Pain Medication Shame (Page 7)
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First of all, I hate taking pain meds but I was almost completely bedridden for 2 yrs. They gave me my life back and I'll be grateful for the rest of my life. My insurance company dropped me right before I was gonna have surgery to get some relief. So I had no choice but to go with the pain meds. I've been on oxycodone 30/150 per month (5 a day) and MS Contin 200mg 2 times daily since 2009. Had breaks when I could. My point is, nobody knows what my daily life is like. I feel ashamed every month getting refills. Maybe it's in my head but the staff at the pharmacy gives me that "pill seeker" look. I guess all that matters is my doctor trusts me and he knows my complete history. I know I'm not taking them for fun. I'd much rather be normal. Can anyone relate to what I'm saying?

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I can absolutely relate to you. I had a dr who said the only relief I would get is to take fentanyl and norco together, so i took it an was on 100 mcg every 3 days, well after 3 yrs i got tired of feeling groggy alll the time and they were coming off my arm and the dr would not recommend any other medicine. Well my mom had cancer and i was taking care of her for her last few months and she made me a promise to STOP TAKING FENTANYL BEFORE SHE PASSED AND SHE PASSED ON MY BIRTHDAY SO I TOOK THAT AS A SIGN AND THREW EM AWAY. Well i came off them and had a stroke, ended up in a hospital and then had a meltdown so now im on methadone looking for a new dr., but yes i know exactly how u feel -as though u are a junkie because you just want a quality of life. There's nothing to be ashamed of about that so i wish u all the best.

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Re: Sanmarie (# 29)

Absolutely i was put on suboxene and this morning i took first half now i feel like hell and my daughter ask me if id try to get out of the house and go shopping with her and my two grandkids and visit a new great nephew born on yesterday. Well of course I do but feel bad and its depressing to say well no i don't think they would enjoy my sad presence. Im 48 yrs old and so embarassed how 80 year olds can run blocks around me. Is there anything I can do to stop this i suppose side effect. My head is lightly hurting and spinning a little nauseous and my vision a bit off. First day on suboxene and I had been on norco 7 yrs but haven't had one in a week.

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Re: Maria (# 26)

I worked a CVS for many years from being a tech to a lead each to an intern to a pharmacist, and I experienced exactly the same as you Maria. I was mostly ashamed of the people I worked with and for. Their attitudes about pain patients sucked. Always looking down on them and having a moment about them. And they did say here comes so and so with a negative story just because they needed pain medicine. Like you I became a pain patient while i still worked and worried what they were saying about me, but I got too sick to work anymore and had to leave. I miss working I miss helping people because i never judged anyone. I talked to the pain patients that they wanted sent away. I gave my time for them and a lot of my energy. When some patients would call on the phone I was the one who talked to them about their pain troubles with a pharmacist or someone else in the background telling me to hang up. People outside the pharmacy world can only guess how bad it can be but you and I know it is worse. Pharmacists can be down right cruel and mean and forget the oath they took just as many doctors have. I felt so guilty when I left because I was their advocate, the only one who would listen to the pain patients. I hated feeling like I left them alone with the wolves. I let my current pharmacy know when I first started filling there that I used to be a pharmacist so I know what all goes on. I'm lucky because that seems to help with their attitude towards me. I don't care at all if they talk behind my back as long as they fill my meds when they are due and don't say anything bad to my face.

One pharmacist had the nerve to say if I don't like their rules I can just find another pharmacy to go to even though I never said anything about not liking their rules. It was a weird situation where the fill date on my lyrica was incorrect and I was confused about when I needed to get it filled. It was their fault but he talked down to me like he knew more. I quickly went to talk to the pharmacy manager and the corporate office which as you know usually does very little. But since I fill about 25 medications a month with then it seemed to make a little difference. Ever since then he has been as nice as pie to me. The pharmacy world is shady by at least those of us who have worked in it understand what really happens and we can use it to our advantage. I feel bad for those who don't understand what is really going on especially pain patients. And now they are giving pharmacists way too much power. We never used to be allowed to override a doctors orders unless they wrote the wrong dose or something. Now they are deciding what should and should not be filled even legal scripts that aren't too early. It is all bs. A small world where judgemental people feel big. Of course not everyone is like this but I would have to say it is overwhelmingly the standard. I hope you are doing alright and don't worry about what they say or think about you unless they try and make you feel small in front of others. There is nothing wrong with needing pain medication to control severe pain or chronic pain. They are the ones with the problem a problem of soul. You keep doing whatever makes your life better. God bless you!

