My Suboxone Withdrawal Story - Day 12

I've been searching these forums for the past few months, just soaking up as much information as I possibly could. This is my FIRST time actually posting, only in hopes to let others know my story of coming off suboxone so far. I see soooo many horror stories and not very many good stories. I know it scares a lot of people into staying on the drug for even longer because of fear of the painful drawn out withdrawal. The horror stories surely kept me on subs alot longer than I wanted to be on them. I am not discrediting anybody that has had an awfully hard time coming off this drug, it's definitely not easy both mentally and physically. But in my experience it hasn't been as bad as I imagined or have read about. I'll begin with a little background on my drug history. I started off casually taking norco or oxy. We all know where that leads us.... one casual pill turned into an avg of 20 or 25 a day over the course of about 3 or 4 years. Probably more if I could've afforded to... During that same time I lost the love of my life because of the pills. He said they completely changed me, and boy was he right. The breakup led me on a downward spiral. Maybe about a year later I decided enough is enough. I had withdrawled from norco and oxy 50+ times and just kept going back. So after some research I discovered suboxone. Why had I never heard of this before? I wish I had known sooner, could've saved my relationship and a bunch of money. Anyways, I was on suboxone for a little over a year. I can say that it helped me get into the mindset of REALLY wanting to quit. No highs and lows like with pills. It also helped me re-evaluate my choices and stopped my drug seeking behaviors. Anyways, I decided 12 days ago to jump from 12mg. (Definitely smarter to taper, but I lack the will power) anyways this is my day by day timeline.

Last day of 12mg sub use: I moved away from all my old people and places that made me want to use or reminded me of using. This is something I had been planning on doing for the last 6 months and move in with my boyfriend. The time is finally here!! I honestly didn't think I could get sober knowing I could drive 5 minutes and get pills or subs.

Day 1 no subs: expected to be feeling like I'd been hit by a bus at any moment. It didn't happen. Maybe a little agitation knowing I didn't have my sub that day. Worried how tomorrow will go...

Day 2: slept GREAT last night. Like 10 hours. Couldn't believe I still felt ok when I woke up. Still waiting on that sick feeling. It never came. Just a lil agitated if anything.

Day 3: I feel just ok... slept great last night. I'm pretty shocked I don't feel worse. Right now it's mostly mental for me I think. Along with being cold yet sweating. Nothing I couldn't handle.

Day 4: probably got 2 or 3 hours of sleep last night and woke up feeling pretty crappy. I cried for about 10 mins, emotions are a lil wacky since I'm not normally a cryer. I had to babysit my 3 and 6 year old nieces this day and I was dreading going there because I'm starting to feel a total lack of motivation. My body feels like it's being weighed down by sand bags. They begged me to make them pancakes... it took ALL the energy I had. I even cried WHILE MAKING PANCAKES cuz I felt so bad. They wanted to go to the park but I just wasn't up to it. It seemed the such a chore at the time. Everything felt like a chore. I am starting to get anxious. Still sweating but cold. Watery eyes. I wrapped myself in a blanket and laid down on the couch. I prayed they would take a nap... they didn't lol. This was absolutely the worst day I had the entire time. I feel for anybody having children and going through a detox. It's hard work. I went home and laid on the couch the rest of the night. Thank god my boyfriend is supportive of me coming off subs. He really helped out by cooking and cleaning and doing the laundry. There's no way I could've done it all myself. Although I felt guilty.

Day 5: got okay sleep last night with the help of Advil pm. Funny how you feel soooo tired but you just can't fall asleep. Wish I got a little more sleep because I had to watch my nieces again. This day was better than day 4, but not by much. Still felt s***ty and pretty depressed. I cried again but took a hot shower and felt better. Hot showers are your friend!!! Take hot showers as much as you can!

