Was Badly Addicted To Hydrocodone/oxycodone/percocet For 7 Years. Am Now Free Thanks To Buprenorphine(suboxone). (Top voted first)

Not real sure why exactly it is that I feel it necessary to post here in this forum. Maybe I'm hoping that someone looking for help will read this and make the same decision myself and my husband did. 7 years ago I was introduced to the joys and wonderous feelings of pain pills. Always working in the restuarant industry as a server/ bartender, the high I got from taking tabs or percs or whatever I could get my hands on led me to believe that I was a better server, better at my job, made more money, could talk to people more openly and be a happier person all around. At first, like the beginning 3 years I would take 1 to 3 lortab 10 mg in one day and be hopping around all over the place till the wee hours of the morning, talking everyone's head off and energized to the max. As the habit grew, it took more and more to get that same feeling. I didn't even realize how addicted I was. When the pills would run out, I would notice not feeling well, tired, flu like almost but just thought I was getting sick. I was entirely stupid to the fact that I was experiencing withdrawal symptoms. It wasn't until about the 5th year of my opiate abuse that I started to understand and research what was happening to me when my stash ran out. It hit me like a bag a bricks that my life was going downhill fast and something had to be done. But I couldn't stop. I still had to work. In a restaurant. I still had to function and without the pills functioning was not a possibility. Then me and my husband got married and decided we wanted a child more than anything in the world. She was the first best decision we ever made. I quit everything the day I found out I was having out little girl. October 12 2009. Surprisingly easy it was too. Pills, cigarettes, pot, everything was out the window and knowing she was inside me, needing me to make sure she was healthy as possible meant I could stop it all and not look back. Until the day she was born of course. Almost 4 hours of pushing does a very painful number on a woman's lady parts and I did not hesitate to call the nurse exactly at every 4 hour mark to bring my pain meds for the whole 2 days we spent in the hospital. Then they send you home with a small script of tabs, like 24. So slowly but surely I was spiraling back down the hole of addiction again. It was still under control until the day after Thanksgiving of 2010. My husband wound up in the hospital for a week after having a major surgery done for a condition called a "spontaneous pneumothorax". basically an air pocket in the lung cavity causing the lung to collapse a small percentage. very invasive and painful surgery though. He was out of work for like 6 weeks and you best believe that every one of those weeks was spent gobbling oxycodone by both of us like there was no tomorrow. It was over after that. no going back to sobriety. We must work now and the demands of a small child are beyond exhausting. In my mind, I could not take care of her without pills. I needed to be supermom. Until one day about 6 weeks ago, we woke up and had hit rock bottome. Because of our very expensive pill habbit, the power was turned off, the water got turned off, the phones/cable/internet was gone and even the tags and insurance on the both our cars were expired. All in one day. What an awakening and excuse my language, but what a piece of s*** I felt like. How could I do this to my now 18 month old little girl who is the light of our life and what we live for. It was not fair to her, and certainly not what I wanted life for the 3 of us to be like. Not to mention I had went back to college last August and was damn near flunking for all the time and energy I wasted texting, calling, and searching out my next fix. I couldn't study, couldnt pay attention in class. Couldn't do anything for this filthy love of pain pills. So on the day of "almost loosing everything" I decided it had to stop. Something had to give or I'd have to give up my little girl and I would rather die than live without her. It took me 2 weeks to get up the nerve to go a place called Recovery concepts about 15 miles from my home. 2 weeks of misery, though because I still had to keep finding our fixes because as we all know as addicts you cannot deal with withdrawal symptoms and still care for children and work. I didn't want the pills anymore but had to take them just to feel normal. So anyway, Recovery Concepts was the 2nd best decision I ever made in my life. The process of talking with counselors and having blood drawn and seeing the doctor all the while being in the first stages of withdrawal was long and I very nearly walked out as people were texting me telling me they had tabs for me to buy. But I could not leave. I kept thinking of my little girl and it was her that made me stay. I had to make life better for her and by God I was going to do it that day. it took about 4 hours of waiting and seeing counselors before I got my first 4mg dose of suboxone. After about 30 min I noticed the cold sweats going away. It wasn't quite enough for me though, as I was up to 100mg plus of lortab per day. At 12 mg of suboxone, I felt perfect. I went home to my husband feeling like a million bucks and exclaiming that going there was the best thing I ever did. He started going the next week and our lives have completely changed for the better since then. He is at 16 mg of suboxone (16.00$/day) and I at 12 mg(14.00$/day), which to some may seem a hefty price, but when you consider we were spending anywhere from 100 to 150/day on tabs or roxy's or percs or whatever, well we are now saving quite a bit of moolah. We go early in the morning to take our dose and we feel great all day! I have the energy I need to go to school and take care of our baby and the house. He feels great enough to work all day and come home and play with the baby and the most important thing is that we are happy doing all these things. I think the suboxone actually has helped me also because I was going into a severe depression still addicted to opiates. I was so upset with myself and life and I just couldn't be happy knowing how stuck we were. Everything has changed for us now, and I am so thankful for the clinic and for my friend that told us about the place. Suboxone gives you another chance at life. At least for me it has. Get off pain pills without withdrawals and long term recovery support for people who have had a long term habit. I just could not have done it alone, even if I had toughed out the withdrawals. My life was centered around finding, buying, eating and loving pain pills and I could not have won the fight of quitting alone. I hope this helps someone out there and if not, well I feel better telling someone my story as no one in my life but my husband knows it. Feel free after reading this to ask any questions. I will be glad to answer as best I can. And i beg you, if you are reading this searching for way out, consider a recovery clinic in your area or doctor that can prescribe you suboxone. it can change your life. thanks for reading.

