Pain Medication Shame (Page 8)
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First of all, I hate taking pain meds but I was almost completely bedridden for 2 yrs. They gave me my life back and I'll be grateful for the rest of my life. My insurance company dropped me right before I was gonna have surgery to get some relief. So I had no choice but to go with the pain meds. I've been on oxycodone 30/150 per month (5 a day) and MS Contin 200mg 2 times daily since 2009. Had breaks when I could. My point is, nobody knows what my daily life is like. I feel ashamed every month getting refills. Maybe it's in my head but the staff at the pharmacy gives me that "pill seeker" look. I guess all that matters is my doctor trusts me and he knows my complete history. I know I'm not taking them for fun. I'd much rather be normal. Can anyone relate to what I'm saying?

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REPORT

Roman, I have had spinal cervical fusion along with 3 herniated discs and degerative disc disease for a number of years, and have been imon pain meds now for at least 10. I was told some time ago by someone who worked at a locally owned mom and pop pharmacy in my town the she couldn’t understand why I put that stuff ( pain meds)in my body. I detected the sarcastic undertones in her comment, and politely replied that maybe if she could live a week in my shoes and see how hard getting out of bed was, she would understand. It shut her up quick. I get the shame, but also get that the meds are the only hope I have I’ve some kind of a normal existence. Weigh the two, you’ll see what I mean.

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Feel the same way you get looked at like ur doing something wrong n ur being judged n some pharmacies wont fill the scripts for ya its sad how we are judged n now being cut down how are we supposed to have any quality of life

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Working in a pharmacy I know first hand what they think about people on C2 pain meds. They always say here comes so and so first thing in the morning right when we open the doors to pick up their pain meds. They do act like everyone that gets these meds are just addicts and they don’t really need them. They think people shouldn’t need to be on them. And once I asked my boss about someone that only wanted a certain manufacturer of oxycodone and he said we don’t want people like that coming to our pharmacy! I’m thinking wow that’s great! I ask my pharmacy for a certain manufacturer on my Norco cuz I hate the Amneal brand that they were giving me. I always go in the morning to get my meds cuz that’s the best time cuz if they have any problems with my script then we have the entire day to figure it out. Every time I go to get my meds I dread it cuz I’m wondering if they are saying to each other here comes so and so getting her pain meds right at opening time, just like clock work, she’s got to get her fix! It sucks!

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Yeah I can relate. I got hit by an 18 wheeler in 2008. Had 2 back surgeries have 7 Titian rods any back.. they had to pull me out with the jaws. I stayed in the hospital for 6 most.. That ended my nursing career. I am in constant pain

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Re: Precious (# 23)

I agree with you! Yes Julie, explain to me how physical therapy is going to help me since I had an epidural abscess from a Lumbar surgery. It scarred the dural sac (contains the spinal cord) L4 to S1, 2 levels of nerves bundles both sides from L4 to S1 and the epidural space from L4 to S1. Any activity from a cough, sneeze, bump, movement, riding in a car, etc. irritates my condition into IV level drug pain, but all I get are high doses of ER and IR pills. I have a spinal cord stimulator implant too. Every nerve that can be terminated without causing paralysis has been terminated... So much for your physical therapy BS Julie! Surprised you have no idea what you're talking about. You sound like a one size fits all government brainwashed internet troll!

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Re: julie (# 18)

Hello Ms Julie are you sure physical therapy with no help from pain management will make us better? I had three back surgeries two was cervical which the second surgery the doctor thought it would be better to use my bone from pelvis...he said I will use just a very small piece. I was afraid i wouldn't walk afterward for some reason and the doctor assured me that would not happen but i still was concerned and. I canceled surgery so a few weeks later after seeking more info I went on and had the surgery. Surgery was a mistake I bled horribly from the bone being removed and could not walk by myself horrible pain. Went home and two weeks later i started trying to walk on my own and took a step bone fractured. To ER i was carried and returned to doctor in wheelchair and was told by ER the bone that was removed was more than i was told. The Surgeon told me OH YES I Had to remove a bigger piece than expected. I was going to pain management for seven years now. Today the pain management obviously thought i need to try suboxene instead of norco. How do they overlook my pain the doctor ruined my life. Live in pain so if physical therapy and exercise going to give me my life back as you're saying...please tell me how. I have a lumbar surgery as well botched and still in pain.

