Long Term Suboxone

I was 5 years into my nurseing career when I crashed and burned hard. At the end I was misusing over 100mg of morphine /day, or 8mg hydromorphone, or 300mg meperidine. Went to heroin after getting caught and losing license. 3 to 5g/day if I could. So I was a very heavy user for 9 years or so. Went to rehab, did 35 days in patient. That first 30 was bad. Insomnia, PAWS, depression all pretty bad. But in patient, with 20 or more other survivors, structured days etc made it possible. After discharge (I went 3000 miles from home for rehab) I returned and plugged into recovery network. Meetings, sponsor, phone calls etc. First 2 weeks out (day 35-50) were tough. Restless leg, cramps, diarrhea, insomnia, depression, anxiety, lethargy, all part of PAWS. Friends in the rooms said it would pass. Should feel better by 60 days. 60 days came, still a little crampy, but overall physical feeling was better. However, depression, anxiety, insomnia still as bad as ever. Friends in the rooms said "it will get better". Continued to work on recovery, and at 90 days I was physically fine. But the depression, anxiety, and insomnia continued and got worse. Friends in the rooms said "you should be fine by now". I decided to give it more time, after all, what else could I do, use? No. I went 11 more days. Each one a nightmare of depression, anxiety and another sleepless night. On day 101, I took 8mg suboxone. I was fine. Couldn't believe it. Didn't get high, didn't even feel a thing. But wasn't incopassitated by depression. Wasn't anxious, slept that nite. Since I have played with the dosage, up and down. The bottom line for me is 8mg/day or the depression, anxiety and insomnia will return. 48 hours after last dose, depression is strong. 72hours, and I become non functional. Constant triggering, obsessing on negative emotions, crying, hopelessness becomes so paramount, I have difficulty doing normal things. But with the suboxone, all those feelings seem to be dulled. I still can think of them, but I don't get so wrapped up in it, hurt by it. I can function normaly. I hate the fact that I need this med. I wish I didn't. But it has made the catostrophic agony that is my life bearable.

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Wow! I am so sorry about everything you've been through, but you are truly an amazing person for still living and realizing there is more to life!

As to the Suboxone, have you considered looking into regular treatment with it?

It really has worked well for many people that have tried it and turned out to be the one thing that enabled them to become drug free. However, it is done at a very, very slow taper that sometimes takes several years.

Learn more Suboxone details here.

If you want to check out more information on it and look for a doctor in your area, they have a website suboxone.com

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