Was Badly Addicted To Hydrocodone/oxycodone/percocet For 7 Years. Am Now Free Thanks To Buprenorphine(suboxone).


Not real sure why exactly it is that I feel it necessary to post here in this forum. Maybe I'm hoping that someone looking for help will read this and make the same decision myself and my husband did. 7 years ago I was introduced to the joys and wonderous feelings of pain pills. Always working in the restuarant industry as a server/ bartender, the high I got from taking tabs or percs or whatever I could get my hands on led me to believe that I was a better server, better at my job, made more money, could talk to people more openly and be a happier person all around. At first, like the beginning 3 years I would take 1 to 3 lortab 10 mg in one day and be hopping around all over the place till the wee hours of the morning, talking everyone's head off and energized to the max. As the habit grew, it took more and more to get that same feeling. I didn't even realize how addicted I was. When the pills would run out, I would notice not feeling well, tired, flu like almost but just thought I was getting sick. I was entirely stupid to the fact that I was experiencing withdrawal symptoms. It wasn't until about the 5th year of my opiate abuse that I started to understand and research what was happening to me when my stash ran out. It hit me like a bag a bricks that my life was going downhill fast and something had to be done. But I couldn't stop. I still had to work. In a restaurant. I still had to function and without the pills functioning was not a possibility. Then me and my husband got married and decided we wanted a child more than anything in the world. She was the first best decision we ever made. I quit everything the day I found out I was having out little girl. October 12 2009. Surprisingly easy it was too. Pills, cigarettes, pot, everything was out the window and knowing she was inside me, needing me to make sure she was healthy as possible meant I could stop it all and not look back. Until the day she was born of course. Almost 4 hours of pushing does a very painful number on a woman's lady parts and I did not hesitate to call the nurse exactly at every 4 hour mark to bring my pain meds for the whole 2 days we spent in the hospital. Then they send you home with a small script of tabs, like 24. So slowly but surely I was spiraling back down the hole of addiction again. It was still under control until the day after Thanksgiving of 2010. My husband wound up in the hospital for a week after having a major surgery done for a condition called a "spontaneous pneumothorax". basically an air pocket in the lung cavity causing the lung to collapse a small percentage. very invasive and painful surgery though. He was out of work for like 6 weeks and you best believe that every one of those weeks was spent gobbling oxycodone by both of us like there was no tomorrow. It was over after that. no going back to sobriety. We must work now and the demands of a small child are beyond exhausting. In my mind, I could not take care of her without pills. I needed to be supermom. Until one day about 6 weeks ago, we woke up and had hit rock bottome. Because of our very expensive pill habbit, the power was turned off, the water got turned off, the phones/cable/internet was gone and even the tags and insurance on the both our cars were expired. All in one day. What an awakening and excuse my language, but what a piece of s*** I felt like. How could I do this to my now 18 month old little girl who is the light of our life and what we live for. It was not fair to her, and certainly not what I wanted life for the 3 of us to be like. Not to mention I had went back to college last August and was damn near flunking for all the time and energy I wasted texting, calling, and searching out my next fix. I couldn't study, couldnt pay attention in class. Couldn't do anything for this filthy love of pain pills. So on the day of "almost loosing everything" I decided it had to stop. Something had to give or I'd have to give up my little girl and I would rather die than live without her. It took me 2 weeks to get up the nerve to go a place called Recovery concepts about 15 miles from my home. 2 weeks of misery, though because I still had to keep finding our fixes because as we all know as addicts you cannot deal with withdrawal symptoms and still care for children and work. I didn't want the pills anymore but had to take them just to feel normal. So anyway, Recovery Concepts was the 2nd best decision I ever made in my life. The process of talking with counselors and having blood drawn and seeing the doctor all the while being in the first stages of withdrawal was long and I very nearly walked out as people were texting me telling me they had tabs for me to buy. But I could not leave. I kept thinking of my little girl and it was her that made me stay. I had to make life better for her and by God I was going to do it that day. it took about 4 hours of waiting and seeing counselors before I got my first 4mg dose of suboxone. After about 30 min I noticed the cold sweats going away. It wasn't quite enough for me though, as I was up to 100mg plus of lortab per day. At 12 mg of suboxone, I felt perfect. I went home to my husband feeling like a million bucks and exclaiming that going there was the best thing I ever did. He started going the next week and our lives have completely changed for the better since then. He is at 16 mg of suboxone (16.00$/day) and I at 12 mg(14.00$/day), which to some may seem a hefty price, but when you consider we were spending anywhere from 100 to 150/day on tabs or roxy's or percs or whatever, well we are now saving quite a bit of moolah. We go early in the morning to take our dose and we feel great all day! I have the energy I need to go to school and take care of our baby and the house. He feels great enough to work all day and come home and play with the baby and the most important thing is that we are happy doing all these things. I think the suboxone actually has helped me also because I was going into a severe depression still addicted to opiates. I was so upset with myself and life and I just couldn't be happy knowing how stuck we were. Everything has changed for us now, and I am so thankful for the clinic and for my friend that told us about the place. Suboxone gives you another chance at life. At least for me it has. Get off pain pills without withdrawals and long term recovery support for people who have had a long term habit. I just could not have done it alone, even if I had toughed out the withdrawals. My life was centered around finding, buying, eating and loving pain pills and I could not have won the fight of quitting alone. I hope this helps someone out there and if not, well I feel better telling someone my story as no one in my life but my husband knows it. Feel free after reading this to ask any questions. I will be glad to answer as best I can. And i beg you, if you are reading this searching for way out, consider a recovery clinic in your area or doctor that can prescribe you suboxone. it can change your life. thanks for reading.

