Opiate Dependence

I am wondering about the subs. So that being said, here is my story and i want any advice or facts you can give on my situation, with a very big PLEASE at the end. Please try to follow this, its confusing in parts but in the end, i am addicted to opiates....plain truth with a little explination. My oldests sons father and i used to take 5 mg percs and do crazy cute stuff like feed ducks and go play at toys r us cause we would feel all lovey dovey and cute and all that towards each other. That was back in like 2005-2007. That was not a problem. It was only if we got some from an actual injury or something, every once in a while over that span, never anything else. But that introduced me to taking them without needing to. Then in 2008 i had acl replacement, i was given percs before surgery for the pain i was in. I had takin more than needed at that time but was in real pain, i guess would take 2 when only 1 was needed. I gradually stopped taking them after surgery but deff knew i liked em then. So in 2009 i had stopped cause the new year came n went during recovery of knee. So in 2010, i was still doing physical therapy for my acl. They had me do this one move that from that moment forward my back and upper thigh have never been the same. I can replicate the move but thus far no doc has asked me too, (that in itself would be helpful to see if i were them). So i had been in pain periodically since that, no one knew why. They did nerve tests n stuff, mri, things like that. Well i also had gastric bypass in 2010. Had pain meds after that too, and actually docs had been giving me a few here n there after that due to that back and leg pain, while trying to figure it out. I did go to a pain managment doc and he did the mri actually, found one punged disc (sticking out). He did like 2 IV's, they did nothing. Found i was pregnant later that year, pm would no longer see me. I found a regular doc that would provide pm for me. He also tried me on so many other things besides narcs like nerve meds trying hard to find the problem being that my leg was most of the pain at that point. Then he had to keep raising my narc level as i told him it wasnt working anymore. Now i can be honest here, im not sure if it wasnt working for the pain anymore or for my euphoria feeling. So when he said he would not see me anymore that i had to go to a pregnancy specialist, perinatology, i was at 80 mg oxy 2 times a day with 10 mg percs every 4 hrs. Now i do have to say that doc had built me up to that but was going by my pain level i was saying, he did see me every week cause of being pregnant and once we had started on the meds, well, actually i was on them when i came to him, just not much, he said it would be too risky to the baby to take me off just like that. But he was worried about the high level i was taking and wanted me with a specialist so discharged me from him. Also during seeing him i did try to stop cold turkey not knowing what a withdrawl was and OMG. Its hell on earth. Went through it about 24 hrs. Others know what im talking about. Thought i was gona die or wanted to. Went back and saw that doc when he was seeing me and he told me why i was feeling that way and told me my body was dependent. So on to the peri....he told me he would not keep writing these drugs for me, i had to go to a methadone treatment clinic (out patient). It was an hr away. But in fear of withdrawl again and my baby, i did it. So for a month i paid the money and traveled with my eldest the hr every day to dose. Then after a month, the peri called my bluff, he wanted to see how serious i was and when he saw i was, he then wrote scripts for methadone tablets every week for me. I took 80 mg a day to maintain me during pregnancy. We knew the baby might come out with dependence issues and need to be weined and all that. I hated it but at that point what was i to do. I didnt know the effects or anything of this poisoness drug until i was already all in. So i have my baby, the only problem he had was not keeping food down, so he did go in the nicu for 7 days cause he had dropped too much birth weight. The peri continued to see me for the next 3 months and dropped my dose each week. If i had to skip one week cause things were hard, he was understanding, but i was very serious about it and pushed myself. So in the last two weeks he gave me my last script and said i need you to wein yourself done in the next two weeks. At the same time as weining he also gave me chlonidine to help with blood pressur and keeping calm and all that it can do for you. It helps opiate users detox actually, if you read up on it. And also amitriptyline for sleep and restless leg syndrome. So after the two weeks i came to see him one last time and also brought him a script that an old doc gave me for 80 mg oxys that i could have filled at any time but the point was to give it to this man who saved my life. I was so proud to hand it to him and let him know he was the reason i didnt need it. And i thanked him soooo much. And in case anyone wants to know, i have medicaid and the methadone clinics dont take it but the perinatologist does and the ins does cover methadone written by a doctor. Its the methadone clinics that choose not to take medicaid. But medicaid will also cover a suboxone clinic, just not the initial visit of intake, but the visits and meds therafter. Okayyyyy, so im at home with my husband, new baby and eldest son, for about a year, opi free for that long. Then out of nowhere my back starts hurting and over time its more frequent and worse. I have an mri done. Wait wait, since being a gastric bypass patient, i cant take otc stuff besides tylenol. I cant have anything with NSAIDS. that includes advil, ibprophen, motrin, all of that, anything for inflamation, cant have. So im already limited. Tramadol didnt work then either. So the mri shows 2 punged discs, a hurniated disc, a piece of disc floating not attached, but not too big of an issue, arthritis on a disc and i probably have a bad si joint but they cant tell exactly. Although i have had a nerve test done i still feel like it could be siatica too. I still have the leg pain and pain in my one buttock. All of my pain is on the same side. So i go to the pain mangment again. Now the mri was done aug 12. Now here i am aug 13. We have done some epideral IV's, not much help. A nerve block which was minimal help on the back but we are repeating next week. If its helpful then, then we will burn the nerves for a 6 month helpful period. But now i am on 30 mg oxy er 2 times a day with 10 mg percs for breakthrough up to 3 a day. I have run out of meds almost every month and when i told the pm doc that it wasnt enouph, he said thats the most he does for anyone and if im needing more he will have to reffer me to a suboxone doc. Now subs dont help with pain ive read so i guess he thinks im just hooked. That is partially true. I do have real pain, but do i have self control to take the meds only when needed? NOOOOO. i like that i love everyone, feel great, have energy, patience with my kids and husband, and all that, worlds greatest mom attitude. If not i have no patience for anyone or anything. Oh and i do take 1 mg xanex for anxiety too. So here i am thinking though that i know i do have pain, but is it to a point where tramadol might work if my craving for opiates is controlled by suboxone. So i got one from the father of my first child that all this started with as he is prescribed it now, he had gotten really bad over time. And it works for me well. Since tuesday i have needed something for pain once and this is thurs. i took tramadol. Have no idea if that is what worked or if it cause i sat down a while to watch a movie and the pain went away that way. I know the subs have opiate high blockers but since tram is not opiate, can it still help your pain? If so, i mY be able to get on subs myself and take only tram for pain. That is the point of the subs from HIM. i am out of narcs and tramadol can curve that, im living proof of that, but i also had a seizure a few months ago from od of tramadol. 25 in one day, not cool. So now if i run out of narcs 8-12 tram a day works. I take 4 in the morn, 4 again around 4 pm and then 3-4 if im up after 11 or 12. That works when i have no narcs for the withdrawls and patience a little but it also makes me zoned out and like a zombie, cant stand that. So i said yes to the sub so i wouldnt have withdrawls but i also want to see how real my pain is. And so far, the wanting of narcs is 80% in my head and wanting the euphoria feeling which i used to create on my own before i ever touched opiates. Thats what i need to get back to again. And i did it once. I can do it again. So ive takin the subs 2 mg in the am and 2 in the pm. Have no idea what that means with that medicine but thats what works for me. I will see if he can give me another one to keep my test going as i see pm on monday. I would have back surgery to fix my issues but im terrified it wont work or will be worse and i have a 50 lb 2 year old to lift also right now that puts back surgery out of my options for a while. So any advice, help, knowledge, on my situation. Please dont scold me or give the obvious reply of well if its in ur head then get off it, i know that. But i actually do have pain that is chronic and just cause it hasnt flared up that bad since tues doesnt mean it wont and if i switch to subs, then how do i deal with pain and if i dont ill always be out of pain meds. So control it? Easier said then done. I have a terrible twos child and the other with adhd and severe anxiety and behavioral issues. He is even on dissability due to his behavior and he is 6. So imagine me a stay at home mom now trying to come off this stuff or control it with all of this going on and our house hold struggling to make ends meet, these are hard times now. So again, any help is appriciated in advance.....