Day 6: had to take Advil pm again last night, but slept for about 10 hours. I felt way better today, still not great. But I felt so much better knowing I didn't have to watch my nieces and I could just lay around all day. Still got some sweating and chills. And I've started sneezing 4 or 5 times in a row. It's annoying but at least it's not painful. My boyfriend is still taking care of the household duties. Don't know what I would do without his support.

Day 7: I slept til around noon I couldn't believe it!! I woke up ready to take on the world!! I'm kind of feeling like the worst is over and I can beat this. But I know that more symptoms could hit me at any time so trying not to get too excited.

Day 8: ok what the heck? I feel way worse than yesterday but not as bad as day 4 and 5. Yawning all the time and just a lack of motivation along with a little depression. Kept telling myself I've made it this far I can keep going. That seemed to help.

Day 9: I slept great again with the help of Advil pm. I felt so good I decided to get out of the house to go grocery shopping. I drove all the way to the store, sat in my car for 5 mins and decided I didn't feel like walking inside cuz I was getting anxiety and lost the motivation. I drove back home and when I walked in the door my boyfriend laughed at me because I didn't bring any groceries. But hey at least I attempted going lol. My sense of humor is starting to come back. My feelings aren't quite as numb. I'm smiling more but still not feeling like myself just yet.

Day 10: I woke up feeling better than ever. Still random cold sweats and sneezing but getting better. I don't have to change my clothes as much anymore from the sweating. I will say this is the first day I got diarrhea. I've been waiting all week for it to start. Most posts Ive read it seems to start way earlier but for me it started day 10. Had mild stomach cramps as well but took Imodium. Still lacking energy and motivation though.

Day 11: had to babysit again, still not much motivation but I forced myself to walk my nieces down to the park. Getting out of the house definitely helps you feel better even if you don't want to. But I think I went to the bathroom about 6 times this day. The diarrhea sucks but take Imodium, it helps.

Today, day 12- woke up and decided to call a friend of mine to go lay out at the pool. My first day feeling like I wanted to be social. On the way to her house I started getting bad anxiety, luckily she is prescribed Xanax and offered me one.(she's a nurse and a supportive friend knowing I'm detoxing off subs) I do not advise taking Xanax if you've had a prior problem with it, as it can be dangerously addictive stuff also. But I knew it wouldn't be a problem for me personally. My drug of choice is opiates. Don't care much for benzos and will ONLY take when needed. I definitely don't need a new addiction. But Boy did it help my anxiety! Came home and decided to do a little housework. Wanted to surprise my boyfriend and take some of the responsibility off him. I even decided to make us dinner, my appetite is finally coming back. He went to bed early and I got bored so decided what the heck? Why not share my story so far. I've attended NA meetings in the past but they just made me want to use. I decided to come on this forum and talk with anybody going through the same thing. Offer some encouragement if needed. I know it's still early and my withdrawal symptoms may still be lingering, but compared to last week I feel like a brand new person. Still not fully feeling like myself, but one day at a time!

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REPORT

Hello! Glad to hear you're soldiering through the detox. Was curious as to how you're doing now, if you could update? I'm asking because I'm currently on day 11 of Suboxone withdrawal and my experience so far is similar to yours. Thanks for the confirmation and encouragement, intended or not.

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Re: Fromtull (# 1)