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Thank you for sharing a truly inspiring story on our forums!

Very glad that you got the help you needed and are recovering.

For anyone that does read this and is looking for help, you can check for local places that treat with Suboxone at the website, Suboxone.com.

And there is more information on the medication here:


Are there any questions or comments?

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Thanks for the encouragement. It should be inspiring and reassuring to all. Congratulations on your recovery & best of luck to you and your family. I'm sure it wasn't an easy road, but am glad that you've found a place in life where you are TRULY happy. God Bless...

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Just as an update to my earlier post, it's now been almost six months since entering the treatment clinic, and due to finances can no longer afford to continue in the program. I do still firmly believe that suboxone is a valid method of addiction treatment, but I would like to state that if you don't get the opportunity to slowly taper off of suboxone, that the withdrawal symptoms are just as bad as those of lortab. I had to stop going to the treatment center on monday and by wednesday was not feeling well at all. I have actually had to use lortab just to take a small fraction of the edge off of the w/d symptoms, as I still have to work and take care of my daughter, which is nearly impossible when you feel like as if you have the worst flu of your life. I certainly would not consider myself relapsing, all i truly want is to be free of addictions and to feel like a normal functioning human being that doesnt have to take narcotics to "feel" ok in the normal day-to-day grind. I am keeping my thoughts on this goal and looking forward to day that i can say it's truly over, although i am aware that as an addict, an addict i will always be. just a clean one. prayerfully. will update again in a few weeks should anyone care to read. God bless.

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Good morning, Nows the time you gotta beware of relapsing. How much suboxone are you withdrawing from? Thats pretty low down they would just cut you loose because of lack of cash knowing full well you,d go into wds. But I guess money talks. Verwon replied in another post awhile back that a company called Reckitt Benckiser assists uninsured or low income people. Dr. gave me a zero copay card yesterday at my visit. It pays up to 50.00 a month till end of year on my sub. films. These are just ideas to consider if you can,t stay clean and have to go back on subs. I hope you don,t have to. Personally, I can,t wait to get off them. They have helped me by giving me time to get my head together, not allways looking to score some drugs. Its given my mind a chance to rest. I know that sounds stupid. I,m going through the taper process and gonna jump at 1mg. in a month. Hang in there and please write and let us know how your coming along.

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maybe cause you were a drug addict and taking the meds to get high like you said-your words...as for alot of us that take these meds responsibly that are in chronic pain need these meds to function and have some quality of life so thanx for the offer for help but your advise in my situation really doesnt apply to me or the thousands of people who are in pain.