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Just as an update to my earlier post, it's now been almost six months since entering the treatment clinic, and due to finances can no longer afford to continue in the program. I do still firmly believe that suboxone is a valid method of addiction treatment, but I would like to state that if you don't get the opportunity to slowly taper off of suboxone, that the withdrawal symptoms are just as bad as those of lortab. I had to stop going to the treatment center on monday and by wednesday was not feeling well at all. I have actually had to use lortab just to take a small fraction of the edge off of the w/d symptoms, as I still have to work and take care of my daughter, which is nearly impossible when you feel like as if you have the worst flu of your life. I certainly would not consider myself relapsing, all i truly want is to be free of addictions and to feel like a normal functioning human being that doesnt have to take narcotics to "feel" ok in the normal day-to-day grind. I am keeping my thoughts on this goal and looking forward to day that i can say it's truly over, although i am aware that as an addict, an addict i will always be. just a clean one. prayerfully. will update again in a few weeks should anyone care to read. God bless.

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sage, thank you for backing me up with the fact we(there are many of us who need these meds to have soe quality of life) im disabled too...accident to face/spine blew out my entire cervical spine at 4 levels and my head is held up with titanium rods and it is 24/7 pain i live in and
i am sorry for going off yesterday at the person but was frustrated and so sick of being labeled from people who dont look at the flipside of the equation. but i am sorry and your right there are people abusing these meds and you have a point and i respect that and just got real mad cause im sick of being labeled a drug addict when that not the case. anyways have a nice day.

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I agree that Suboxone is awesome when it comes to withdrawals, but if I had to do it all over again, I would not have started taking it. I have been on it for almost a year now and have been trying to get off of it for 14 days now and am still having withdrawal symptoms. At least with pain pills I knew that within a week I'd be good.. well good enough to function anyway. But with Suboxone... I have spoken with people who say that it took almost three weeks for the muscle spasms and restless legs to go away. I almost called my dealer to see about getting a little heroin to help with the Suboxone withdrawals... That is how bad they have gotten. UGH! Suboxone is just another drug that you become addicted to. When in all reality, if we want to stop using why delay the inevitable? Just get it done and get it over with. This is only my opinion, however... I suggest that you do your research on Suboxone before you allow your Subox Doc to write you a prescription... You just might change your mind. As for me, well... I've come this far... tomorrow will be my 15th day trying to kick Suboxone!!! Maybe today will be the last day of my withdrawals! :) Good Luck!

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I'll have to agree with betterdays40. I will also add that my Neurologist/Neurosurgeon advised me to NEVER take Suboxone or anything like it. His exact words were "I'd rather someone continue on their pain medications than listening to doctors and anyone else totally clueless about chronic intractable pain making patients think they are an "evil drug seeker/addict because they have to take pain medications in order to have a fraction of the quality of life most enjoy!" The side effects from Suboxone are bad. Just do a Google search about it. Then compare those results to say that of Lortab. Of course a Lortab or any pain medication produces GOOD feelings. That's what it is supposed to do! It's helping our pain! People also need to understand there is a huge difference in true addiction as opposed to dependence/tolerance to a medication. Dependence and tolerance are NORMAL. This does not mean you are an addict or addicted. In fact, the majority of chronic intractable pain patients are seriously UNDERTREATED. The DEA and FDA have the doctors so scared to treat/prescribe, millions are left in sheer agony.