REPLY

REPORT

1 Reply

Suboxone can also be used to treat pain, so using it wouldn't leave you in miserable pain. It actually contains a very potent narcotic called Buprenorphine.

Learn more Suboxone details here.

The blocker in it is Naloxone, which helps prevent the abuse of other opiates, while you're being treated with it.

You can check for doctors that treat with it in your area at the website Suboxone.com

Your other option, which would be cheaper is Methadone, but it requires close monitoring at the clinic, which for many people means daily trips and that may not be practical, since you're a stay at home mom.

Learn more Methadone details here.

Can you post back and let me know how things are going?

REPLY

Was this helpful? 0

This is the question. Most pain patients become dependent on thier pain meds which is not addiction. we need them to liv...

1 REPLY

Does anyone else suffer from Nuvigil addiction? I suffer from depression and my Dr put me on this in 2012. I was fine an...

2 REPLIES

I know others have put down the bottle; why can't I? Have had rehab, probation (that kind of worked as I was tested ...

2 REPLIES

Can any one help? I've been on and off taking diazepam for sleep 20-30 mg twice a week at most for mainly this year,...

2 REPLIES

Generally how long does it take to be physically dependent on Tramadol? tks. CItyboy. ## There is no set time frame to g...

1 REPLY

I am a healthy woman in my 60's and I am struggling with anxiety. I have found great relief taking small amounts (1 ...

6 REPLIES

I am starting Suboxone tomorrow. I normally take 4 x 40 mg Oxycodone per day and also take 5 to 6 Vicodin ES. I want to ...

4 REPLIES

As you all know, opioid dependence is more common than the abuse of or dependence on any other type of prescription medi...

2 REPLIES

When it comes to anxiety, the truth is that coping mechanisms (medically & behaviorally) are different for everyone....

31 REPLIES

I like a lot of other people got addicted to opiates by a doctor that convinced me of a back problem that I never had..a...

8 REPLIES