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Re: Curious80 (# 44)

I can relate to what both of you are saying... Having to take U/As (guilty till proven innocent) isn't a 100% reliable. I'm talking about the lab evaluations, not the portable kits. First let me say that I'm allergic to Morphine Sulfate and any drug containing Sulfa. About 9 years ago I came back positive for Morphine. My doctor came into the exam room and said, Mark we have a problem. You failed your last U/A and I can't prescribe you anything else until you have a clean U/A? I'm on a boat load of Oxycodone hcl (j/k). He then told me I came up positive for Morphine Sulfate... OK big problem with that one! I'm severely allergic to Morphine Sulfate! It's in my chart and every procedure he's done on me it's on that red allergy bracelet they put on you when having a surgery. I said, why would I take a drug that I'm severely allergic to? My very first surgery they put it in my PCA pump(didn't know I was allergic to Morphine Sulfate) I went into shock and stop breathing!

Needless to say the doctor quickly came around to what I was saying and agreed with me. Why would I take a drug that I was severely allergic to? He went ahead and prescribed my medications and was going to contact the lab because he agreed that I didn't take any Morphine Sulfate. Long story short the lab said that they don't make any mistakes, but they had disposed of my U/A and stand behind the positive for Morphine Sulfate. Well fortunate for me I have money. So I went and got a hair follicle analysis which shows everything I've taken in the last 6 months. The only thing I was positive for in the last 6 months was Oxycodone hcl! Even with this evidence the lab was still admitting no wrong and standing by their result. Eventually this lab was investigated by the state and they caught them not even evaluating samples and putting down false readings every so often. They're now out of business and were sued by a multitude of lawyers by people who lost jobs, weren't hired and patients who were refused medications and it all started with my fake false+! The technicians they caught doing it said that they had so many diagnostics to perform that it was impossible to do them all and the labs supervisor had told them to do this because they had quotas to meet to fulfill contracts with over a thousand clients... In the end they still admitted no wrong doing, but settled all litigation out of court and closed the company under the name it was called at that time. I've heard they reopened several years later under a different name and different principle owner, but it was still the same financial backers (a bunch of medical doctors).

I guess when it comes to big profits no one is immune from looking the other way, not even doctors...If you know you've had a false reading on a U/A for a substance you're not prescribed, a hair follicle analysis will prove exactly what you've taken for the last 6 months. Unfortunately they're not cheap and you'll have to pay for it yourself. To me this is just more proof of the sad times we live in these days. We as legitimately suffering human beings who just happen to live in America are continuously treated like 3rd class citizens because of numerous failed policies, failed laws, unenforced laws, failed government agencies DEA FDA FBI, extreme government overreach and the list just goes on and on... I read on someone's post on this thread they blamed Trump for not being able to get their pain medications. NEWS FLASH! The U/A's started under Bush, but... This reduction/eliminating of opiate prescribing started under Obama! He declared war on pharmaceutical narcotics and like all politicians he made a problem much worse! The government like all bullies go after the weakest/easiest target to say, hey look what we're doing! We paid for our own studies and got the results we paid for(wanted to get) and now we're implementing these things with absolutely not a second thought for the legitimate patients because we will decide whose legitimate, not trained competent board certified in pain management doctors! We're the American government and our citizens are to stupid to know what's best for them, so we'll tell them! (*face palm*) I've been in pain management for over 29 years and the last 5 years has been the worst, but back in the late 1980's it almost took an act of god to get a schedule II opiate outside a hospital if you didn't have cancer. Those days are slowly returning...