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Yes Karey, I am so glad you decided to get help and I pray you take up the advice to seek financial assistance with the subs. Like Betterdays40 though I am too in a lot of pain. I am disabled after a life of really hard work, got caught up in the women's movement and ended up in construction which a woman's body is really not built for. I am 65 and do take my Norco responsibly, not just as a means to get high but to just be able to function close to normal like being able to load the dishwasher or vaccuum the house. I am also bipolar so tend at times to overdo it. My daughter calls it being supermom. Recently I have not had any transportation and was unable to get to my doctor's office so I went without my meds for 3 months. I call it my cleaning out period but the house is a wreck! I do have an appointment in September and look forward to becoming productive once more. God Bless you and your family and wellness to all of you!

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sage, thank you for backing me up with the fact we(there are many of us who need these meds to have soe quality of life) im disabled too...accident to face/spine blew out my entire cervical spine at 4 levels and my head is held up with titanium rods and it is 24/7 pain i live in and
i am sorry for going off yesterday at the person but was frustrated and so sick of being labeled from people who dont look at the flipside of the equation. but i am sorry and your right there are people abusing these meds and you have a point and i respect that and just got real mad cause im sick of being labeled a drug addict when that not the case. anyways have a nice day.

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i am posting in response to karey's posts, and i am a bit discouraged & sad to see she has not posted since May, so that's almost 4 months, and I have that sinking feeling in my stomach...as an opiate addict who got 5 years clean without suboxone (i didn't know about it in 2005), i know the gutter despair...i also "relapsed" in early 2010 - i hate the word relapse, i know what i did...i was getting dental work done prior to a root canal and wasn't in a lot of pain yet still took the vicoprofen script from my dentist & had it filled that day. It was only for 18 crappy little pills. I put them in drawer. 5 days later, ba BOOM.....was much harder & crappier & worse this time...

I quit drinking 3 months after quitting opiates the first time (11/11/05) and to this day, 9/3/12, I've not had a drink since 2/23/06, so when i had my 7 month run february 2010 - september 2010, during the times I had no pills for a day to 4-5 days, more than anything the psychological ramifications were enough to make me comtemplate suicide. I'd forgotten how it was before when I would run out, which did not happen very often....but I always had alcohol to help mask the insidious withdrawl...
I read Karey's posts and am reminded that as crappy as my luck tends to be, i am lucky to have the health insurance that i have or no way would I have been able to stick & stay with suboxone....I do have to pay the regular office visit prices, same as people with no insurance, but my Prescription plan covers my suboxone with a $10 co pay...I cannot believe any respectable medical practice would pull the rug out from under a suboxone patient whom is under their care...i guess they figure the patient can just tide themselves over with opiates until he or she is able to fnd another suboxone-certified physician who is accepting new patients?
Ugh....awful....I hope Karey comes back online & gives us an update, maybe she's busy with her family and things are ok, or at least not horrible....wish i could split my prescription w/her....Karey if you come back online, know that i read your initial post from January of this year and i related to it on almost every level....

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There is a coupon for Suboxone for a FREE scrip each month until December this year! You print it out once, show it to the drug store each time you get you Suboxone - You pay NOTHING for copys! Awesome! They would run me $50 a month without that coupon. So please go out to Suboxone.com and print it out. Hope this info will help others who cannot afford the help they need!

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I had the same thing happen to me, had to up the dose a little to feel normal (if there is a NORMAL?) Not sure if that is the right thing to do but I did. Each day I am on the suboxone I feel different effects, like one day I am feeling good, the next day I hurt all over, next day I have a bad headache, next day not? Does anyone else out there have the same reaction? HELP...I just want to feel good again and be off all of the pills. Please post anything that may help me out. :)

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suboxone is for people afraid of getting opiate dope sick. and personally ive had methadone and finally went cold turkey but if your going to stop, your going to wanna get off suboxene too or whatever. in the end it just prevents and delays the inevitable withdrawl. just be strong minded ive gone cold turkey 2 times since july 2012 cause of new doctors/old getting shut down and still looking for dr. i think if your spending money on suboxene r crazy...just get dopesick for 2-3 days and its over and no suboxene, methadone or anything....just be stronger than the weak junkies. youll be fine cold turkey. i went from 2 30's oxy ir a day to zero once shut down and was ok in the end...never threw up just bathroom alot, tired, aching legs for week or 2. but everything was fine just in alot of pain...whatever you were taking the med sto help u with the pain is going to hurt alot more as your body wont have its narcotic to give the pain relief...its no fun and hope i never have to do it again...dam dea making lives hard to live.