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Thank you for sharing a truly inspiring story on our forums!

Very glad that you got the help you needed and are recovering.

For anyone that does read this and is looking for help, you can check for local places that treat with Suboxone at the website, Suboxone.com.

And there is more information on the medication here:

https:/­/­rxchat.com/­wiki/­Suboxone/­

Are there any questions or comments?

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Good morning, Nows the time you gotta beware of relapsing. How much suboxone are you withdrawing from? Thats pretty low down they would just cut you loose because of lack of cash knowing full well you,d go into wds. But I guess money talks. Verwon replied in another post awhile back that a company called Reckitt Benckiser assists uninsured or low income people. Dr. gave me a zero copay card yesterday at my visit. It pays up to 50.00 a month till end of year on my sub. films. These are just ideas to consider if you can,t stay clean and have to go back on subs. I hope you don,t have to. Personally, I can,t wait to get off them. They have helped me by giving me time to get my head together, not allways looking to score some drugs. Its given my mind a chance to rest. I know that sounds stupid. I,m going through the taper process and gonna jump at 1mg. in a month. Hang in there and please write and let us know how your coming along.

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i am posting in response to karey's posts, and i am a bit discouraged & sad to see she has not posted since May, so that's almost 4 months, and I have that sinking feeling in my stomach...as an opiate addict who got 5 years clean without suboxone (i didn't know about it in 2005), i know the gutter despair...i also "relapsed" in early 2010 - i hate the word relapse, i know what i did...i was getting dental work done prior to a root canal and wasn't in a lot of pain yet still took the vicoprofen script from my dentist & had it filled that day. It was only for 18 crappy little pills. I put them in drawer. 5 days later, ba BOOM.....was much harder & crappier & worse this time...

I quit drinking 3 months after quitting opiates the first time (11/11/05) and to this day, 9/3/12, I've not had a drink since 2/23/06, so when i had my 7 month run february 2010 - september 2010, during the times I had no pills for a day to 4-5 days, more than anything the psychological ramifications were enough to make me comtemplate suicide. I'd forgotten how it was before when I would run out, which did not happen very often....but I always had alcohol to help mask the insidious withdrawl...
I read Karey's posts and am reminded that as crappy as my luck tends to be, i am lucky to have the health insurance that i have or no way would I have been able to stick & stay with suboxone....I do have to pay the regular office visit prices, same as people with no insurance, but my Prescription plan covers my suboxone with a $10 co pay...I cannot believe any respectable medical practice would pull the rug out from under a suboxone patient whom is under their care...i guess they figure the patient can just tide themselves over with opiates until he or she is able to fnd another suboxone-certified physician who is accepting new patients?
Ugh....awful....I hope Karey comes back online & gives us an update, maybe she's busy with her family and things are ok, or at least not horrible....wish i could split my prescription w/her....Karey if you come back online, know that i read your initial post from January of this year and i related to it on almost every level....

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suboxone=for people not wanting to get dopesick and to get off opiates. however, by taking the suboxone your now addicted to another drug. ive done it all and reccomend cold turkey and just get it over with. If your in pain, keep taking meds or whatever works, if not, stop taking the meds you dont need and stop getting high ruining it for the legit people.

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I have witnessed my husband like this for so long all I can say is it is not going to be easy but you can do it and it's going to suck but if your as low as 1 mg cold turkey is the way to go take some valarian root it's a natural remedy not addictive it will help you sleep at night. Stay strong use all the will power you have my kids are 3 and 6 and I'm still with my husband I hope and dream of the day he can be an active dad and a partner to me. I know someone who did it cold turkey and they have been clean for two years. You have a sweet little one there's a great reason to get threw it all .

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There is a coupon for Suboxone for a FREE scrip each month until December this year! You print it out once, show it to the drug store each time you get you Suboxone - You pay NOTHING for copys! Awesome! They would run me $50 a month without that coupon. So please go out to Suboxone.com and print it out. Hope this info will help others who cannot afford the help they need!

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thats all i was trying to say.
doctors took mme off my 4 80mg oxycontin(addicted) and put me on methadone in 2005 and i eventually switched back but had to go through the methadone withdrawl cold turkey and took like 3 weeks and hurt legs...with pills, 3-4 days a week tops your done...i agree and was only trying to say all there doing is moving u to another drug whether you admit or not...
i tried going clean for 1 year after my surgery....and i had gotten worse tired of suffering so filed for ssi and went back to pain management...
if your serious about quitting and can and can deal with the pain then do it cold turkey...be at noones mercy if you can get control and fck the doctors, dea, gov, and pharmacies...but if your like me and chronic....we gotta do what we can

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When I read this it described my husband and I to a T..we need help our habit is as much as yours I just can't find a clinic where I live

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Pain Doctors like mine wont deal with suboxone because using suboxone is specialized for DETOX....not pain management...this is why your dr told you to kick rocks...it wasnt personall...hes just not qualified.

