Terrified And So Alone

Updated

So this is my real cry for help and I pray that I can find it here, I'm a young woman, kids, beautiful home, hubby, great job, blah blah from the outside. The truth is that I have had approx 18 knee surgeries over the years including a total knee replacement, I got on percocet cause it really did help with pain, I have never done any drugs, no cannabis, don't drink, nothing!!! I have the pressure of the world on me to be this perfect person, I come from a family of addicts and I have made it my life's mission to stay away from that life, I started to like the percocet and worked my way up to about 30 per day!! I've changed a lot, I'm super irritable, depressed cause I'm so scared and mad at myself. I went to the clinic and had to face this head on I start suboxone on Tuesday and will be at work all day in withdrawl while serving the public, terrified, a day off is not an option, I will also be going to work on Wednesday day 1 of suboxone, what should I expect!? I'm so scared and angry with myself, I have experience w/d before and seriously with how incredibly busy my life is, there isn't a free minute for me to withdrawl alone.. Have I made the right decision? Will I instantly feel better after taking sub, since I have to work on Tuesday, should I not take anything at all? My apt with suboxone is at 4pm. I know it only takes a cpl hours before I feel the w/d.. Would it be wrong to take anything early that am? The morning is the hardest time for me!! So scared

16 Replies

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1

Hi getting informed, You will need to be in WD for 16-18 hrs. before you take suboxone. Got these times from my sub dr. If you do not wait you,ll go into whats called precipitated wds. I,m talking trip to emergency rm. stuff. Do not lie to your sub dr. about the last time you took your DOC. This is crucial. If your app. is at 4PM you could wake up at 2AM and take what you normally do. That should help for awhile. About half hr. or less after you take your first dose of sub. your WD symptoms should be gone. A lot of people will have a minor headache the first couple days until you get used to it. Some people have reported feeling tired. After a day or two you,ll just feel normal. I,m no doctor just another person with a opiate problem. Remember everyone is different. Subs can be helpful but remember they are addicting. The good thing about them is they give you time to start getting your head together. You,ll just stop thinking about getting high, where your gonna score and that sort of thing. Keep in touch and let us know how your doing. DON,T FORGET, tell the truth when DR. asks you when was the last time you took anything.

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2

Hello, GettingInformed! How are things going?

Yes, you have to be in full withdrawal, before you can take Suboxone, just as Jolter stated.

Learn more Suboxone details here.

And from what most people have said, it seems that it works pretty fast to kill the withdrawals and make you feel better.

This is a narcotic analgesic, so it has the potential to be habit forming and may cause side effects, such as nausea, dizziness, drowsiness, dry mouth and constipation.

Being depressed and scared is normal, but you should take courage from the fact that you are doing the right thing.

Are there any other questions or concerns?

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3

they are right...but if it has been that long you will be fine...suboxone is not going to give a buzz at all but it will stop the withdraw...Good Luck...

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4

Thank you for your response, I started suboxone successfully, I worked all day yesterday throigh the worst hell ever, glad I did, totally made me appreciate what help I was gunna get, no pain, no gain... I asked to be on a mild dose.
6mg. I felt great in half an hr... I know my body pretty well and I waited 12 full hrs to take suboxone after my last very small dose of percocet in the middle of the night the night before!! I'm not feeling great today a little sweaty and my joints hurt like hell, after all that's what started this in the first place.. I have had multiple knee surgeries and have chronic pain!! I have osteo degenerative arthritis.. I took some Advil after calling the doc and making sure it was okay to do so.. And I feel a little better.. Wondering if my dose is too low or this is a side effect, I've had cold sweats today and runny nose also and the joint pain... Wondering if I should say something or just suck it up. I plan to taper as soon as possible from the sub as well... What do u think

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5

Not sure what to tell you except the lower the dose the faster you can wean down and off. Then on the other hand that might not be a good thing for you yet. Everyones different. One thing I like about subs is that they give you time to see things in the light, so to speak. They give you time to fiquire out what you need to do so you don,t fall back into the 30 pill/day thing. I don,t know if your on correct dose, I,m no dr. Sounds like your having slight wds. How ya been sleeping? You might want to see what happens over the weekend and if symptoms don,t go away call sub dr. Don,t adjust your own dose, ask dr. first. Remember what happened when you started taking more and more Percs. You don,t want that happening again.

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6

I have been in same place except i was on codiene i took 48 pills and was so hhooked i almost died during a home detox,i got on bup and haven't touched a pill yet,don't take anything,you have to be I'm withdrawal before taking the bup,if you are determed and you. have a good doc you will get there,start thinking about what you are going to do regarding pain managgement and although u have a long journey a week after u start bup you will feel heaps better and feel much more clarity,things won't seem so hopeless even though you take it daily somehow you feel lless trapped by the cycle of addiction

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7

Thanx for your reaponse, today is day 4. I saw the doctor again this am and he changed me from 6 to 8mg. I was very uncomfortable with changing the dose as I really don't wanna feel like I'm subbing one drug for another, truthfully, I want to be off sub ASAP and call it a lesson learned. I will stay here for 2 weeks and go down .5 mg per week until this is over.. I have read way to many horror stories of ppl staying on sub forever. The doctor told me that it's also a great drug for pain management.. Ugh. This whole experience has been so scary and draining.. I'm wondering if I've made a mistake in starting sub in the first place and perhaps should have just roughed it out at home..

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8

Subs work well for pain. I need a knee replacement and do very physical work for living so I can tell you it does help painwise. Some countries prescribe subs for pain. Not so much if at all in the states that I know of. A lot of people on these sites say they don,t do much for pain but I disagree. Subs also have a ceiling effect, that just means that after so many mgs " I think its 32" they don,t help anymore. Just thought I,d throw that in. Hang in there.