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I agree that Suboxone is awesome when it comes to withdrawals, but if I had to do it all over again, I would not have started taking it. I have been on it for almost a year now and have been trying to get off of it for 14 days now and am still having withdrawal symptoms. At least with pain pills I knew that within a week I'd be good.. well good enough to function anyway. But with Suboxone... I have spoken with people who say that it took almost three weeks for the muscle spasms and restless legs to go away. I almost called my dealer to see about getting a little heroin to help with the Suboxone withdrawals... That is how bad they have gotten. UGH! Suboxone is just another drug that you become addicted to. When in all reality, if we want to stop using why delay the inevitable? Just get it done and get it over with. This is only my opinion, however... I suggest that you do your research on Suboxone before you allow your Subox Doc to write you a prescription... You just might change your mind. As for me, well... I've come this far... tomorrow will be my 15th day trying to kick Suboxone!!! Maybe today will be the last day of my withdrawals! :) Good Luck!

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I agree that Suboxone is awesome when it comes to withdrawals, but if I had to do it all over again, I would not have started taking it. I have been on it for almost a year now and have been trying to get off of it for 14 days now and am still having withdrawal symptoms. At least with pain pills I knew that within a week I'd be good.. well good enough to function anyway. But with Suboxone... I have spoken with people who say that it took almost three weeks for the muscle spasms and restless legs to go away. And I am not talking about kicking the pill habit with the use of Suboxone...I am talking about when you are want to get off of Suboxone! It is a TERRIBLE drug to try and kick. Yes, your doctor will gradually take you down... "the safe route"... But it has been a complete nightmare for me! I almost called my dealer to see about getting a little heroin to help with the Suboxone withdrawals... That is how bad they have gotten. UGH! Suboxone is just another drug that you become addicted to. When in all reality, if we want to stop using why delay the inevitable? Just get it done and get it over with. This is only my opinion, however... I suggest that you do your research on Suboxone before you allow your Subox Doc to write you a prescription... You just might change your mind. As for me, well... I've come this far... tomorrow will be my 15th day trying to kick Suboxone!!! Maybe today will be the last day of my withdrawals! :) Good Luck!

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thats all i was trying to say.
doctors took mme off my 4 80mg oxycontin(addicted) and put me on methadone in 2005 and i eventually switched back but had to go through the methadone withdrawl cold turkey and took like 3 weeks and hurt legs...with pills, 3-4 days a week tops your done...i agree and was only trying to say all there doing is moving u to another drug whether you admit or not...
i tried going clean for 1 year after my surgery....and i had gotten worse tired of suffering so filed for ssi and went back to pain management...
if your serious about quitting and can and can deal with the pain then do it cold turkey...be at noones mercy if you can get control and fck the doctors, dea, gov, and pharmacies...but if your like me and chronic....we gotta do what we can

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When I read this it described my husband and I to a T..we need help our habit is as much as yours I just can't find a clinic where I live

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suboxone=for people not wanting to get dopesick and to get off opiates. however, by taking the suboxone your now addicted to another drug. ive done it all and reccomend cold turkey and just get it over with. If your in pain, keep taking meds or whatever works, if not, stop taking the meds you dont need and stop getting high ruining it for the legit people.

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I'll have to agree with betterdays40. I will also add that my Neurologist/Neurosurgeon advised me to NEVER take Suboxone or anything like it. His exact words were "I'd rather someone continue on their pain medications than listening to doctors and anyone else totally clueless about chronic intractable pain making patients think they are an "evil drug seeker/addict because they have to take pain medications in order to have a fraction of the quality of life most enjoy!" The side effects from Suboxone are bad. Just do a Google search about it. Then compare those results to say that of Lortab. Of course a Lortab or any pain medication produces GOOD feelings. That's what it is supposed to do! It's helping our pain! People also need to understand there is a huge difference in true addiction as opposed to dependence/tolerance to a medication. Dependence and tolerance are NORMAL. This does not mean you are an addict or addicted. In fact, the majority of chronic intractable pain patients are seriously UNDERTREATED. The DEA and FDA have the doctors so scared to treat/prescribe, millions are left in sheer agony.

