Addiction, Suboxone-opiates

Hi, my name is Rebecca. I have been using opiates for about 3 years now, but I've only been addicted to opiates for a year now. I say opiates but I go back and forth between opiates and suboxone. For the past year I have been using suboxone almost everyday(supplied by boyfriend) and he does it too. Last week my boyfriend and I went through a nasty breakup and he hasn't been giving me anymore suboxone or using it himself either. We were together 5 years and were happy(I'm absolutely devastated.) snd we also LIVE TOGETHER. however, I could go on about what's been going on in the relationship and how upset I have been, and him just going out and partying like nothing happened, but that's not why I'm typing this. So back to last week, we broke up and quit taking suboxone. Just stopped suddenly after the break up. I was ok for two days after stopping and then the serious withdrawals started kicking in. I was almost completely thru detox and my boyfriend(or ex now) got us 5-50 mcg fentanyl patches and I've been doing them everyday(in portions) but today we ran out and I'm so depressed and hurting. My body aches and I just can't stop crying. It makes it worse when I'm going thru all this and on top of everything my finals are also next week :(. So my question is: did the fentanyl patches kick the withdrawal process in? And should I have not done them?

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Okay, the first issue on your boyfriend here is that 'he who cares least, has all the power." So, by him going out partying and acting like he doesn't care, he's taken all the power in the situation, because it's driving you crazy.

It may hurt, but if you two are still broken up, then you need to stop letting him know that any of it bothers you. As soon as you do that, then he'll start to wonder why.

And at the point you were at, it was difficult to say what kicked in the withdrawal, you were really dealing with a lot of issues at once.

Learn more Fentanyl details here.

Learn more Suboxone details here.

How are you doing now?

Have you considered getting professional help for your issues?

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I have had a similar experience. I was taking (8-10) 30mg oxycontin a day and was getting them from a girlfriend. I went on my own to a suboxone clinic recommended by a friend and started to take daily what they prescribed. It was OK for a bit when I was just taking the Suboxone. Then....my girlfriend and I split up and during that time I started looking for other options to deal with the PHYSICAL pain, (i.e. Ruptured Disc L4-L5-OCT 2008;Complete Tib/Fib Dislocation/Torn Peroneal Tendon/Nerve of Right ankle-DEC 2010:Still hasn't healed after more than 2 years), but the EMOTIONAL pain is what i was really looking to relieve. I found 4-100mcg/hr Fentanyl patches also and cut them into 25 mcg pieces to get thru. I had to get more suboxone to kick the fentanyl and thats when i found out that suboxone has a half life that gives you roughly a 2 day "GRACE" period before hell kicks in! Basically to help with your question. Fentanyl is 80 times more powerful than morphine. So yeah...Prob a bad idea to mess with those at anytime but especially during a breakup. I believe the reason you had two days that weren't so bad was because of the suboxone and half life. And YES....taking Fentanyl definitely made the problem worse. I hope you are doing better now and I'm not going to preach. But I will say that I have been clean and sober now for 4 months with nothing except Aleve to help with the pain! Narcotics Anonymous Meetings take place all over the world everyday and night and I landed at one of these NA meetings(That i didn't want to attend) feeling left out, alone, angry, frustrated, and misunderstood. Everyone seemed so f***ing happy.(It made me sick...to say the least) I said F*** IT, and just laid out what was going on with my life and addiction to these complete strangers. What i got in return was the true help that I needed(NOT MORE/DIFFERENT DRUGS) and guidance from people that have been through this stuff before. They helped me thru my withdrawals(Gave me exactly what my DR. prescribed;not what I thought I should have), and the weeks of suffering that followed my stopping all drugs.(BE PREPARED...IT'S NO FUN GETTING CLEAN....BUT SOOOOO WORTH IT!)It felt like I was going to die at the time but now I want to live like never before. Please have the courage to say YOU'RE WORTH IT! Your local phone book will have the # for Narcotics Anonymous. A recovering addict will take your call....not a f***ing idiot that has no clue what they are talking about. Well it might be a f***ing idiot LOL (but they are answering those phones as volunteers to give back what was given freely to them and it helps them just as much...if not more than it helps you) but at the very least they will be able to point you towards true help and a meeting. If you want to stay clean...Drop the boyfriend! It's the only way to give yourself a better chance at staying clean. If I posted to late and your already back at it just remember "WE DO WHAT WE DO UNTIL WE DON'T!" I wish you all the best....clean or not! You're worth it.

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