Finally a response from somebody! Hello! ?? I thought I posted this to help people but then nobody replied lol... so glad you're here! just an update on me. Shortly after posting this, unfortunately I relapsed(guess it wasn't as easy as I thought.) this disease can suck you right back in. I made it 30 days and decided to "reward myself"... dumbest thing I ever could've done. DONT GIVE INTO THE TEMPTATION. Even with 30 days clean, just taking one sub set me back both physically, and especially emotionally. I was being really hard on myself in the following days. Of course it felt good to be back in feeling "normal" on subs, but it's only temporary, I thankfully quickly realized I didn't want to go back down the road of addiction. So July 4th was my last day of sub use, again. Happy to say I am on day 89!!!!! And today is my birthday, first one sober in years!! The first 30 days will be the toughest physically, but month 2 will be where the mental stuff really comes into play, for me anyways. Month 2 was a very dark and depressing time for me, even though I had nothing to be depressed about, I was just getting sick of not feeling "normal yet"... brain chemicals all out of whack, no motivation, no will to do anything really. There were days I didn't get out of bed. But there were also days I felt pretty good. Only to be followed by more crappy days. this is when I started reading up about PAWS. Paws sucks and although it doesn't effect everyone, I REALLY believe this is the #1 reason people relapse. I mean honestly how long can a person go on feeling this depressed and unmotivated??? I'll honestly take the physical side effects over the emotional side effects any day of the week. Month 3 has been soooo much better to me. The only lingering physical symptoms I have are the sweats, occasional diarrhea, and still sneeze like 4x in a row. I sleep soooo good now. Mentally I am less depressed, not exactly happy yet, but don't feel like I'm dying anymore. If I had to put a number on how I feel at 89 days, I would say about 80%. I see it's been a few days since you posted so hopefully your still hanging in there! IT WILL GET BETTER. Just not as fast as we all want. I wish you the best of luck, you can do it! It's one hell of a roller coaster but if you TRULY want off, you will do it!

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Re: Fromtull (# 1)

Very similar stories. Day 14 here and jumped from 8mg (starting to read a lot of success stories about people just jumping at a higher dose) never puked or even broke a sweat (which is usually my worst symptoms off opiates. Not saying it was easy. Glad you are sleeping, that’s been the worse for me. Brain fog still comes and goes. Nothing too bad. Know I’m not out of the woods yet, not naive at all. I’ve read the same stuff as everyone else. Know it could still be weeks or months before feeling 100%. But so far was nothing as bad as I expected. Good luck everyone

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Re: Justjump (# 3)

So glad you’re doing pretty good. Keep going!!! I’m about 5 months off subs now. Woohoo I made it to the other side. The biggest thing I’ve noticed is I thought once I got off subs, I would have my life all “together” if that makes sense. But along the way I’ve realized that takes ALOT of work. Doesn’t just happen overnight. My motivation was VERY low for the first 3 months. I honestly never felt like doing anything. Along with some pretty major depressive episodes. But I just had to force myself to do stuff and then I would feel better. 3 months along I felt about 75% like my old self. Now at 5 months I feel about 90% my old self... it’s funny how long it takes to feel normal again, but what is normal really? The only lingering physical symptoms I occasionally have is random sneezes and diarrhea. I can handle that! So glad you found my post and I hope it was helpful for you. It’s not gonna be easy but I know if I can do it, anybody can do it. You just gotta want being clean and sober more than you want to be on subs. People always talk about the physical side effects. But for me the worst part is the mental. You just gotta get your mindset right and know that you can do anything you set your mind to! Good luck!

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Re: Lindsay (# 4)

Hi guys, im chiming in cuz im in the same boat as you pretty much. Today is day 15 jump from 3 ml, I could manage a day on that, but really i was doing as much as I could get my hands on between norcos and subs for the past 5 years I know im threw the worst of it, but im just so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I had a great day the other day I was even walking 2 mils a day on days 9 and 10, but now im just so run down, the runs have now kicked in. Someone please tells me it gets better.

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Re: Shells (# 5)

Sorry I haven’t been good at checking my email lately, didn’t mean to leave you hanging! I really hope you’re still hanging in there! I see you posted a few weeks ago. I know how hard it is. Happy to report that I’ve been off subs for 7 months now and never thought I would be able to say that. I promise it gets better in time!! I found that most physical withdrawals were over by 30 days. The last symptoms to leave me were sneezing and diarrhea... The hardest thing for me the past few months has been low motivation and depression. This is the longest I’ve been sober in my adult life, and I’m realizing how much I used opiates as a crutch. But I’m finally at the point where I know I’m never looking back and getting by myself into pills again! Hope to hear back from you!

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