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@okielover-thank you for backing me up. its so hard to try to help some of these people because they were just like i was when i was young and dumb(no pun intended and not calling anyone dumb but me)
doctors told me before about getting hooked to another opiate rgardless of how it makes you feel is simply just what it sounds like. your switching off one opiate to another period. the side effects are terrible and to try to get off say suboxone or methadone(long half lifes) is extremely hard to do compared to say roxicodone.
ive done both ways, proper with the doctor and methadone, and cold turkey and withdrawls from roxicodone and i can tell you the roxies took 3-6 days till i was good. the time i had help getting off the oxies to methadone was hell...lasting 4 weeks to get right. remember the methadone even when done correctly like in my case, the day will come when you will have to cold turkey(stop taking meds period if your serious and dont need them) so when you start switching from a short acting opiate for pain to a long acting opiate, well look what happened to me it took 4 weeks vs 1 week tops and really it was bad for 3 days and the rest i could tolerate. but the methadone was 4 weeks and had severe withdrawls with cramped legs,etc. nothing to joke around with. the doctors dont know they just write the rx. look to come off xanax they give valium(long half life) so u need less and it works. but eventually you will want off the suboxone and the only thing they give to help you is another opiate...usually back to a less stronger opiate than what you were on before suboxone. then your back to square one...back on the dam meds that made you want suboxone. Theres alot that goes into the thought of switching meds and remember the only way is to do cold turkey...its over before you know it. if your going to do cold turkey, i suggest getting off methadone and suboxone and switch to a roxi or a short acting opiate then cold turkey when you lower your doseage. always have your doctor help you. remember the darn dr doent know anything but what you tell him so he doent know how the drug exactly works or how to properly cut you down. be careful. its not easy. and really sux for people like me who need pain meds to get out of bed and have some quality of life.
im also learning what i can do(not much anymore) and what i cant do. and as we get older, the metal in my body is affixed to bones, etc and doesnt give where the natural body tends to heal and deal with arising problems. my problems will only get worse not better. but i am thankful for being alive today. just be careful with doctors. they dont care, havent a clue how these meds actually work, etc and are only concerned they are not writing anything that is on the news nowadays. they really dont care

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goodtimes40 - u are 100% correct, the doctors do NOT care. I am 100% living proof of that, as I have been going to the same doctors office (2 doctors here) since October 2010, and I have not missed a monthly appointment in all of this time. I have no plan for coming off of this stuff, the suboxone tablet is what i take, and all i have managed to do is go from 20 mgs to 8 mgs. I have a full time job that is very demanding and i barely use my vaca time because we are too busy, so I have no idea how I can have down time for withdrawal. i know i need to wean to as small of an amount as i can...i never heard about taking a short acting opiate to help, that sounds scary for someone like me.foyplv

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talk to your doctor. every patient is different. for me, the doctor used methadone to wean me down from oxycontin(80mg 4 times a day) way too much but that was from 2000-2010 so no doctors cared. anyways, i never tried suboxone but friends have and they said just like my doctor said taking any drug, methadone, suboxone, whatever, if you ever wish to come off the suboxone you would have to be given another opiate so you dont go withdrawl...unless your doctor can taper you down slow enough to where your body wouldnt even know it was not taking it anymore. which i never heard of. my doctor says if you wanted off the suboxone for example, he would give me something that has a short half life to make it easier when you decide to stop taking any opiates, the short acting get out in a week where methadone, suboxone takes a month.(i dont know personally bout suboxone but do know about methadone) and friends say its the same type withdrawl in the end.
but if the suboxone works for you..and your able to keep tapering down great. plz let us know. unfortuneatly, i need pain meds daily to function and not be in pain. but the amounts i used to be prescribed was way too much and feel much better with the dosages i get today.

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Re: Johanna (# 12) Expand Referenced Message

I feel you.
I jumped off 4 mgs of suboxone day 10 was pure hell.
Called Dr he told me to come in.
He appoligized because he said he never told me NOT to ever jump like that.
I seriously wished I was dead.
So I agree, coming off narcotics sucks but not as bad as coming off subs.
I'm back on the subs...
I've learned to try and deal with my pain even on subs but just can't bring myself to jump off subs again even by weaning.
I want off everything but have yet to find anything prescribed or natural or otherwise to get off it.
I so wish a miracle would come along that would take away the horrible withdrawals from getting off subs and NOT be addictive.
Ugh....such an ugly cycle.
My pain sucks no matter how you look at it.
I just do not want to be addicted to anything.
Is there any type of inpatient rehab?
I also have no insurance.
Dr perscibed me subutex because it's $86 compared to like $300-400.
Pharmaceutical companies are evil.
I did the 1 year free coupon already.
Thanks for listening..
I'm going to continue reading.