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Good luck getting off suboxone. Took me a year and was the worst withdrawal symptoms ever. Good luck.

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I really appreciate your vety lengthy detailed testimony regarding your addiction. However, I think I speak for a large portion of readers who suffer chronic pain from illnesses for which pain meds are but ONE method of treatment. Unfortunately for us it is people who take pain meds for the "high" that have made it increasingly difficult for those who really need them
To get them. Worse still chronic pain sufferers are treated liike criminals. It had become a frustrating and embarassing expetience to get a schedule ll prescription fillef these days and.as previous posts to this list attest, some pharmacists have resortef to lying about the availability of pain meds.
Now on a very personal note.... I would.give ANYTHING to be pain free..to have the option you had to Stop taking the one thing that helps me to have some semblance of my regular life. Apparently you never experienced the debilitation from degenerative osteoarthritis. I pray that you always have the Choice not to take pain meds.
No doubt you may have found a small audience of people who will benefit from your experience. I just happen not to be one of them.

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What is that medication you speak of? I never took pills for fun. I have had 2 surgeries, one failed need another on my neck. Now my lower back, need 2. however, I went 6 months, doing things the holistic way, I did not want to take a pill. I was afraid of them. after 6 months, I wanted to die from the pain. So, one day, I caved. I was tired of the emergency rooms, my story is so long with what I had gone through to what I am going through. I am in chronic pain. However, everyday when I take that first pill. I don't want to. I want to go back to that day when I put that first pill in my mouth. I don't like how I feel. I have no energy, I am not happy, but this also all goes hand in hand with chronic pain. I want to stop, but there are days, the pain is so bad, I don't care, and there are days I sit and wish I never took a pill. It's been a long time. I want to find a way to stop, but when I need it desperately what am I suppose to do go to the emergency room every time? I do that to btw, not for fun, but because the pills I am taking are not working, and when I strart crying everyone knows, I am in desperate pain. This pill you speak of, is it a pain pill? without the euphoria? which I don't get. I don't get a eurporia feeling, I get a regret feeling that there I go, I took a freaking pill. I hate it. I hate pain more. The first dr I saw promised he'd have me 90% better in 6 months. That was over ... years ago. He lied. So what advice do you have for me. I want to be happy, I want to smile. I am tired of being in pain, having no life, not doing what I use to. Work out 6 days a week, water rafting, swimming (I can do a little of water items, in the summer) I can't drive for more than n hour before I have to pull over or turn around because I know I wont make it. I want to go on vacation. I remember what it is like to be happy. I would like to be happy again. Pain free (ha) at least pill free....

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Thanks for the encouragement. It should be inspiring and reassuring to all. Congratulations on your recovery & best of luck to you and your family. I'm sure it wasn't an easy road, but am glad that you've found a place in life where you are TRULY happy. God Bless...

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I had the same thing happen to me, had to up the dose a little to feel normal (if there is a NORMAL?) Not sure if that is the right thing to do but I did. Each day I am on the suboxone I feel different effects, like one day I am feeling good, the next day I hurt all over, next day I have a bad headache, next day not? Does anyone else out there have the same reaction? HELP...I just want to feel good again and be off all of the pills. Please post anything that may help me out. :)

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goodtimes40 - u are 100% correct, the doctors do NOT care. I am 100% living proof of that, as I have been going to the same doctors office (2 doctors here) since October 2010, and I have not missed a monthly appointment in all of this time. I have no plan for coming off of this stuff, the suboxone tablet is what i take, and all i have managed to do is go from 20 mgs to 8 mgs. I have a full time job that is very demanding and i barely use my vaca time because we are too busy, so I have no idea how I can have down time for withdrawal. i know i need to wean to as small of an amount as i can...i never heard about taking a short acting opiate to help, that sounds scary for someone like me.foyplv

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What an incredible story. I made my calls yesterday to get on Suboxone. My pain management doctor will not deal with it telling me that I would just be exchanging one opiate for another so I have been researching on my own. I am feeling really good about my decision to do something about my Norco addiction before it does me in. I am curious as how you are doing at this point and are you still on Suboxone and if so do you plan on getting off that someday?

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