Pain Suffering And Pain Doctors...
UpdatedI'm 65, have 2 herniated (mildly) discs, l4 and l5S1-also, lumbo-sacral degenerative disc disease, disc bulge and hypertrophic arthropathy producing mild spinal stenosis at L3-4 and L5-S1. I have a minor disc protrusion at L4 L-5 w/ hyperthrophic change and mild foraminal stenosis. On L4-5 where I have a mild left central disc protrusion there is a partial annular fissure (tear). I'm reading from my MRI taken on Feb. 2014. It also states that there are hypertrophic facets and ligamentum flavum which are noted diffusely. There is also mild central canal and bilateral foraminal stenosis at L3-4. At L5-S1 where the disko-osteophytic bulge there is a hypperthropic arthropathy. Also, on L4-5 the bilateral foraminal stenosis is worse on the left. Okay. Now for my history - I was a waiter for nearly 35 years and carried heavy oval trays with my right hand. There is a noticeable bulge on the right side of my back, naturally. Back in 1982, I tore L4 & L5-S1 lifting weights, a year later had a laminectomy. Was never the same, the sciatic pain would come and go, flared up occasionally. Having intercourse was usually an embarrassing problem to say the least. They say size doesn't matter, movement does. In my case it wasn't the size, but the movements I could not do, at least comfortably! During my 40's I developed (hereditary and environmental) coronary artery disease, and even though I've never had a heart attack, I currently have 8 (eight!!!) coronary stents in my heart arteries! The first four were placed in 2006, the last one two months ago. I was not quite used to living with my back pain and accompanying sciatica and the elephant sitting on my chest (the angina) for many, many years, so let's just say I know what pain is. I know what muscle pain is, I know what nerve pain is. Muscle pain is dull, it throbs, it aches. Nerve pain on the other hand is having a fire-spitting dragon up your ass branding you with a hot poker!!! I always laugh when pain doctors (and even regular doctors, who are more sensitive and compassionate towards pain patients than 'pain specialists') ask, condescendingly of course, "..what type of pain is it...?" It's like these mothers took a class called 'Condescension 101 for jerks...In my lifetime and mind you, while always (well, almost 'always' ) working, I m ust have seen over 150 to 200 doctors... internists, general, this and that, orthopaedic, neurosurgeons, pain specialists, even once a chiropractor who, if I ever see him again, will beat the living daylights out of him for the pain he caused me! It lasted for months!!! I've had eight kidney stones, stones in my bile duct once (..keep on drinking soda..), my gallbladder was removed during emergency surgery 'cause of stones, and a few others, including the usual broken noses while behaving like an a**hole. I know my pain meds. I hate codeine. Makes me nauseous. Demerol for kidney stones, kinda' reminded me of 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds' by the Beatles, warm and trippy and alas (!!!) I would not feel the stones! Morphine makes me want to throw up. Dilaudid, well, 0.4mg's is never enough. I kinda' wish the bile duct stones would have made themselves at home a little longer, but the doctors were in a hurry.
Percocets were okay, but my liver isn't really the best, and the acetaminophen in them rules them out. Norcos are out too. They once gave Valium 5mg in an emergency room to my brother because he was passing a large kidney stone back in Puerto Rico in the 80's and as he laid in the floor, tears streaming down his face, I got down on my knees and got up close to his face with my ear so I could hear him and all he was able to whisper was, "Kill that motherf*****' doctor, please go find me some relief somewhere..." And this coming from an adult male, a strait-laced serious lawyer who had never even smoked a cigarette in his life!! Well, I had Medrol six-packs to no avail, doctors who shot me up with steroids-anti-inflammatories (more of that in a second), cortisone, I've endured the terrible epidureals, as the Hindu doctors said "Ooooh, u'll just feeel a litttle pinch heeer.." I've had TENS machines the size of small Fiats hooked up to my back, I've had weird massages, I've had NSAID's meds (which brings me to the anti-inflammatories; nsaid's most common side effects are cardiac arrythmia's, and I have cardiac arrythmia, and STILL (Neurontin) a pain doctor had me take one (she prescribed 90!!!). A half-hour after I took it I have no memory of what happened except I woke up naked next to my bed in the nursing home with no memory of any dreams or anything! Thank God my roommate is a quadraplegic! I got dressed and ran downastairs for dinner since it was 6:40 and the janitor (!!!) said "Good morning!" Oh my God, I thought it was 6:40 PM!!! It was like a date-rape drug!!! Which folks, and I truly did not mean to take you hostage, brings me to the point...wht can't a 'pain-doctor-specialist-' give me what I want, what I need right now as I'm doing cardiac=rehab for my heart and my back feels like it's exploding, a simple prescription of oxycodone10mgs. 4-6 times a day for several weeks so that my quality of life while I'm in the nursing home doing 7-days a week of mind-bending physical and occupational therapy remains somewhat in the 'almost normal' range. Why must I limp around here wanting to kill everybody, even the people I think I like, while they have me eating Norco10's. My pain level is usually a 9-10 after therapy and always above a 5 or 6 without. And I mean always, not just when I'm in here doing my therapy. I've learned it's not even a matter of doctors being concerned about people getting addicted, it's solely about their FEAR & TERROR of losing their DEA license to prescribe. I'm sick and tired of that. Last doctor I saw had the gall to tell me "You have made me waste 20 minutes of my life explaining why I should prescribe these to you!!!" The frickin' ego...the only thing I could yell back at him was "Dude, you're maybe 45 yrs-old-I'm 65 and I have the Grim Reaper standing 3 feet behind me!!! Your Grim Reaper is eight blocks away!!! Now who's time is worth more than who's? --stay tuned. Sergio. p.s. ..by the way, I REALLY need a doctor who'll legitimately prescribe me the oxycodone10's, 15's or even 30's. Then we'll work on weaning me off. I'm in Chicago and have all the documentation in the world. Please, dude, don't be shy but be helpful and compassionate. You've no idea, I don't sleep, I don't think I can take too much of this, but at least i'm very, very sane.
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