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Hi Carrie - REALLY enjoyed reading your post!! I'm hoping you (or anyone else on here) can help me with a question I have regarding Suboxone. First, can you please let me know if you are still taking it or if you have weaned off of it now? I know you're post was from several years ago so before I go into my long question I'd like to know whether or not are still on it. I'm basically trying to find someone who has gotten off of Suboxone and find out how they did it I would greatly appreciate a reply. Thank you in advance!

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Hey @ladyrhinestone, can you explain your withdrawal process more? I'm at about the same dosage and time and going to withdrawal. I suffer from spondylothesis and am sick of this s*** in my life!! Going cold turkey, the only way... :/

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SAVAGE, I'm sure you are aware it is much more complex than you make it seem in your post. Although I know what you are trying to say. Hopefully I can try and educate everyone a little about this epidemic. I am a chronic pain patient with a variety of medical problems and have had about 30 operations. In fact, I seriously doubt you know anyone or that there are many people who are prescribed as much medication at the doses I am. However, except for my Fentanyl Duragesic Patches 200 MCG an Hr which is constantly entering my body, I do not take meds at a certain time or for an occasion. So although there are people who are prescribed meds for legitimate reasons, they can still be and probably are addicted/dependent either physically and or mentally. Just as I am sure I am. However, one true sign of addiction is if at a certain time, like every 4hrs whether hurting or not somebody feels they have to medicate.. Having to take a pain pill before your feet hit the floor in the morning or the bed at night is addiction. If someone takes something to have a "HIGH" feeling etc. ADDICTION It's just like a person who says "I am not an alcoholic" but has to have a glass of wine or 3 every night. It is a very complicated subject obviously. And yes the people who abuse pills, taking 10 to 20 or 30 pills a day! Or misusing pills are making it harder for those of us who truly need them! When they had or felt like they had to make "Vicodin, Norco, Hydrocodone" all are basically the same drug, triplicates because they thought it would slow down the drug seekers and eventually help the illicit drug epidemic. I think they just made it worse especially for the people who truly have Chronic intractable pain! Maybe this will help some people understand Addiction/Dependence/Tolerance, Etc.

What Is Addiction?

According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), addiction is a “chronic, relapsing brain disease that is characterized by compulsive drug seeking and use, despite harmful consequences”. In other words, addiction is an uncontrollable or overwhelming need to use a drug, and this compulsion is long-lasting and can return unexpectedly after a period of improvement.

Addiction is a psychological condition that describes a compulsion to take a drug or engage in other harmful behaviors. Individuals can develop addictions to illicit street drugs, prescription medications, and even activities such as gambling. Addictions are persistent, and addicted individuals can relapse into drug use after years of abstaining.

Although addiction used to be thought of as a sign of moral weakness, it is now understood by the majority of those in the substance abuse and addiction treatment sphere to be a condition that arises in association with changes in the brain caused by the use of addictive substances. This is because nearly all addictive drugs either directly or indirectly activate an area of the brain, the nucleus accumbens, that is normally stimulated by naturally rewarding activities important for survival like eating, having intercourse, or spending time with friends.

To the addicted brain, obtaining and taking drugs can literally feel like a matter of life and death. Addictive drugs stimulate pleasure and motivation pathways in the brain much more strongly than natural rewards. Therefore, repeated exposure to these drugs can fool the brain into prioritizing drug-taking over normal, healthy activities.

The effect of addictive drugs on the brain’s reward pathways helps explain two important features of addiction:
1. The inability to limit or cease substance use.
2. The irresistible urge to continue seeking and taking the drug despite serious negative consequences.

People with an addiction to alcohol, for example, may intend to stop for a quick beer on the way home and yet find themselves still sitting on the bar stool hours later at closing time. Likewise, addicted drinkers will not be deterred from drinking even if they are advised by a doctor to stop for health reasons, receive a DUI, or are dismissed from a job.