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I'm in the same boat, but after all these years they are taking life away from me. I have gone cold turkey on oxys and Klonopin. I've been on 180 30's a month for years, but thanks to donald trump I get none of either. So I spend my days in bed doing shots of tequila to kill pain and I haven't drank in 20 years. I guess I should smoke too for anxiety.

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Re: Brandi79 (# 13)

Hey brandi I am in the same situation. I have chronic pancreatitis and panic disorder with agoraphobia. It is horrible to try and choose because you can't. I have the most awful psychiatrist in the world who treats me like dirt but I keep him around because he will give me a small dose of klonopin with my pain meds but it is really minimal. I can't complain because at least he will give me something. Everyone else I talked to to try and switch said they wouldn't be able to give me anything for my panic. I understand the danger in mixing the drugs but I was already on both in high doses in the pat and was just fine. So those new reports don't even apply to me. Doctors just don't want take a chance anymore and it is a shame because sone of us like you and I are in a real bind.

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I can completely relate to you. I have chronic pancreatitis and was almost bedridden a lot of the time because the pain was so bad when I wasn't curled up in a ball. My meds have given me a life outside of my fetal position. But I have also felt the sting of the looks from pharmacy employees. Honestly I pay them no mind. They don't have to live in my body and experience the amount of pain I have. As long as they don't give me difficulty I really don't care what they think. It wasn't my plan either to be on pain medications, but we do what me nust to survive. You don't go to them for judgment so don't take it on. We are filling legally written pain meds from doctors who care whether we have a life or not that's all that matters. I am happy to know you are not bedridden anymore, and that your pain meds give you relief. So what we take opiates. Since neither of us are abusing them for a good time we can be guilt free. Good luck in the future and God bless.

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I understand.people who dont know what its like to be in constant pain will never get it.i have fibermyalgia.im in so much pain when im not on meds. Its no quality of life.so to the people who say stuff to u about therapy etc. I understand.dont be ashamed. Prayers to you my friend

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I don't really understand how you are bedridden. I live in NYC and have always been able to walk everywhere which may have caused my body to be more subtle. Can you get to a physical therapist to get your body more able to move a bit? To be in bed for 2 years doesn't seem right. And the pills... huge numbers a day. Yes it's good to get some relief from the pain, but I'm sure that moving your body will give you a lot of help to improve your life. I had back surgery on my lower spine 3 years ago. I still feel pain and possibly it hasn't done much to help in general. I'm told now that the vertebrae L2 above my surgery is out of place now and is adding to the pain. Meanwhile the bill from my doc to the insurance for the 2 vertebrae he nailed together at allegedly the world's best hospital, HSS paid him $90,000. Of course, he's going to go for the money. Gotta move your body. It's the only way to get better. Cheers!

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I can easily relate to what you're saying. I had an epidural abscess 29 years ago, so I'm on a significant amount of pain medications. I know that mom and pop pharmacies are far more compassionate than chain pharmacies. The chain pharmacies are notorious for treating those of us with severe pain conditions as low life drug seekers. In the past I've been turned away from chain pharmacies saying we don't carry those drugs in those dosages or they just don't carry them! While giving you the look of (how dare you come in here)!

My advice has always been to anyone with an incurable severe pain condition find a mom and pop pharmacy in your area. They have independent pharmacies that are in the (Best Value) network of independently own pharmacies. That's what I use. I walk in and instantly someone says, "Hi Mark how are you doing today!" I've been using this one for 20 years and everyone knows me even though I only go there once a month. They treat you like you're a human being with severe pain issues, not a drug addict! They know you're there getting these very powerful narcotic analgesics because something severe has happened to you! Now I'm not saying these pharmacies won't be suspect of you at first because that's the nature of the beast these days. Building a relationship at a pharmacy is like building a relationship with a doctor, but at a chain pharmacy, you'll always be sheep and cattle. Plus be treated poorly because of the drugs you have to take due to the condition your body is in. You can't call a pharmacy these days and ask if they carry these drugs in said dosage and amount because the answer will be NO. That's because thieves do that and then rob pharmacies. You have to turn up with prescription(s) in hand.