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Re: Nicknack (# 43)

I completely agree with you on the drug panels and when you want to contest them they act like it is impossible. Being able to have the drug panel redone should be the right of any patient. Thr only problem with that is they will use the same lab as they did before, and what company wants to say they made a mistake. The lab would rather the patient pay the price and get kicked out than admit a mistake. I used to be given drug panels every other month and now I haven't been evaluated in 6 months. I would say that's a good thing, but it doesn't feel that way. The nurse practitioner slipped up and admitted the pain group I see doesn't really want to treat me anymore. The redesigned their company into an interventional clinic so since they can't do anything about my pancreatitis they don't want to treat it. I told her I thought what you treated was pain not the disorder. She said not anymore all they want is patients with herniated or bulging discs or knee and hip patients. In other word people who are eligible for epidurals or ablations. They call that intervention even though it doesn't treat the underlying disorder it is only treats the PAIN. She said the only reason we are still treating you is because I have been a patient for 4 years. I of course asked her what I should do. She said there are clinics that would do only medication management, but she is forbidden from telling me which clinics they are since I would leave and go there. I can't find any evidence of the Hippocratic Oath anywhere in there. I knew there had to be more to continuing to lower my meds than the FDA report. Since I don't have a back injury or cancer I can only have 60 morphine equivalents a day. I was at about 200 then the lowered it to about 160 and after Tuesdays appointment, I'm down to 120. So my pain level doesn't matter at all to them. No matter what I say they are going to keep lowering it even though I am now at a level that doesn't even help my pain. It would be nice if they could live in this completely messed up body for a day. Know the pain of a pancreas that is dissolving itself from the inside out. They wont even give me my botox inj's. for my chronic migraine anymore. I had to find a neurologist to do them. Now I have to go see another specialist I didn't want. I have so many doctors and didn't want another. I am sick of their sorry selfs.

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Re: karen (# 35)

Methadone clinic will be the only place to get pain relief. What a joke the doctors and nurses can't prescribe what they feel is needed. The gov. and Insurance companies are in control of your dose and med. Lame. The clinics are not accurate with their drug panels. The results come back with false readings 10% to as much as 30% of the time. During 2017 they falsely found U/A's dirty and for over 100 clients. They were using Precision Toxicology in San Diego, Ca. and had signed into a year long contract. Precision T. were using new philosophy in which they had chosen to advertise themselves as more accurate and that they had the ability to discover the presence of drugs for a longer time period than other companies. We, the clients soon found out the trick they had pulled on the administrator and staff who chose this company without looking over their record or history. Well, I let the rabbit out of the bag, they simply throughout the recommended required amount of a substance to accurately determine a person has consumed that substance. Example: 50 nanograms/ml. of methamphetamine is needed on an oral drug panel to determine use. Precision T. used zero nanograms/ml. for all substances. This therefore caused tons of false readings for anyone who had touched a door handle or used the pen to sign for their meds. after a person with methamphetamine residue on their hands had went ahead of you. This caused havoc for a year as they fulfilled the contract they had signed. The results, clients lost their take home privileges and the respect they earned with counselors and staff. They also would have their dose lowered if they had not earned takehome medications. Your drug panel record determines the amount of days you have to go to clinic to dose in front of nurses. Between 1 and 6 days a week is the amount of days a client must pick up meds or take meds at clinic. I go once a week now, but I went daily for the first few years before I got the system flowing right. Well anyways, I started out stating that this is one of the only routes chronic pain suffers have these days to receive pain relief. It not easy and it not right. We should be able to go to our primary care doctor and get our daily medicine needs met. Pain medicine or not, doctors are the ones with the degree. They went to school half their life to be able to help other. The government should stay the f... out of my medicine cabinet.

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Re: Precious (# 23)

I'm now just thinking is this a way for the government to get rid of a great ratio of people. First they were writing scripts for anyone that bumped their toe and now people are turned away with withdrawals and pain. Is the government looking for a climb in the death rate from poor people that just can't take the pain and suffering and commit suicide? The pain dr's love to give that sheet out to see if they (doctors) have made us suicidal yet. Freaking sad THIS IS A GAME TO THEM. OUR LIVES MEAN NOTHING.