This irrational persistence is what sets addiction apart from mere physical dependence. Many people in our society are dependent on caffeine and experience withdrawal symptoms such as headache, fatigue, and difficulty concentrating if they miss their morning cup of coffee. But no matter how unpleasant going without caffeine may be to people who are dependent on it, it is unlikely many of them would commit a crime in order to get an espresso or refuse to give up coffee entirely if told by their doctor that it might kill them.

Thanks for reading, if you did :)

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For those struggling.... you can use kratom, a natural plant leaf, that will stop withdrawals and cravings. Use it for expected days of withdrawal, and for PAWS, if you get that. It's safe, effective and easily obtained. I know many people who have stopped their opiate addiction with this - every kind of opiate! There is hope, and a much easier way to get your life back - it's called kratom.

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Omg..i sware sound. Like my story ..i cant believe.theres someone out there with the answer..

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I used to be a nurse, until age 36, and a single mom of 2 kids (one a pregnant 17 yr old, and a 10 yr old son); had a patient that weighed 360lbs fall on me (5'8" 115lbs), who broke my back and after 3 surgeries in less than a year, being in a body cast for over a year, losing custody of my son, having to move in me and my daughter and grandchild with my mom who was dying of cancer, then take over the care of my 14yr old niece and 16yr old nephew that she had been raising bc my brother and his wife were opiate addicts...oh and I was working private duty under the table so there was no insurance or workers comp., I have been on pain meds ever since and don't abuse them. I got remarried 2 years ago and moved to another state and there laws and prescribing pain meds were hell, everyone was an addict, even after bringing my records of 6 yrs never failing a drug panel, etc (and by the way in my home state my family dr prescribed my Percocet for me, I never asked for and even turned down offers to up my meds) I find in my new state drs don't prescribe pain meds, you must go to a pain clinic, and as I said I was treated as an addict and told from day one (even with a titanium fusion holding half my spine together ) that I didn't need the meds, I was an addict and they immediately cut my dose from 6 Percocet 10s a day to 4, and within 4 months they had me on 2 5mg Percocet a day, I couldn't even feel those and ended up in a wheelchair, I tried another clinic, they were all nice at first and increased me to 4 7.5MGS a day, would never increase it, then started adding neurotin, then tinzidine, and even though I told them they didn't help and made me feel tired, dizzy, naseaus, slurred my speech, I fell alot, they insisted I take them or no pain meds at all. Well that lasted about 4 months, and a started decreasing my percocet and increasing the Nuerotin and the tinzidine. Well I ended up completely you wheelchair bound or in a recliner was no life anymore, and because of the side effects of the other meds they put me on people thought I was on drugs all the time because I was slurring my speech, stumbling all over the place, falling a lot - I had no balance, I was incoherent, I would be up for days on end and be so sleep deprived I would hallucinate, then I would sleep 24 hours a day sometimes for 7 to 10 days to where my husband had to wake me up literally to use the bathroom and to eat and that was all I did, I literally thought I was losing my mind. Thank God for my husband and him having the sense to research how his wife went from and active happy normal person, to this vegetable person that he didn't even recognize any more who couldn't even literally feed her self, and found literally the only Doctor in the entire state we live in that is a back specialist and prescribes his patients pain medications himself! I don't know if I mentioned that the entire time I was at these paying clinics about 18 months total I never once saw Dr only nurse practitioners and this is my spine and my spinal cord in my brain neurological system we're dealing with and I was dealing with nurse practitioners I had more education then they did as a nurse!!! Needs ass to say in my old State my doctor was a neurosurgeon and that was who I saw every month when I got my pain medications so that's why I was so shocked that I did not even see a doctor here at these pain clinics, NOT EVEN ONCE!!! And windy put me on the combination of those medications and my husband went to get the prescription filled on a Saturday, the pharmacist refuse to fill the medication saying they do not interact well together and that she wanted to make sure she spoke to the nurse practitioner that had for scribe them to make sure she didn't make the mistake me for she filled the medications because she was worried about their interactions, need this to say we gotta phone call on Monday saying well we called your doctor and she says that she wants you on those medications and that she believes the risk is worth the payoff you will get from taking the medications. Anyway my husband found me this wonderful doctor I had to literally supply like a job application to be his patient I had to send in every medical record I had since my surgery I had to send in basically an essay on why I needed his help, which I thought was a little crazy to have to apply to be a patient usually being a nurse I know that the patient is my boss was out them I wouldn't have a job so it was really a backwards thing to me but I was desperate so I did it and it took 6 weeks to get a reply but he did except me as a patient and I got an appointment. Wow it has been wonderful ever since he could not believe the combination of medications that was on and was understanding of the side effects I was having considering the medications out was on he said I was pretty lucky that those are the only things that happened to me I could have died from this combination of medicines, that none of those medications or all the physical therapy that these pain clinic made me go through for going to help my situation at all it was a failed spinal fusion and the only treatment was pain medication in order to have any semblance of a normal life and any quality of life. He had to slowly we me off of these other medications because they cuz literally kill you if you stopped taking them which know whenever mentioned and tell him, put me back on pain medication, and slowly increased my dosage as he realized how much more damage to my back was after all the falls I had taken because of the medications these stupid pain clinic put me on. And he pooped it my in my eyes from before I moved after my surgery and I had had three done over the course of the year and a half of going to the pink clinic before I found him and then he did one when I first went to him so that was a total of four, and he said he could see obvious damages in changes extreme changes and were singing in each one overtime and he can't believe that these pain clinic didn't notice that or do anything about it... and so now he has me set up to speed to a surgeon about having more surgery done because of the damage that those medications and all the falls I took... but I am mediately want I was tapered off of all those medications and put back on proper pain medications was out of my wheelchair and starting to live life again, its frustrating because I don't have much stamina or strength after being in a wheelchair or a recliner for year and a half now but I know is time I will build up my strength again and my stamina and get back to where I was and I just think God for my husband who found this man and realize that it was the medications is wife at a lost her mind, and got me easy proper care that I needed and his been by my side and them best support system a person could ever ask for through all of this.

