here. If I live to old age and am suffering in sickness that is unbearable, I'm sure God will call me home if I ask him. I trust him to do that.

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Lillian, it's true. You get closer to God and you can lose interest in what's in this life. Even something as powerful as sex. It happened to me, but it was a blessing since I didn't want to marry again, yet I wanted to be able to stay celibate and not struggle with sexual sin. When life gets very tough, simply put, you have to have a purpose. For many true Christians, it becomes less about yourself and reaching other people for Christ. That work goes on until you die. When you realize how precious mankind is to God and that all of us are really only here to make our way back to God so that we can be with him eternally in peace and happiness, it gives you something VERY important to live for.

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Dear Rick. I hope you know you're not God's child just to have a happy, wonderful, cheerful life all the time. That is a lie. It's not all about you getting money and being a success in this world. It's about doing HIS will, so that you will be able to stand before him with joy and confidence at history's end........ I'm glad you feel better now, but you can go through many valleys before you leave this life. The Lord has to be #1. It's what we strive for in our lives because none of this here will matter there.

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Don't believe that stupid devil and his legions! God cares for you. Not only that, he loves you! He created you for his purposes and he wants you with him in perfect peace in eternity. That's all that really matters. Live in this life, have joy to get by, but fulfill your purpose. In the end, it will be worth it.

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