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I’ve experienced the very same thing! The lady who took my prescription would show it to the lady near her & they'd both have the “Isn’t it terrible how people talk their doctors into giving them drugs!” look. I finally found out who the Pharmacy manager was. Finding her on social media, I explained to her how I felt in her Pharmacy & how if I didn’t have those drugs, I wouldn’t be able to walk into her Pharmacy. (She never responded). But, something happened that changed everything. When my doctor upped my dosage, this Pharmacy said they didn’t carry it. They said I’d have to go to a New Pharmacy a couple blocks away. At first, I was disappointed because I didn’t think I could physically get there! But when I did, I told them of my condition & how the other pharmacy people treated me. They responded with care & compassion & have been wonderful ever since! I’m so glad I changed pharmacies! I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before! Change your Pharmacy if at all possible! And tell them why!!!

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If you research how many people can no longer get their pain meds and are now forced to live with chronic pain you would just count your blessings instead of being ashamed or caring what others think. Be grateful that your doctor is willing to stand up to the scrutiny of the government and now even the pharmacists are allowed to say no to the patients and even question their doctors. I am not one of those people but my heart aches for them.

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Re: Steve (# 36)

Geez Steve, so sorry you had to go through all that. That sounds terrible but not surprising. The doctor I was seeing lost his license for two years because he refused to bow down to the FDA and continued to prescribe for his patients. I can't see things changing. Once the gov't starts down a path it's near impossible to turn it back.

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Re: Precious (# 37)

Writing to congress is a great idea but I don't think it would help. Right now the climate in the U.S. is very anti-drug. As long as they think reducing the medications given to patients will reduce what's on the streets I don't think they'll listen. Unfortunately, there are people that sell their medications for whatever reason and that hurts everybody. People like that make it so hard for legit patients to get the meds they need. I wish there were an answer.

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Re: Mark (# 24)

I certainly wished...no i dont but if they could live in our shoes one day they would scream bloody murder. Yes we should all write letters to congress i guess because this is ridiculous. See if that helps doubt it but never know. Let the flood gates open. So sorry to hear all these tragic stories. I would much rather be working like normal people if there is such a thing.

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I have been on Oxycodone since 2008. I live in Illinois and the state has these doctors scared. Here you have to see a pain clinic. Most M.D. will not prescribe any pain meds here. My pain doctor had a family emergency and had to leave the country for two months so his office called my family doctor and asked them to take over my pain medications until he returned. When I went in to see him he told me that he wouldn't prescribe the amount that I had been taking since 2013. I had been on 20mg oxycodone 6 per day for 3 years. I was also prescribed 30mg morphine ER 2 a day for long acting for the same amount of time. So 200mg a day everyday for 3 years. My family doctor said he would only prescribe that amount to a cancer patient. I asked him if he ever had a major back injury with permanent nerve damage and his answer was No. I then asked him of he had ever had cancer and his answer was No again. So I asked him how could he tell me that my pain isn't as bad as a cancer patient if he never lived either one. He couldn't answer the ? I ended up leaving his office with 7.5mg hydrocodone and 4 a day. So he gave me 30mg a day when I had been taking 200mg a day for 3 years. He sent me home with Nassau medication and a antidepressant that he said would help with the withdrawal. It didn't help. So I went to the emergency room and explained my accident and gave them the letter from my pain clinic telling the situation. I told them the amount I had been taking and for how long and explained I was going through withdrawal and needed help.

The nurse said she could tell I was having withdrawals. The E.R. doctor came in didn't even get to the foot of the bed and said I cannot prescribe any pain medications to you. I said I'm not here for pain medications I'm here for something for the withdrawals. He said he could help with that and left. Nurse came in with my discharge papers. I said he was supposed to have given me something for the withdrawals. The hospital is Brommen in Bloomington Illinois. Every night on the local News they talk about the opiate epidemic here but a person can walk in to the emergency at the hospital here and can't get help. Now I have had a major back injury with permanent nerve damage. I have never filled my prescription early. Never took more then prescribed and never sold my meds and couldn't even get help when I asked. Illinois act's like they're the only state with this problem. Now I'm sure there are people who abuse it and sell it and there the ones who make it hard for the ones who really need it to get it. A doctor in Idaho told me that most doctors now forgot their code of ethics and compassion. He said most have sold there souls to the insurance companies and pharmaceutical companies. I really couldn't believe I couldn't get help from doctors and the hospital here when I asked for it and had documents of why this was happening. I would like to see one of those heartless bastards walk one day in my shoes and I guarantee their biased opinion and labels would change.