And I apologize when I hit respond I didn't mean to go into my entire story that was not my intention my intention was to agree with your statement that it's hard to feel sorry for people who of use these drugs on purpose and therefore make it nearly impossible now for us people who really need them in order to actually just have any quality of life whatsoever, I didn't choose to be in this situation I didn't use to have my back broken I didn't choose to have 3 back surgeries and behalf metal in my spine and in chronic pain for the rest of my life, I actually was trying to be a nurse and take care of people in do good in this world. And now because of people that do abused these drugs and sell them on the streets and steal them and whatever else they do by choice I had to live last year and a half of my life and a wheelchair being told I was a drug addict and being made much worse because of that situation... every time I went to that clinic I felt degraded humiliated like less than a human being I felt like I was being called a liar even with 6 and a half years of Records that I never failed a drug panel, I never abused my medicine, I never missed a drug count, I never miss use my medicine. I was still treated that way and being a nurse myself I wouldn't never treat patients that way even if they were drug attics I didn't humiliate them and make them feel like they were less than human and that's what these places did to me. And it took me from being a sympathetic nurse to knowing that drug addiction is it disease and feeling sorry for addicts and trying to help them to being a very angry with addicts and how they have made me suffer needlessly because I am in chronic pain and yet they choose to abuse the drugs.

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Then why in the world do you feel a need to respond?!? This woman shared her story which is not always easy to do because of judgemental people like you. Simply look elsewhere if you don't like what your reading!! For some people stumbling across this could be a godsend...

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What a dumb ass comment to an individual that is only trying to help people. This was not even meant for you to read, unless your judge mental , overbearing, insensitive ass is actually
addicted. If that's the case, I apologize, but don't try and make someone feel bad, especially when they are trying to help people.

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I loved your post going through the same. Waitress mother. Trying to be superhero but without pills I can't do anything. Very upset I let them sneak up on me. Plus just had tooth pulled and they prescribe them like candy :(. U don't realize what u do to yourself because you are getting that happy euphoric feeling from the damn pills. My withdrawals are bad then u cave in and it starts all over. I was given a strip I wanted to try it I don't want to take pills anymore. I just want to function. How long should I wait to take part of a strip? It's been about 12 hours since I've taken pill

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