Trying To Get The Courage To Stop Suboxone (zubsolv)

I've been on suboxone (now zubsolv) for a couple of years now. I really want to get off of them, but without them I'm extremely depressed and have absolutely no energy. I've tapered myself down from 2 mg to now .25 of one zubsolv. I have been on this quarter for one week Sunday. Im so scared of withdrawals, and I am in a situation where withdrawing heavily isn't an option. I am in an extremely difficult program in school, while also doing clinicals. I am in school or clinicals 5 days a week 40 hours a week. I got into pain pills when I was 18 because my boyfriend was taking them. We were both on 30 mg a day. We are both now on the suboxone (zubsolv). He gets prescribed them, but we both take them. With my school situation, I'm petrified that I will be denied into the hospitals if they know I am on the suboxone. We do take drug panels, but they don't evaluate me for suboxone so it doesn't come up. NOBODY in my life except for my boyfriend knows I have EVER done drugs. And I'm sick and tired of this awful secret. My doctor does not know either. My Dr. Just put me on vyvanse 30 mg for my ADD. I hate this about myself. And its even hard to struggle with this addiction by myself. My boyfriend currently takes two suboxone (zubsolv) a day. I don't think he has any desire to try and taper. And if this is the case, I may need to leave him once I get myself off of this medicine. He and I have talked about this before so this wouldn't be a surprise to him. I guess my question would be, how do I keep going down from this .25? Should I quit from this dose or keep going down? Will the withdrawals be bad? Should I keep taking it until I'm taking crumbs?

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I can really relate to your story. I'm on the 8/2 films but I'm taking half of a half and I'm not sure if I should just keep taking less until like you said I'm taking crumbs. I did speak to a doctor about this about a year ago and was told to start trying to skip a day NOT take less and less but rather try skipping one day and then after about a week or so of that try skipping two days. I've been on it for five years and have two children. I don't EVER want them to see their mom struggle. I was an opiate addict for a year and was saved by suboxone. I also am bipolar and have ADHD but I'm on lithium and also concerta. I do feel that emotionally I'm in a great place and haven't felt that way in years. I would just like to get off the subs and have my life back. If you have any advice I'll take it. Also don't be ashamed addiction is a disease not a moral deficiency. It does NOT mean that you are weak or anything like that. I'm sure you are an amazing women. Unbearably addiction is looked at horribly wrong if you had cancer NO one would look at you the way they see addicts yet they are just the same. A disease that eats away the person.

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