Good luck and bless you to anyone stuck in bodies like ours... All we want is to be treated like a human being and not some 3rd class citizen the government agencies and mainstream media have reduced us to... We are the new victims of a failed war on drugs and an out of control government trying to pass the buck to us!

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Don't ever feel ashamed of what helps u for pain. I am in my 40's and I've been on Vicodin for almost 12 years but the thing is I've been on the same dose same 3X a day. I've told my dr that I need more or a different med all together but he just ignores me. I know how u feel about the pill seeker look cause it feels like my dr does that to me so what am I supposed to do? I mean I take a drug panel for him and it's only the meds that are prescribed to me. I get so angry that a younger person has back pain and they get so many Percocet it's unbelievable and here I am with 2 herniated disks, sciatica, arthritis, and other issues. And I get treated like an addict. People say damn change ur dr but with all the opiate s*** going on another dr may take me as a pill seeker. You are lucky that ur dr takes ur pain seriously and makes u comfortable enough (with meds) to get out of bed and get ur day done. F*** what the pharmacy thinks or what looks u get. You hold ur head up high and know ur not doing anything wrong but living ur life.

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Re: Pain man (# 8)

Walgreens is HORRIBLE!!!! I will NEVER use another Walgreens for ANY medication!!!

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I am in the same boat with most of these people. I take 80 mg of oxycodone once a day, not ideal but I will not keep taking more and more. Unfortunately, due to an accident years ago I am not a surgery candidate. I save money, don't have to be concerned about what everyone thinks. I am not saying it's for everyone but it works for me. The doctors priced themselves out of a customer. Good luck to you all.

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I know exactly what you're saying I have back problems along with horrible debilitating anxiety! They don't want me having both together and I can't choose many pain over anxiety or anxiety over my pain. So I'm lost at this point and scared to tell some doctors the truth anymore.

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I can completely relate, and I am not even taking pain meds at the progressive point of COPD with pulmonary fibrosis. I have had it 11yrs, and most never live this long. I'm on palliative care, but my soon to be former PCP physician said to go to a pain clinic. She took over after the prior PCP screwed up on pancreas concerns I'm under watch for. I have a new spot on my lung as well, and the PCP blasted my chart with medication noncompliance due to palliative care nurse putting my thyroid back to the dosage that worked. Subsequently, med noncompliance makes it look like an abuse problem when it's in your chart. Doctors often don't read anymore than that flag. I'm so afraid to ask for anything as I wither down to a size nothing, bones hurt, etc. The stigma is so bad re: pain meds that I will suffer until I can't take anymore, and end my suffering on my own. I am not a criminal and am absolutely disenchanted with the way patients are immediately targeted in a negative description for some reason or another (socioeconomic, psychological, difficult patient, addict, etc). This helps protect physicians from any potential legal cases. I know this from paralegal days. It's not relevant if a patient's description is true or not to the medical community. It's all about covering litigation; and sadly, severely biased medical practice in every aspect. Stay strong! Many of us understand your frustration!

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Yup....been on meds since 2001 after a messed up fusion on my neck...without the pain meds i also have no life...with the meds i work and no one k ows i am on them

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Thank you so much for sharing all your feelings on this matter. Yes iam in the pain pill drama also. If I didn't take the pills, I would have no quality of life. I couldn't even get out of my recliner, or just wouldn't want to because it would lead to more pain and discomfort. I fractured my spine in 6 different places and had to retire early. I too feel ashamed to get those prescriptions. Once while waiting at the pharmacy, I was getting two different prescriptions for pain, watching the two pharmacists and I could read her lips when she looked at the other one and said, " that's a lot of opioids#. Felt so ashamed and useless actually. But I feel like JFK. When his brother Bobby looked through his brothers medicine cabinet at the White House and started fussing and giving JFK a lecture, the president told his concerned brother, " I don't care if its horse piss. If it makes me feel better, I'll take it!"

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Re: Verwon (# 1)

It is not true that the pharmacist can only order a certain amount. As long as they have legit scripts a pharmacy can order as much as needed to meet their customer's demands. That statement is just how the pharmacist misleads their pain patients if they don’t want to serve them. Don’t believe me, go to your states B.O.P bylaws on opiates and read for yourself.

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