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9

Ugh a knee replacement, good luck, it's a very invasive hard core operation that requires tons of patience and will power.. I had one and I'm fighting to keep the other leg a few years longer... I was just kinda hoping that I wouldn't become super dependent on sub and that I could utilize it during the time I know the wd from the percocets would be in place, hoping to maintain a low dose and get off of it, it's super degrading to have little teens at a pharm dispense my medication while having me stand in front of them until it is all gone.. Foolish and degrading, not to mention the clinic, extremely uncomfortable place to be and I stick out like a sore thumb... I do not look like the other people there, I do jot judge anyone and in no way shape or form do I feel above anyone, clearly I wound myself in this situation same way everyone else did.. Sorry for rambling.. I have so many feelings, ashamed, humbled, disgraced, embarrassed, determined, pissed, degrated.. Ugh I am looking for the light at the end of the tunnel, my head is totally telling me that I don't need to get hooked on sub and just stop after about a full week and rough it...

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10

Hi, Not quite sure what you meant by " teens in pharmacy and having to stand in front of them until its all gone? " anyways, screw them, I,m 57yrs old and could care less what anyone thinks. I,m just trying to get my life back.

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11

Well the way it works here is that I have to go to the pharmacy, give my name, the little young kid pills my name up, sees what the script is.. Has a good look at me then comes on over with it and says take it and stand here until it's gone, then open your mouth and show it's actually gone.... I am a grown ass woman and clearly opted to go through treatment without being forced, this isn't methadone and I should not have to stand on display like that in front of anyone.. This is a huge deterrent for me personally, I just want to be able to pick up my prescription as if it was any other and walk out unshamed. This is a hard process and I suppose I'm going through the motions, really this has been my only support, my husband is NOT supportive and. Could care less, I appreciate u taking the time to chat with me throughout this craziness.. I'm so scared and hate not being in full control or knowing what to expect tomorrow..

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12

I,ve never heard of such a thing. Are you saying you have to take the strip in the pharmacy and wait for it to disolve? Your suppose to get a two week or month and sometimes a month with 1 refill script to take home. Then take it at home. Do you have to do this everyday?

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13

Not here in ontario, it's day by day, each day when u first start the program for the first 8 weeks or so u have to go to the pharmacy and physically take the tablet in front of the pharmacist.. Then see the doctor at least once a week, where he will make sure the urine is clean and give a script for the next cpl days.. It's insane, treated like a true untrustworthy addict.. I can understand this method for methadone, but not this.. This is totally different. I am so irritated by this process I am seriously thinking of saying f*** it and just doing it on my own... I am a mother of 3 and work full time, I don't have the time for all the runaround and bulls***.. It is super degrading and frustrating.. I am no better then anyone but seriously let's state the facts, I have had 19 knee operations and truthfully I started abusing painkillers, some days worse then others but this was a very short term situation, I don't drink, smoke cannabis, or have never used any other recreational drug in my life, I had weaned myself down to about 10 percs per day before going and trying out this suboxone thing... Having to go to pharmacy everyday and dosing in front of them and any other customer standing behind me is seriously uneccessary... I totally get the idea of building trust with the doctor but seriously just look at my urine and that says it all... I think the doctor just wants to keep ppl on this, I told him that I only wanted a low enough dose to stabilize me so I could still work and function then get off and tough it out, he tells me that I should remain on it for a min of a year then consider weining off... That's madness.. By then I will be super dependent on it and it will be hell to come off.. At this point I have taken it a total of 5 times and I assume that I would be almost done with the actual opiate withdrawl by now or in a cpl more days, why keep on subs?? I only wanted to use it to get past the dangerous withdrawl stage... I can't handle being degraded and wasting so much time, I have zero problem providing urine on demand to prove that I clean and not using any opiates.. But come on, everyday pharmacy visit.. I now have to leave my house at 6 am instead of 7 am to go to work so I can find the only 24 hr pharmacy near my house and get it before I go to work.. That's nuts.. I'm not an idiot, and I have done my research. I have never seen other clinics that do it this way, write me a script for a week or two and leave me alone.. I plan to tell him Tuesday night when I go to my next apt that I can't do this s*** and I am about to just go cold turkey.. I plan to research a bit more, I don't to take this for so long that I have become super dependent on it.. If I can stop it now, I'm totally clean and sober of everything, no doctor bs, no urine bs, no pharmacy bs, and certainly no handcuffs of any kind to anything.. This is too much.. I'm gunna demand that as of Tuesday, I go from 8mg to 6, the following week 4 mg and the following 2.. And done.. This is not for me

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14

This is true,where i live the public clinics send patients through to an observation room after dosing to be monitored,since the introduction of suboxone they have only been monitoring high risk ppl.I guess its pretty common for ppl to spit out their meds so they can abuse them.

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15

Hi Terrified and alone. Ya, your situation sucks. I don,t know what to tell you. If dr. let you do the 8-6-4-2 thats a month you,ll be taking subs and even 2mgs are kind of high to jump off. Problem with subs is there so strong and they have an incredibly long half life. Then again if you just stop at 8mgs after a week I have no idea what would happen. If you were abusing percs lets say for a year and you take subs for 1 week to stop wds then you stop subs I still think your gonna be hurting when the sub wears off. Your systems gonna need time to adjust to not having anything. I,m no dr. This is just what I,ve allways thought. Wish I could be more help. Good luck with those quacks tommorow.

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16

I think your onto something you're absolutely correct,i. have tapered off this stuff. and methadone aswell and the slower the better

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