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Re: Precious (# 23)

I agree. It is terrifying to be a chronic pain sufferrer these days with all the new laws and legislations and dr jailing going on. People in serious serious pain are going to go out and drink themselves to death or go die from an overdose or something. it is terrible and frustrating.

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I'm in the same boat as all of you. Except it's my nurse practitioner who makes me feel guilty. I had a great practitioner but she left. The person I'm with now only cares about what happens to her. I cry at most appointments. How can someone in the medical field make a patient feel guilty like that. When did taking pain meds become the devil? Why is it legal to buy marijuana in my state but not ok to take pain meds? I sometimes feel like giving up.

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Anger
Frustration
Fear
Hopelessness

Anyone out there know where you can find sympathy?

Look in the dictionary. It comes between s*** and syphilis. Going in for another surgery on the 19th this month. Had an exploratory procedure performed on 10th October to determine just how much further my shoulder problem has degenerated. Arthroscopic. Long & short of the follow up of my "pain management" (this term being one now,to me,meaning just how much pain they can manage to keep you in). What a horror show, I won't get into finer points of it. Went to orthopedic Dr. office yesterday to get things in place for the 19th. P A came in with paperwork for me to sign verifying that everything was set up for procedure to performed on my shoulder. My left shoulder. Mind you, I'm the "agitated right shoulder oxycontin guy". Had a flashback to when I was admitted to hospital while in the service. Kid in bed next to me was recovering from knee surgery. See, he had to recover from that one so that they could then do the procedure again. This time on the correct knee. That was over 25 years ago & this crap is still going on today. At least I'm not having a VA facility touching me on the 19th.

I AM SCARED NOW, OR SHOULD CLARIFY, MORE THAN EVER OF BEING PUT UNDER THE KNIFE AGAIN!!! Too agitated & angry to continue with this post any further. God Help All Of Us Chronically Mismanaged Chronic Pain Sufferers.

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I can relate to you 100% I also am on pain pills I take Morphine Sulfate 30mg tab 2x a day and also take Hydrocodone 10/325 4x a day as needed. I don't care what looks the pharmacist gives me I'm the one in pain not them. I have to have approval from my insurance co. for the morphine and the dr. has to fill out papers to them. I wish I didn't have to take this medication I want to be normal to be able to do things like I use to do I hate being disabled and not be able to work.

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I so agree with you. My pharmacy is good for the most part, but I understand what you are saying. You are right, all we should care about is what our doctor knows; however, we do feel in our minds that they judge us. They just don't understand the pain that we go through on a daily basis. I can not live life and enjoy any of it without taking my meds. I do not like taking them either, but unfortunately, I do not have any choice. Good Luck to you!

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Sanmarie (# 27) --

Girl I'm with ya! My husband has RSD/complex pain syndrome (I think it's called the latter now) caused by a major stroke. He was never a medicine taker and still hates it now. He gets morphine and percocet every month, refuses the morphine most of the time but will take the percocet. He lives his life in incredible pain on the entire right side of his body. Thank God he has a great neurologist (at least for now --rumor has it that he's going to stop writing narcotics because of all this political bs) and a wonderful pharmacy. He would even be willing to take cannabis oil or smoke marijuana if it was legal but we live in Virginia and I don't think they'll ever ok it. Anyway, I just wanted to respond to your comment :)

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Re: julie (# 18)

LOL, but not funny. Who are you to tell someone they should not be bed bound. Really. I'll say this, I hurt my back in 2005 really and discs was pushed together on the nerves and other ailments to my body that gave me chronic pain. I was on Methadone and Morphine, and Oxycodone for years. Then they started with the pain meds stuff and I had no choice but to go on Suboxone, and for me it changed my life. My point what works for others may not work for you. We are all different damn. I hate that one remedy works for all mess.Yes, moving around help, but damnit, when your in chronic or horrific pain who can do that? People like you get on my last nerve telling people that. Like that's putting them down. Stop it, your not their doctor. Please don't listen to people like this. Write to you alderman and congressmen. Tell them your story, you may think it's falling on death ears but they are hearing. Join organizations that are for the pain patients. We are not just seeking pain meds we are seeking relief. Make some meds that aren't addictive. I'm still on a pain med. But guess what this cost 500% more than the old pain meds. Think about that also.

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