Withdrawl Hell

If I would've known how bad coming off Lexapro would be I would have never started. I was just starting college and I was very nervous. I'd heard about anxiety meds and thought this was the answer, I saw my dr and he immediately prescribed me Lexapro 10 mg. about a month on the medication I met the love of my life. My anxiety was low, I was doing great in school and I had finally met a man I was beyond crazy about and couldn't wait to start our lives together. About 7 months later things were still great so I decided I'd try to quit Lexapro. I halved the pills for about 2 weeks and then quit cold turkey. Everything was okay for about the first month besides my anxiety being a little worse. I still loved life and me and my bf were planning on getting married in a few months from then, I was still happier than ever. Then a couple weeks later, something in my brain literally snapped. Seriously out of no where I looked at my boyfriend and it was like he was a stranger. The man I was absolutely crazy about and was getting ready to marry just didn't seem the same anymore. Nothing had changed at all, but it's like my brain had suddenly turned off my love for him. It was horrible. I'd never felt so low in my life, I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I thought I was going to pass out. I spent the next few days moping around on the couch and trying to find the love I had deep in my heart for so many months. I know I love him and this just doesn't make any sense. It's been two months sense then and it's like my love for him or anything comes and goes. I'm terrified. I just want it to go away. This is the man I wanted forever, this couldn't have changed and especially over some pill. Someone please help me. I just wanna feel the way I did 3 months ago.

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I am very sorry about what you've been through, that's horrible.

However, after a month, it would be very unusual to still be experiencing withdrawal effects, according to the NIH. Though everyone is different, so it can't be completely ruled out.

Additionally, no one in love keeps feeling the same euphoria forever, it is normal for things to calm down. It doesn't mean your love actually goes away, though, the chemicals in your brain stop firing as much and as often as they did, when the relationship was new. The time frame can vary from person to person, but everyone experiences it. There are even times one may feel indifferent about their partner, or annoyed by them and there's nothing wrong with it. There usually comes a point where you learn that love is more of a choice, than an emotion. It is between people who deliberately choose to support each other and be there for each other, every day.

For example, when my husband and I first started talking to each other, we lived on opposite sides of the country, thus, we were in touch all the time, I'm sure there were days we sent hundreds of texts. Then, when he flew out here to move in with me, we were so crazy about each other for the first few months, people called us disgustingly cute. LOL However now, over 2 years later and having gotten married, I have to describe our relationship as more calm and comfortable. We still love each other, but we don't feel the same crazy euphoria that we did at the beginning and no longer need to do absolutely everything together, or to chat all the time.

Sometimes, people bounce from one relationship to another, because they keep wanting to feel that and think they'll eventually find someone that'll make them feel that spark forever. That's also the reason some people can be so volatile and argumentative in a relationship, they may not consciously realize it, but they want that euphoria back, so causing issues that require making up is a way to bring it back for a brief while.

There are also instances where after months of dating, planning a wedding and etc., someone suddenly realizes that it was all just those chemicals and that person really isn't right for them, or they aren't genuinely in love. It is sad, but it happens.

I can't say for certain if that is what applies to you, I'm just throwing out some ideas in hopes of helping you get to the root of the problem.

Another possibility is that perhaps taking the medication and then stopping it has caused a chemical imbalance in your brain and you may need help with it. It is worth checking into, you may need to try a different medication, or therapy.

None of the various possibilities are anything to be ashamed of, so don't be afraid to get help and talk to someone about it.

Has there been any change? Are you still feeling the same way?

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